Ted Nugent was at the State of the Union address. He was the guest of a Republican Congressman from Texas. It seems fitting that the darling of gun-loving, redneck, inbred America would be invited to the SOTU by a Congressman from a gun-loving, redneck, inbred part of Texas.
Some would argue that the whole state is gun-loving, redneck, and inbred, but Molly Ivins was from Texas, so there must be some nice parts.
I don’t expect Texans from the gun-loving, redneck, inbred part of Texas to give me much grief about what I wrote. I figure that only Texans that can read will find my diary hidden away here in the Land of KOS, and, frankly, Texans that can read are by definition liberal.
Ted is a cartoon character, “Be very, very quiet, I’m hunting attention.”
He is however a tribute to gun-loving, redneck, inbred America in so much as he has suggested that what both President Obama and retired Secretary of State Clinton really need to straighten them out are AK-47 enemas.
Most of Texas and most Texans have no problem with Ted sort of representing them by invitation, but those same parties had six kinds of a shit hemorrhage when the Dixie Chicks said they were against violence and killing and were ashamed that Dubya was from Texas.
The Dixie Chicks were traitors and Ted Nugent is a patriot.
This dichotomy should create a giant seismic ripple, and the big chunk of armadillo shit that is Texas should slide off into the Gulf of Mexico making New Mexico and Oklahoma into beach-front property.
That’s why I say the state of the union is bonkers.
America can sound like the world of George Orwell’s novel 1984:
“To know and to not know, to be conscious of complete truthfulness while telling carefully constructed lies, to hold simultaneously two opinions which cancelled out, knowing them to be contradictory and believing in both of them, to use logic against logic, to repudiate morality while laying claim to it, to believe that democracy is impossible and that the Party was the guardian of democracy. To forget, whatever it was necessary to forget, then to draw it back into memory again at the moment when it was needed, and then promptly to forget it again, and above all, to apply the same process to the process itself.”
I use the Nugent/Dixie Chicks example because even someone from Texas might pause and cock their heads like dogs listing to a high-pitched sound for just a second when they think of this example.
I’d like to think that the last 30 years in politics in America has been bonkers because the white, male power structure has been panicking about the end of its dominance. I think much of the crazy we hear every day is a reaction to a black President and the last, desperate convulsions of the good old white boy network.
They only know one way to do things…doublethink. If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. I’d like to think they will have to moderate if they ever hope to be relevant again.
Then, I think about Karl Rove and the crazy mother#uckers slugging it out with the Tea Party and the crazier mother#uckers for control of the Republican Party. Karl Rove wants to stop the Tea Party from running crazier mother#uckers in primaries against the crazy mother#uckers.
Karl knows that nut bags like Christine “I am not a witch” O’Donnell, Sharon “Second Amendment Remedies” Angle, Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin, and Paul “Science is from the Pit of Hell” Broun have trouble running against reality-based Democrats. He’d like the Republican Party to stop inviting nutbags to the table.
Ted Nugent represents the crazier mother#uckers. The Texas Congressman that invited Ted to the SOTU did it because he thinks it will help him get reelected. He hopes Ted Nugent is a hero to the majority of his constituents…Hell, his constituents are Texans after all…he might be right.
Compared to other states, Texas is near the bottom in education, in the top ten for obesity, and in the top ten for beer consumption…apparently ”Fat, drunk, and stupid” is a way to go through life.
The optimistic me says, “We have to be reaching the crazy limit any time now, right?” The pessimistic me says, “These sons-of-bitches have tons of crazy left in their tanks. They are going to double and quadruple down on the craziness because that’s all they know.”
I fear Hunter S. Thompson’s vision of progress ultimately will be true. He said, “For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.”
If that’s true, we should be getting a shit ton full of triumph and beauty when this is all over.
Photo from shawncampbell licensed under Creative Commons




8 Comments

Pretty funny stuff, but just to remind you that Molly Ivins wasn’t/isn’t the only decent person from Texas. While the majority appears to be not too bright, we probably shouldn’t paint with too wide a brush. Although I admit that I too have thoughts of wishing Texas would just secede or fall into the Gulf myself.
Still, there are many good Texans, some of whom are active here.
Yeah, definitely bonkers. Especially when people waste their energy complaining about attention whores like Ted Nugent or a dead Andrew Breitbart instead of criticizing the betrayals and underhandedness of arguably the most influencial person in the world: the guy who gave the SOTU.
I used to live in Massachusetts. At one point, I had a roommate from Texas. His attitude was that things are better, bigger, and more impressive in Texas. I eventually got him to stop by explaining that Massachusetts is more than just an hour ahead of Texas. That was 20 years ago.
Today I realize that my statement was far truer than I originally thought.
True. The most ridiculous thing about the Republican Party is that the DLC convinced the Democratic Party to use the Republican Party as its role model.
P.S. Ted Nugent has never affected my daily life one whit. Since 1992, though, DLCers, New Democrats, Third Wayers and No Labelers have affected all our daily lives a whole lot.
And there is no major Party to fight to fight them, thanks in some measure to leftist who want to complain bitterly about Obama everywhere but in the voting booth.
I grew up in Texas, San Antonio, to be specific. I never did like living in the place–too hot, hardly ever snows, nasty crawling flying biting things, and I’m allergic to just about everything that grows there.
I had to take so much antihistamine to keep my eyes from swelling shut that I would pop positive for amphetamines on drug tests.
So I did the sensible thing. I moved away the first chance I got, and I have no intention of ever going back, except for brief visits to family if and when I can ever afford them.
Personal preferences aside, though, I find this sort of geographic broad-brushing inaccurate and counterproductive, Cynicman. By doing so, you ignore the fact that a solid 40% of Texans who vote are just as appalled by the likes of the Republican congresscritter whom you didn’t bother to name(that’s OK, I’m not going to bother to look him up, either). Or the fact that neither San Antonio proper nor Travis County as a whole(that includes Austin, BTW) ever voted for Reagan or Bush or McCain or Romney.
That’s a whole LOT of people whose home state you are bashing. I see no useful purpose in doing so.
I was born in San Antonio and spent the first 13 years of my life there. For me it was a great place to be a kid. There were certainly many problems, but as they began to intrude on my life, my parents divorced and we moved away.
As an adult I moved to Houston with my wife. Again, it was a good place to live. The craziness shown to the rest of the world is not the whole state population. In fact, the far right worked hard to skew the voting districts and attended school board meetings to get their viewpoints expressed and candidates elected. Too many people stood by, now because they agreed, but because they didn’t want to do the work of opposing this by showing up. Now the extremists have a big sounding board and seem to represent everyone.
I haven’t lived there for many years, but I have enough life experience to give personal examples. I won’t now so you can say that I don’t know what I am talking about, but I’ll live with that for now.
Personal examples of…what? I don’t know. I’m can’t say you don’t know what you are talking about unless I know what you are talking about.
And I really don’t. Please elucidate. Or not. Up to you.