
Crying Baby - flickr
There has been large number of explanations, reasons and even derogating of the elite and those on the right concerning their behavior and seemingly lack of compassion. Ranging from fascist ideology to even psycho-pathology. Greed, racism, ignorance, close mindedness and even mental illness. And I will agree that in a number of cases that more than a few of these do apply.
However I believe that there is another reason far more foreboding yet straightforward for this. An article in the Books Section of The New Yorker may give some insight into some of what has been transpiring. In the article – Spoiled Rotten: Why do kids rule the roost? -
Elizabeth Kolbert examines the work of Carolina Izquierdo, an anthropologist at the University of California who spent several months with the Matsigenka, a tribe of about twelve thousand people who live in the Peruvian Amazon. Izquierdo decided at one point to accompany a local family of this tribe on their food gathering expedition. Another member of the family, a young girl of only 6 years, asked to go along. Though she had no clear role in this as yet, she spent here time cleaning off the sleeping mats and helped stack the kapashi leaves for transport back.
In the evening, she fished for crustaceans, which she cleaned, boiled, and served to the others. Calm and self-possessed, Yanira “asked for nothing,” Izquierdo later recalled.
This behavior made a strong impression on the anthropologist.
Kolbert notes that while Izquierdo was doing her field work a college was doing a study on 32 middle-class families in Los Angeles for 21st century family life. Giving examples of a 5 year old boy who after being asked 5 times to take a bath or shower and then put into the bath room by his father, still just left and went to play video games. An 8 year old girl finding no silverware at her place on the table just sat and complained until another girl got up and got some. And another boy who could not get his feet into his sneakers, cajoled his father into untying them for him.
The author finally stating that:
With the exception of the imperial offspring of the Ming dynasty and the dauphins of pre-Revolutionary France, contemporary American kids may represent the most indulged young people in the history of the world. It’s not just that they’ve been given unprecedented amounts of stuff—clothes, toys, cameras, skis, computers, televisions, cell phones, PlayStations, iPods. (The market for Burberry Baby and other forms of kiddie “couture” has reportedly been growing by ten per cent a year.) They’ve also been granted unprecedented authority. “Parents want their kids’ approval, a reversal of the past ideal of children striving for their parents’ approval,” Jean Twenge and W. Keith Campbell, both professors of psychology, have written. In many middle-class families, children have one, two, sometimes three adults at their beck and call. This is a social experiment on a grand scale, and a growing number of adults fear that it isn’t working out so well: according to one poll, commissioned by Time and CNN, two-thirds of American parents think that their children are spoiled.
Kolbert then goes onto to talk of Pamela Druckerman, a former reporter for the Wall Street Journal who had moved to Paris. and talked to a lot of French Mothers.
She learned that the French believe ignoring children is good for them. “French parents don’t worry that they’re going to damage their kids by frustrating them,” she writes. “To the contrary, they think their kids will be damaged if they can’t cope with frustration.” One mother, Martine, tells Druckerman that she always waited five minutes before picking up her infant daughter when she cried. While Druckerman and Martine are talking, in Martine’s suburban home, the daughter, now three, is baking cupcakes by herself. Bean is roughly the same age, “but it wouldn’t have occurred to me to let her do a complicated task like this all on her own,” Druckerman observes. “I’d be supervising, and she’d be resisting my supervision.”
She (Druckerman) also learned the French are great believers in non. Saying “No” and for their children learning to cope with that. And when the French say no, they mean it and it sticks.
I would say that this type of spoiled upbringing has been going on for generations. Either from a resentment of how the parents were raised or the parents themselves were raided this way. Interestingly, enough children from overly authoritarian families quite often develop the same personality disjunction as neither are encouraged to develop personal responsibility and the self worth that comes from that. They learn to expect the world to be handed to them on a silver platter and to be able to control and/or cajole, manipulate, lie and extort whatever the feel they want. Or buy it if necessary.
Romney and Obama and I would say the vast majority of those in Congress – especially the Ayn Rand supporters like Ron and Rand Paul – came from these very types of backgrounds.
At least when there was a military draft, the experience there gave some of them a chance to develop some maturity, which is so obviously missing these days. That we have been raising so many people like this is especially troubling.
There was a time when this type of behavior was only present in the very well to do. Where from an early age children were taught responsibility and gained maturity through their family interaction and those of their peers. Even for those families that were pretty well off.
But now we have people in high positions with all the maturity of a badly parented 2 year old.



