Thank God for FOX News!
They’ve uncovered another scary plot in our schools. That this one involves an ancient Islamist cult, started by Muhammad ibn Mūsā al-Khwārizmī, when he wrote the revolutionary screed, The Compendious Book on Calculation by Completion and Balancing, sometime in the early ninth Century.
In the succeeding 1,200 years, al-Khwārizmī’s terrorist ideas have infiltrated math, higher math, abstract thinking, logic and concepts of artificial intelligence philosophy. Not to mention hundreds of millions of math students, who lost an accumulation of billions of hours of sleep studying his terrorizing ideas, and went so far as writing billions of numbers and letters (usually, X’s, A’s, B’s and C’s) on their inner forearms or the palms of their hands – sometimes even drawing blood!).
Here’s FOX, exposing the plot – without even naming what it is specifically:
We don’t know how Eric Bolling, of Fox braintrust “The Five,” managed to talk about liberal indoctrination with math without even bothering to note that algebra was invented by A-RABS and is a Mooslem plot. But at least he is on the case of the Marxists at Scholastic teaching the distributive property with a worksheet about distributing the wealth. GO SCHOLASTIC!
Here’s the liberal, uh – Commie, uh – Al Qaeda propaganda Scholastic is, uh, distributing:
Product Description:
Insight into the distributive property as it applies to multiplication is defined and supported with examples. Students complete each multiplication sentence using the distributive property!
What an insidious plot! Thank you, FOX. What would America do without you?
By the way, the comments at the Wonkette article linked to above, at The Raw Story, and at Booman Tribune, are hilarious.
And, here it is. You don’t even have to waterboard me to get the info out of me:
2 × (1 + 3) = (2 × 1) + (2 × 3) but 2 /(1 + 3) is not equal to (2 / 1) + (2 / 3).



27 Comments

You can’t make this stuff up!
Sounds like an Onion article.
Why is FOX starting a war on math? Is this still anger at Nate Silver using math to decipher election polls? I don’t know how you guys watch this stuff. I can in no way hit play on this link. I would think watching too much of this stuff would kill you!
Do we need to replace Al Jabr propaganda with Freedom Formulas?
(Started to type Freedom Formulae but that looked kind furrin)
— goes deeper than that.
FOX has always been an opponent of the reality-based world. They had to be, in order for their business model to work.
That, and that many of their most avid viewers prefer to think inside a worldview that goes back no further than 6.000 years ago.
I’m off to cover Idle No More in Anchorage!
edit: kind of
formulae – I thought that was a kind of flower necklace factory in Hawaii.
I’ve been writing class syllabi this week.
Geez, these followers of Hamid al-Ghazali just never give up!
I’ve never heard of this Eric Bolling. But is he the champion of the stupid on TV now?? I see in the same day Saddam Hussein financed 9/11 and beginning a war on algebra in the same day came forth from him. It’s impressive as I’ve never heard of the guy. Has he been on FOX News a long time??
Next those folks will be wanting a House of Wisdom and a library.
Nate Silver is a Muslim? Another plot exposed . . .
After watching the video, Gavin Newsome’s divorce from Kimberly Guilfoile makes a lot of sense.
Just a bunch of Johnny come lately Ayrabs the Romans got there first and worst.
mfi
And they were all acting under the direction of the infamously, deliciously evil plot-master, Baba Ghanoush!
Far off the beaten track of what I know of your more general and regular musings Edward Teller, but IMHO one of yer best ever . . . the snark runs deep in you, bless yer heart and vital organs.
Highly rcc’d. Loved it. Math kills.
It sure killed me after Algebra 1.
Thank you, Edward Teller, for revealing how deep this agenda goes. Even Faux Nooz failed to note that algebra is a loanword from Arabic. Thank you for your efforts to save us from the creeping menace of Sharia mathematics!
Don’t forget that trigonometry was invented by them dirty commy loving Greeks.
If they don’t like the distributive prpoerty on Fox, they aren’t going to like the students learning about radicals in algebra either. But I bet they’ll LOVE absolute value.
Gotta be suspicious of radicals Emily68, especially dem A-rab types.
Go ol’ American math any day. Fractals man, fractals, by Benoit Mandelbrot at IBM. Put algebra in it’s place sucking hind tit!
USA!USA! /s
It never seems to amaze me ,what my Grandmother used to tell me “Not all Republicans are stupid,but all stupid people are Republicans”
Several days ago, an otherwise fairly well-educated wingnut friend of mind sent over an email containing a column by the clearly deranged wingnut Thomas Sowell which was similarly attacking US public education as being “Communist,” etc. I fired back a note which reminded said individual that the entirety of his education (through PhD) was attained through public institutions.
I ain’t heard nuthin’ back…
From my perspective, the bottom line to the current attack on public education is clearly and obviously financially-motivated; the oligarchs want to dig their greedy little paws into the public education coffers and divert that money to their multifarious enterprises. This shit ain’t exactly brain surgery, yo…
Who needs any of that fancy algebra crap, anyway? All you really need to know is Wall Street Math, wherein the numbers work like this:
Q: What’s 2 + 2?
Q: Well what would you like for it to be?
Actually, Mandelbrot asked the same question in his book “The Fractal Geometry of Nature” where he asks: “How long is the coastline of Britain?” And the answer is almost, almost the same. How long do you want it to be? Not quite that but it is a good read!
This is very wondrous. Thank you, FDL, for frontpaging this, and also for hosting markfromireland’s piece that is its hilarious bookend. I for one needed this, especially as I was never good at algebra. Now I see: my brain rejected terrorism without my even suspecting such was the case!
Caveat escholia publica!
[I probably got that wrong, but who's to know?]
Boy, fox missed an opportunity by not reading the math texts further.
You see they would have gotten to the communist commutative property and could have by-passed this here soshulism thing pronto!
Algebra, algorithm … al Qaeda!! Try to explain that “co-incidence”, terrorcommies.
You know what’s based on Ay-Rab math? Hitler had a name for it: Jewish science.
Washington State is taking the ball and running with it (see commondreams.org) Go Garfield!
This from an essay by Wayne Au:
“Having all of the teachers at a school decide to support a boycott of a high-stakes, standardized test is a rare and beautiful thing…”
And a little child shall lead them.