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One of my opponents has a new ad, claiming that I will shut down all children’s lemonade stands.
Seriously.
He says that I won’t be acting alone, of course. I will do it in concert with my “progressive cronies” – the actual term in the ad. Presumably in return for corporate PAC contributions from Big Lemon.
My opponent also claims that my “progressive cronies” and I will make gasoline so expensive (specifically, $10 a gallon) that people will “stop traveling to Florida” – again, an actual quote from his ad. So Disney World will have to change its name to Ghost Town, I guess.
And, finally, my opponent says that people will no longer go hunting – the horror!! – because my “progressive cronies” and I will “outlaw guns and ammunition.” I have to concede the logic of the latter part of that. What would be the point of outlawing guns, but not ammunition? Wouldn’t it be really frustrating, having all that ammunition around, and not being able to shoot at anything?
Remarkably, my opponent says that I will accomplish all of this during 2013. Clearly, it will be a busy year.
I would like to assure my opponent, and all other right-wing paranoid crackpots, that I will neither eliminate children’s lemonade stands, nor triple the price of gasoline, nor outlaw guns and ammunition. If I have a secret plan to do any of those things, it’s so secret that even I don’t know about it. It’s like I’m the Manchurian Candidate, or something.
And while we’re on the subject, I would like to inform my opponent that there are a few more things that neither I nor my “progressive cronies” intend to do:
(1) Make abortions mandatory.
(2) Socialize the means of production.
(3) Outlaw heterosexual intercourse.
(4) Tax breathing, or urination.
(5) Take away his velvet painting of dogs playing poker.
(6) Nationalize his underwear.
(7) Fill the sky with black helicopters.
(8) Remove the tin foil from his skull.
One more thing that I promise we won’t do: we won’t prevent imbeciles from throwing their hats into the ring. So my opponent can run for President in 2016, when Barack Obama is finishing his second term.
Are we clear on that? Good. Now let’s get back to discussing the things that my opponent is so desperate not to talk about: Jobs, healthcare, homes and education. What’s that? He has nothing to say? That’s what I thought.
7 Comments
love ya alan
Know what? Teabaggers are batshit insane and just about everything they say is delusional but they mean everything they say and they act in accordance with what they say. I don’t live anywhere near your district but it is my opinion that the reason there was a Democratic bloodbath in 2010, with an especially hard hit “blue dog” caucus is because you guys passed the euphemistically titled “Affordable Care Act”, which is almost identical to the Heritage Foundation approved alternate proposal to “Hillarycare” in the 1990s. You guys put the insurance and pharmaceutical companies, (who CREATED the fucking problem to begin with!), in the driver’s seat in perpetuity. Even the so called “Progressive Caucus” was all bellicose and demanding this and that, (including a weak ass public option which you didn’t even get), in exchange for your votes but even though everything you guys demanded was “compromised” away, you meekly passed it anyway. That epic cave is why you are currently unemployed. It wasn’t the Republican attacks or the teabaggers interrupting town halls, it was Democratic meekness. Period. I don’t care what the DCCC or the DNC or Bobo Brooks tells you, you lost because you CAVED. The ACA is going to BREAK working class people and they know it, even if you don’t.
I have a great deal of respect for you and I was a huge supporter of yours, even though I don’t live in your district but I am going to tell anybody and everybody with access to the inner DNC bubble what time it is and you’d better listen before it’s too late. Harry Truman said that “When given a choice between a Republican and somebody who acts like a Republican, the people will pick the real Republican, every time.” Those words were true then and they are just as true now. Why in Hell would anybody vote for a Democrat who behaves like a Republican? Why not just vote for the Republican or stay home and avoid the inevitable disappointment?
