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Starve them until they get jobs

12:24 pm in Uncategorized by Cynicman

Republicans think people on food stamps are lazy bastards that won’t ever make anything of themselves until we starve a few of them off of the government teat.

Have you ever been on food stamps?

I was once on unemployment, paying child support, alimony, and rent…AND…I still wasn’t poor enough for food stamps. I don’t ever want to be poor enough to qualify for food stamps.

Yet, Republicans act like being on food stamps or WIC or any of the programs that try to make sure no one in the richest country in the world has to go to bed hungry is a choice made by lazy, good-for-nothings because they would rather not work.

Republicans will tell you that unemployment and federal nutrition assistance is the reason people are out of work. If you start starving them and their children, the Republicans say, they’ll go get one of the millions of good jobs just lying about waiting for unlazy people to take them.

This myth that people are living in poverty because something is wrong with them has to be dragged out into the sunlight and be staked through the heart. This myth has sucked the compassion out of America. Far too many people in this country believe that good people live well, and bad people live badly because they are lazy.

It’s been quite a while since I blogged about anything…I can’t believe I just used a form of the verb blog…blog, blogged, blogging. I may fit into this century, yet.

My inability to blog has come for two reasons.

First, I have worked for three companies since the first of June. The first place got sold to second company, and a week later I accepted a job offer from a third company.

Second, June and July left me full up to the eyeballs of asshole Republicans.

If you agree with the following, you are an asshole Republican:

  • Let’s punish lazy sluts that get knocked up and force them to have babies so we can punish their hungry babies later.
  • Let’s make sure black, brown, young, poor, and old people have a hard time voting.
  • Let’s do everything we can to stall any progress on anything that could help Americans so we can blame it on the President and pack the House and the Senate with more Republican assholes so we can kick the hungry, poor, homeless, pregnant, black, brown, sick, and old people in the collective balls.
  • The country sucks because the hungry, poor, homeless, pregnant, black, brown, and old people have been sucking it dry with their damn laziness.
  • Old, sick people need to get busy living or get busy dying, but they have got to stop looking for handouts and do one or the other on their own.
  • If we tell kids what their sex parts are for, they will want to start using them to do those things. (Blogger’s Note: When I was a kid, my peers told me what my sex parts were for, but I had already figured out 90 percent of it by virtue of having the stuff where I could easily get my hands on it.)
  • Towns like Detroit need to die before they can be reborn into conservative wonderlands.
  • It’s the weak and the powerless that are dragging America down…who needs them?
  • Sluts need to tie their legs together…AND…sluts that are just asking for rape need to wear wet suits.
  • God hates gay people, and it’s up to us to make life as hard as possible on them so they will stop choosing to be gay and just turn straight, already.
  • Mexicans are all drug mules that have broken the law and have come to American to take all the good crop-picking, landscaping, dishwashing, and bathroom cleaning jobs.
  • Good women don’t have unwanted pregnancies and NEVER get raped.
  • Black people, come on, really, you act like everybody still hates nigg…ah, like everybody still hates colored people. You have to bring race into everything.

It’s this crap that keeps me from being able to deal with these people as members of the human race. All I want to do is slap them silly.

It’s not just Republicans…

Anthony Weiner, Carlos Danger, whatever, take your penis and go home. The Mayor of New York has to be a dick sometimes, but we don’t need one that thinks no woman is complete without feasting her eyes on the magic schlong of Carlos Danger.

Why can’t we get some non-assholes to run for office? What would be wrong with getting something done and both sides getting the credit? Why can’t we all just get along?

I guess it must be because good people naturally shun assholes, so no good people want to go anywhere near Washington, D. C.

May you live in interesting times

8:54 am in Uncategorized by Cynicman

I personally have been living in interesting times, and my country has been right there with me.

Three weeks ago I went to a job interview basically as a favor to a friend. Two weeks ago, on Monday, the company I work for told us our group was being sold, and we would become employees of our new master by July 1.