33 Comments

The problem with using such pejoratives and other means of explaining the behaviors of those on the right and a good deal of those on the left is it assumes at least a small amount of emotional maturity.
But I ask you, would you use this way to define the actions of a typical American 5 year old child ?
Essentially what this all means is that those in power right now and those who support them are behaving exactly the way you would expect them to behave given where and how they were raised.
To expect anything else would be silly at best.
The author also brings up a good point about humans prolonged juvenile period. As compared to chimps and other apes.
A double edged sword as it were. That this “forever young” keeps us open to new things and therefore more adaptive to knew situations.
But it also can lead to a generalized regression. To easy to let things slide, even parenting.
So true! Typically a potato chip won’t last more than a minute once the bag is popped open.
I’m not entirely sure how I found this essay (it may have been on this very FDL, if so i apologize to whomever posted it for not remembering) but here’s a piece that perfectly captures the kind of thing you’re talking about, cmaukonen.
How the Ayn Rand-loving right is like a bunch of teenage boys gone crazy
I’d excerpt from it, but it wouldn’t do it justice. It’s really quite brilliant and worth the read.
Oh thank you for that RFShunt. That is so spot on.
And then they come crying back home after they roll the convertible.
HAHAHAHAHA LOL
THANK YOU FOR THIS THREAD!
Oh, HOW many times have I remarked on the arrogant sense of(unearned) entitlement that is so rife in today’s society.
It is my humble opinion that youthfulness has now come to mean immaturity.BTW, they AREN’T the same thing..at all.
Some people are so afraid of growing old, they never get around to growing up.
Ho boy. You got that right. So afraid of growing old they never grow up.
It’s interesting that I have seen the right-wing say all occupiers are ‘spoiled brats’ too. BTW, off topic but does your bicycle icon imply you are a Prisoner fan?
Adulthood in crapitalist society is the channeling of the worst elements of childhood.
Go out and make your killing, young man, for the good of your se
lfed!No wonder we popularized “convalescent” warehousing. Had to keep the regrets bottled up.
Yes it does though I have not watched it in a while.
As for the right wing…projecting maybe ? Only a lot.
Off the top of my head…really.
Who are you ?
The new number two.
Who is number one ?
You are number six.
What do want ?
Information.
Which side are you one.
That would be telling. We want information.
You won’t get it.
By hook or by crook we will.
I am not a number. I am a free man !
I will not make any deals with you. I have resigned.
I will not be pushed, filed, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered.
My life is my own.
As some people here may know, I spent some twenty years of my life doing elder care and hospice care. I practiced this employment in an affluent area of the country. For the first ten years or so, I found it very enjoyable. My elder care clients were, for the most part, people who had lived through the Depression and then spent additional troublesome years involved in WWII. They didn’t expect perfection out of me. They also loved to play games, and do puzzles, and they joked around a lot.
The next ten years were not as enjoyable. Now my clients were people who had come of age in a prosperous America, and they wanted nothing less than perfection. I spent lots of time seeing to it that everything was polished and re-polished. No more fun. No more puzzles, games or jokes. Just rearranging the knick knacks and the items in the home, and making sure that not so much as a piece of lint was on the overly vaccuumed living room rug. The adults I took care of were supervised by their children, who were people in their late forties and early fifties. Mom or dad was expected to be dressed up in Yves Saint Lauren on Wednesday and Armani on Thursday and heaven help both me and the client if we reversed it.
I took a great deal of solace in the book “The Nanny Diaries” which expressed in excellent details much of the “affluenza” I was seeing. (Although the client of the nannies was a small child.) I also tried to do more hospice as people when faced with the Biggest Issue of All tend to focus on more important things than two small pieces of lint on the rug. And oddly (or maybe not so oddly) people surrounded by real problems like pain, illness and death actually laughed more than the walking dead of the overly affluent intent on living their overly perfect lives to the rabid tune of the Piper of Perfection.
And how many knew who called the tune?
interesting take. Recommended.
I have long loathed the existence of people who are (some clever person, Not me coined this term) ‘oblivions’ it basically means they have ZERO self awareness. Another way to look at it is the complete and total opposite of insecurity….these people have total security, they are walking juggernauts; oblivious to logic, reason, peer pressure, common sense, the law….you name it, it doesn’t affect them. It makes these people Extremely difficult to talk to or reason with.
