I think I’m getting the fear

1:18 pm in Uncategorized by Cynicman

Hunter S. Thompson via David Willis

Hunter S. Thompson

In the 1998 movie made about Dr. Hunter S. Thompson’s seminal work, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Dr. Gonzo says, “I hate to say this, but this place is getting to me. I think I’m getting the Fear.”

There are people in America that believe that the murders at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, were A) staged or B) sanctioned by President Barack Obama to make it easier for him to get his gun control agenda passed.

This blog isn’t about that, although, that story is part of my problem.

I’m entering month three of hardly any sun light. What sun light there is shines while I’m inside doing my day job.

I’ve never been diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder, but my depression always worsens once it begins getting dark before six o’clock.

I suffer from depression, and when stories like the grand gun-control conspiracy surface at this time of year, I get a serious case of the-assholes-are-winning syndrome.

If any of you have depression, take your meds. I am lucky enough to have a job with medical insurance and a discount prescription plan, but I stupidly think I’m all better from time to time and start to “forget” to take my meds or worry about the expense and skip refills. I have no excuse when I don’t take care of myself.

When I think about people that know they have depression but have no way of getting medicine, I wonder how they function. I went through a three-year period where I had no insurance, and I held on with white knuckles and ended up begging a public mental health clinic to please get me some wellbutrin and prozac so I could keep working to support my family.

Thank goodness that clinic helped me. But, I think about folks that have no help or have no hope. I shouldn’t dwell on such things for my own good, especially when there is so little sun light, but I have been thinking about my fellow citizens a great deal lately.

I get the fear when I hear the conspiracy nuts hop hither and yon through the deep weeds of delusion and prejudice to come up with stories like the President of the United States killed a bunch of school kids, or allowed planes to fly into the Twin Towers. It’s nuttiness at the highest level.

Nuts like that are so common that I know I shouldn’t let them give me the fear, but add them to…

Politicians holding up aid to areas hit hard by hurricane Sandy to make sound bites on the talking head shows.

A Senator standing on the floor of the Senate saying the hurricane Sandy aid bill won’t pass unless money for Alaskan fisheries is included in the bill.

Politicians tip toeing around gun control because they barely squeaked into office from a state where everybody has a gun.

It must be so awesome to be a politician that they will do or say anything to get re-elected…anything…except actually help the people that elected them.

Really, it must be piles of money, whiskey, cocaine, and whores.  It must be hot and cold running orgasms and peppermint cream foot massages.

Why else do these sons and daughters of bitches care only about re-election? Please, someone do a study to see if states with term limits get less assholes in public office. Do they get more state legislation to make life better for their citizens? Are their Congressional Representatives and their Senators less apt to say stupid shit out loud?

The assholes are winning. I’ve always known it. They have more money.

Will America default on its debt? There are asshole politicians that think that is exactly what we need to do because it will EMBARRASS THE BLACK GUY IN THE WHITE HOUSE!

Really? That’s the best they can do? That’s why I get the fear and why my depression gets worse when I read, watch, and listen to the news.

I was on break at my part-time night job and All in the Family was on the television. Archie Bunker went off on a rant about how liberals just want to give white people’s money to lazy black people. That show was from around 1972. I graduated from high school that year.

Back then, I thought the assholes would be defeated by good politicians elected by intelligent people. Now, I know the assholes get elected and keep getting elected because the public at-large remains proudly uninformed.  Politician may be the greatest gig on the planet…you don’t have to do a fucking thing, you vote your own raises, and you get a pension and free health care.

Jesus Christ, I hope spring gets here quick…I could really use the sunshine.
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