Socialism
By David Glenn Cox

Socialism

It is an easy enough exercise to point and laugh at the deficiencies of capitalism, but still, always remembering that it is impolite to make fun of cripples and the lame. Socialism has gotten really terrible publicity; most likely from hanging around in some bad neighborhoods. The American idea of socialism is of some dogmatic commissar standing over us as we inventory our underwear, making sure we don’t have too many pairs of drawers. Or, that Socialism is some subversive foreign plot, hatched by enemy agents designed to break down the moral fiber of America, to weaken us, for conquest through either rock and roll or through comic books, video games or both.

If you would want to demonize something in the United States of America, simply tie it together with socialism and before long, you too could raise an angry torch-carrying mob or small army of ministers on phone-trees calling up the faithful to fight back the Red Menace.

Do you want to know what socialism is about? I mean, do you really want to know what socialism is about Charlie Brown? Socialism is a traffic light; it says the traffic stops for three minutes going this way and for three minutes going the other way. It doesn’t care what kind of car you drive or where you live. It divides the usage of the intersection fairly without standing or class. It is really a very simple solution to some very complex problems. Of course to conservatives, I suppose it does carve into that blessed freedom of theirs, which they are always so concerned about.

I imagine to a libertarian traffic lights must appear to be an abomination. Do they lay awake at night wondering, why can’t entrepreneurs and job creators like me, just run those pesky traffic lights? They have places to be and important work to do; while you, you’re just running to the grocery store for milk and Cheetos. Why can’t the rich purchase a sticker from the state which allows them to run traffic signals and stop signs? Think of the revenue a state might earn from a program like that! What, you don’t think that is a good idea? Or do you mean some things are more import than money? Like public safety. Are you coming around to our way of thinking, comrade?