Perfect example; the Teabaglican Rep who proposed a law that imposed extremely high fines on people caught employing undocumented people….except if you hired them for domestic work.
Imagine how impenetrably thick the bubbble is that this woman, and all the other reps who didn’t tell her how ridiculous her idea was must live in.
With that said, I also think she is a racist.
I’m not sure I would put it quite that way. Most of the people I have know who exhibit these traits are very insecure. That this air of “being right” is a hard veneer used to mask it. A defense as it were which they will maintain at all costs to keep from feeling how insecure the really are.
Which is why they have ZERO self awareness. Self awareness requires being vulnerable which the the LAST thing they would want.
I have run into a large number of them.
Well that’s all part of it, isn’t it ?
I never thought of it that way, but that could certainly be the case.
The uninitiate is neither boss nor peon, rather a competitor and competitors don’t get the truth.
I agree completely
!
Do you, by any chance, have a random unintelligible sentence generator?
Of course. You might have caught me using that one time I blasted some asshole.
Are you in need?
I may do a more in depth follow on this subject after doing some more research and reading. More of a historical perspective on it.
I don’t know how “elites”, in general, are raised, though I expect with a considerable amount of expectation of lifelong privilege. However, you mention “conservatives”, and, if you mean the base, you’re way off base wrt the rednecks.
I’ve been listening to Joe Bageant’s “Deer hunting with Jesus”, an interesting, self-described “liberal redneck”. Am 2/3 way through the book, and nothing* about spoiling children or coddling them. Quite the opposite, actually.
The rednecks have their own, unique brand of cultural pathology (Bageant is sympathetic, yet also highly critical), but nothing I’ve heard so far suggests that spoiling children is part of their pathology.
* Well, he talked about one lady who “treated” her children, every Friday, to a dinner of Doritos and soda. I tend to think of this as more a function of nutritional ignorance than pampering.
Oh I agree with you on so called red necks and was not referring to them at all. But they are pandered to and at the same time laughed at by the upper crust.
Yeah, Bageant essentially says the same. Just as I’ve argued that progressives should be driving wedges between Democrat insiders/elites and the Democratic base, they should also be driving wedges between the Republican base, and the Republican insiders/elites, at least in heavy R districts.
Gore Vidal says the very rich generally hold us little people in contempt, IIRC.
But this too can come down to family environment as well. Like that song from South Pacific says, You Got To Be Carefully Taught.
Yup. While the GOP’s opinion tastemakers are Ayn-Randroid elitist Richie Rich types (Rush Hudson Limbaugh III didn’t exactly grow up in the ‘hood), the people they prey upon are most decidedly not.
And to be fair, affluent (or at least aspirational) folks of all persuasions are prone to mistaking indulgence and a refusal to set boundaries for being good parents. One child I know had parents of that mindset; said child was literally allowed to climb onto the dinner table and run around while people were eating there.
There is, however, hope: Even as various magazines and mommyblogs are talking up “attachment parenting” (aka chain mommy to the kid for fifteen years so he’s totally helpless and whiny), a lot of young people are realizing that they have to go back to the old way of rearing kids to be self-sufficient persons and to let them experience limits in the form of a parent’s “no”.
Stereotyping a group to make a point is, I think, always a mistake. Young people are stereotyped more than any other group. Think, ‘adolescent, immature, childish, infantile’ We have quit doing that with other groups women, people of color, etc. we don’t do it much to old people anymore.
Unfortunately kids do not have a lobby. They give up objecting early on.
Lets start treating the young as individuals, it’s not only fair, it’s accurate. Many, many young people have character we are proud of whatever their age. We can help by treating them with respect, as individuals, and not characterizing them with the lowest common denominator. It is very easy to see people behaving badly, it is not so noticable when they are doing well and because we all were once children and many of us are or were parents we are so quick to push them, the young, into a box that most do not deserve.
There are other ways to discuss those we do not agree with, we do not need to use the young as nefarious comparisons.
Oh…did I touch a nerve ? Sorry…
If you are open to discussion, snide is not the best way to begin. However I would be pleased to hear why you think my point is mistaken.
Respect is NOT something one is born with, it’s something that one earns. So far few – if any – on the right have earned respect regardless of their positions.
And a number on the left IMHO have not earned any respect either.
But that is beside the point. The point is as George Carlin has said, “If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re going to get selfish, ignorant leaders.” And families who pander to their kids, continuously treat them special and spoil the rotten will produce people with fats heads, mean attitudes and little real self worth.