http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/The most expert magic, in the wrong hands, leaves such disaster in its wake that an army of buckets and mops can’t clean it up. Bad magic wielded by callous hands and described by someone with no mojo is just offal. The latter is the recipe that brings us David Brooks’ Liberal Suicide March.

Bobo is Professor Snape without the diction or the inner conflicts that keep him from melting into the dark side. As a dues paying member of the MSM, he routinely equates Republican malfeasance and self-destruction with invented similar behavior by Democrats. Here is a partial translation of today’s installment of Bobo’s special form of wand-wringing:

It’s not that interesting to watch the Democrats lose touch with America. That’s because the plotline is exactly the same. The party is led by insular liberals from big cities and the coasts, who neither understand nor sympathize with moderates. They have their own cherry-picking pollsters, their own media and activist cocoon, their own plans to lavishly spend borrowed money to buy votes.

Insular Liberals
76% of Americans want credible health care reform, including a public option. I suspect more would like to see his co-wizards on Wall Street more firmly regulated. Instead, those wizards are given a bipartisan pat on the wallet and told to go out and play more roughly this time.

Big Cities and the Coasts
If you include the North Coast – Midwestern states bordering the Great Lakes – that would include most of America’s taxpaying public. It excludes the South, where the GOP proliferates like pets let loose in the Everglades.

Their own cherry-picking pollsters, their own media and activist cocoon
Despite Rahm’s best efforts, Karl Rove is still the Man. Rahm is still no match for him or his pet media. He tries to keep Obama in a Rahm-Bubble, but Obama keeps sneaking out and delivering liberal-sounding promises that Rahm and the Blue Dogs don’t like and won’t vote for.

Lavishly spend borrowed money to buy votes
Brooks is looking through his health care industry-colored glasses again. The industry that gave him those is spending a million and a half a day to get the best legislation money can buy. As for the king of spending borrowed money, see George Bush.

Most independents now disapprove of Obama’s health care strategy.
Only if "most Americans" means "David Brooks". Americans’ dissatisfaction with Obama is because he is too timid, too bound to the center line, to champion the health care reforms we desperately need.

We’re only in the early stages of the liberal suicide march
Bobo is projecting the feelings Republicans, who imagine themselves not committing suicide, but on a forced march on Bataan. The Dems would be committing suicide only if they follow David Brooks’ advice.

Every cliché Ann Coulter throws at the Democrats
Anne Coulter is a leggy blond who gave up the law to become a neocon performance artist. It pays better, but she is the cliche.

Machiavelli said a leader should be feared as well as loved.
George Bush was neither. He was disdained. People feared Dick Cheney. He stole Bush’s job and Bush thanked him for it. Soundbites from fifteenth century Italian bureaucrats that come without context, meaning or effective argument are still soundbites.

Lastly, Bobo tells us who the real heroes are in Congress:

That leaves matters in the hands of the Blue Dog Democrats. These brave moderates are trying to restrain the fiscal explosion.

Wrong solution, wrong party, wrong team. Progressives are working hard to pepper the noses of Blue Dogs who are ignoring the needs of their constituents and all Americans in order to line their pockets with industry cash.

I enjoy this gig, but will someone please buy David Brooks a better primer on speaking English as a Second Language.