Two weeks ago Tuesday, I got a job offer from the aforementioned interview contingent on passing a background check…I passed. Two weeks from this coming Monday, I start a new job.

I know how incredibly lucky I am. There are way too many people without even one job and I get a choice of jobs…it feels weird.

As weird as that feels, America is even weirder.

Representative Steve Stockman (R-Texas 36th Congressional District) has sponsored H.R. 2625, which would strip public school districts of federal funding if said schools try to impose imaginary gun control.

Stockman is crazy angry that some schools in America are making the use of even a “pretend” gun (point your finger and say, “Bang, bang!”) a suspendable offense. I guess Stockman feels that school is where children should learn that loaded weapons are the best way to solve disputes and decrease crime.

Illinois’ lawmakers overturned a gubernatorial veto this week to allow Illinois to become the last of the 50 states to pass a law allowing its citizens to carry a concealed weapon.

It will be legal to carry a concealed weapon in Illinois starting in 2014. The liberals had to mess with the law, however; you must be at least 21 and you can’t  have been convicted of a misdemeanor or drug violation or undergone treatment for alcohol or drug addiction, in the last five years. You must not have any pending arrest warrants or other offenses, as well. Hmmmm, mentally disturbed…not on the list?

In Ohio, women wishing abortions will have to get a state-mandated lecture from their doctor and an abdominal ultra-sound. Should anything go wrong during the actual abortion, women can’t be admitted to a public hospital…they can be admitted to a private hospital (for lots more money). Oh, if rape crises centers even use the word “abortion” while counseling victims…the center can lose its state funding.

In Texas, the woman behind the Texas anti-abortion bill, Republican Representative Jodie Laubenberg, believes rape kits prevent pregnancy, “In hospital emergency rooms, we have funded what’s called rape kits that will help the woman, basically clean her out. And then hopefully that will alleviate that.”

If rape kits work the way Miss Jodie suggests and conception had already happened, the brilliant Miss Jodie is saying Texas already funds some abortions.

Why are Republicans fonder of the unborn than the born? To Republicans, abortions are awful, but so is SNAP, WIC, free or reduced breakfasts, free or reduced lunches, free or reduced medical care, Head Start, after school programs, and gun control.

While you float in your mother’s uterus, you apparently have potential in the eyes of Republicans. Once you arrive, you fall victim to that pervasive welfare mentality Republicans are always talking about. Little, newborn babies suddenly become all about the handout. They quit even trying to make something of themselves.

  • “The state will roll me over; I don’t have to learn how.”
  • “I don’t have to get potty trained; Uncle Sam will wipe my ass and change my diaper.”
  • “Walk? Kiss my ass; you walk over here with my check, and bring some of those government-surplus Cheerios with you.”

Texas Governor Rick Perry has announced that he won’t run for another term. Jesus, he had to get out of the way or Republicans had no chance of keeping the Governorship in the land of armadillos.

I have admitted that I overestimated Rick Perry’s intelligence by a factor of at least 100…or, I underestimated the intelligence of the Republican primary voter. I had Perry winning the nomination in 2012. I’m glad I was wrong, but I think he’s going to run again…aaaarrrrrgggghhhhh!

I’ll leave you with the story of some nuts from ten counties in the northern part of Colorado that want to leave their current state and become “North Colorado.” These folks are mad that they have been disenfranchised by not getting their way on gun regulations and petroleum industry regulations. They want far less of each than the majority of Colorado citizens.

No, you assholes…Disenfranchisement is not getting to vote at all…it’s not finding yourself on the losing side. Disenfranchisement is keeping people from voting altogether…like what Florida, Texas, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Alabama…you get the idea.

If you vote and lose, it isn’t the same as losing the vote.

And, because I love saying it… “Suck it, Associate Justice of the Supreme Court Antonin Scalia. Did anyone ever tell you that you are beautiful when you are apoplectic about Gay people?” Read the rest of this entry →