What I am telling you isn’t exactly on topic but I won’t apologize for it. What I am telling you is subjective in nature and therefore is not open to your interpretation or that of those ham brained consultants that seem to pop up like the flu everywhere. This is how I feel and it’s been very carefully considered. I’m sick of politicians shining me on. I’m through with you people convincing one another that I don’t really mean this or that I don’t know what I’m saying. Dismiss me and these other readers at your peril and at the country’s Mr. Grayson! This is our last chance to make a real change. I need a promise that you will carry this truth back into the inner chambers of the Democratic Party and do everything you can to convince them three things:
1) The future of the Party isn’t with Wall Street, the banks and other big donors, it’s with the same working people whose interests you’ve always put on the negotiating table, and whose interests are always the first to be “compromised” away.
2) Working class people are not stupid. They know what’s going on and no ivy stained cabal of elites knows the first fucking thing about what we face, yet they always assume they “know what’s best” for us.
3) This isn’t about “purity”. I’m not stupid, I know how compromise is supposed to work but even when Democrats held majorities in both Houses and the Presidency, all of the compromises were inexcusably lopsided in favor of the other guys. I just want you people to start practicing what you preach. The party claims to have principles but they seem to be of the throw away type.
Sick of this rant yet? Get used to it, you and every other person with access to the party’s inner circle are going to have to see it every time I have the tiniest amount of your attention. The time for scorn is over, the time for dismissal is ended and the time for platitudes is ancient history. This is the real deal Mr. Grayson so Democrats have to decide what they want to do: Grow a spine and stand up for the people who give far more real service than all of the politicians in the nation combined, or stay in bed with the rich lobbyists and play your fiddle while the empire burns. Your choice. And your last chance.
Believe it.
Well said, Margaret.
Bravo, Margaret!
Very well said.
I doubt, however, that you shall have the basic courtesy of a reply.
Frankly, it seems that these posts of Mr. Grayson are in the nature of celebrity “drive-bys” … akin, in substance and meaning, to the “Hollywood Wave” …
DW
The best thing about Grayson’s threads are the Firedog replies. I don’t even bother to read what he has to say anymore…
Maybe not but while a reply would be polite, it’s not necessary. Maybe he won’t even read it but that’s not something I can control. I don’t intend to bully or badger or badmouth people into agreeing with or even acknowledging my opinion but I will keep putting it out there. To every Democratic office holder past or present, to every consultant or talking head who comes along trying to peddle their opinions to me, to every party functionary and consultant who wants me to strategize with them, (give them money), and to any and every voter who sits still long enough. I’m tired of everybody having every fucking conversation except the ones we actually need to have so I’m gonna say it. Until and unless Jane, Markos or Amato ban me from their respective sites, I’m gonna rant and rave and shove their faces in it, in as polite but direct a manner as possible. It’s time for these politicians to get their heads out the sand and actually CONVERSE with real people, without the Democratic party manual or talking points of the day, without the platitudes and the hedging and without the bullshit. I’m just one voice but I’m going to speak up about it and I’m not going to back off until we can finally have a REAL conversation about the money in the system and fucking eternal wars and climate change and the fact that the bottom HALF of this country’s earners have exactly ONE percent of the wealth and the fact that the thieving bastards who STOLE peoples’ retirements and savings and blew up the economy, have so far not only not been prosecuted but in some cases are still having taxpayer money thrown at them. I’m going to keep using the caps lock until we can finally talk about how far off track we have gotten as a nation, until we can call naked bigotry and hatred what it is and until we can call liars, “liars”. It’s up to the Party members and affiliates but it’s important to point out that while I’ve voted against Republicans solely due to party affiliation, I have never voted for a Democrat for the same reason. It’s an important distinction and one that Party officials shouldn’t dismiss.
Again, Margaret, I say, BRAVO!!!
You are correct on EVERY particular.
Whether ANY of the political class, which includes the media, are to hear OR respond, is beside the point …
In fact, it does not matter whether the political class responds or not.
It is up to us to dare to do as you suggest.
This is OUR world and this OUR time.
Let us behave as if we understood and embraced those two truths.
As you are, very clearly, doing.
Thank you, Margaret.
Namaste
DW