US Senate hopeful from Missouri Todd Akin has walked back his comment and apologized for not being more clear. What he actually meant to say is explained in this article titled, I Misspoke—What I Meant To Say Is ‘I Am Dumb As Dog Shit And I Am A Terrible Human Being’.

What he meant to say about legitimate rape is as follows:

It is clear to me now that I did not choose my words with care and did not get across the point I was trying to convey. In hindsight, I guess instead of using the words “legitimate rape,” I should have used the words “I am an unforgivable, unrepentant, and unconscionable subhuman dickhead.” Or better yet, “I am an evil, fucked-up man who should never have been elected to the United States Congress, and anyone who would vote for me is probably a pretty big fucking dumbshit, too.”

His clarification takes the focus off women who have magical chemicals in their bodies to deal with rapes that they secretly enjoyed anyway, and firmly redirects the spotlight onto what an egregious scumbucket Akin is. Since there is often such great and unfortunate misunderstanding about what politicians actually said and what they in reality meant to say, and emphasizing that it is way more important for voters to understand meaning versus the confusing statements uttered, Akin goes to great lengths to clarify his true meaning and intent by further stating:

But if you actually go back and look at the remarks closely, you’ll see that what I was actually trying to convey in my statement was that

(1) I am a big fucking idiot,

(2) I am a nauseating slug of a human being who doesn’t deserve to live, and

(3) I am essentially everything that’s wrong with this country and with humanity in general.

Honestly, that’s all I was trying to get across there. It was a simple misunderstanding, really.

It’s funny, because, in my head, I remember thinking very vividly, “I, Rep. Todd Akin, am a bigoted jackass…

Akin laments that statements made to the press can “come back to haunt you in a hurry.” His clarification and apology will set the record straight so he can proceed with his campaign for a seat in the US Senate. He has decided, however, to keep some of his other beliefs secret, because the statement about legitimate rape and magical female body chemicals was so grossly misunderstood, and it takes precious time and effort to clear things up. He will not be commenting, therefore, on his other beliefs about little green men on the lawn, fairies and goblins, sock demons, one-eyed giant purple people eaters, Martian ray guns and flying noodle monsters with scales.

To prevent anything that can be grossly mistaken like the legitimate rape statement from happening again, Akin goes the extra mile and suggests:

somebody should apply dozens of layers of duct tape to my mouth every morning so that words are not able to exit my large, dumb, misogynist, imbecilic mouth at any point;…

For further reading the article is here.