Adventures in Toasting

I caught JimmyNuggets’ video at HuffPost yesterday, I chuckled, then I went over to reddit to get the real laugh.

The Terrible Toaster

Dontfrown gave the toaster a 2/10 rating, altho some wondered what the two points were for:

• Unevenly cooked
• Blatant disregard for cleanliness
• Doesn’t care for my feelings

2/10 would not toast again.


Apparently one for solutions, NZ_MPS suggested:

Put a plate and a small barrier in front of it and bam, your plate is ready to take away once the toast is done.

AngryCod‘s another one for the bright side and solutions

Are you kidding? Self-plating toast? All you’d need is a stick of butter in the flight path and you’d have a Pee Wee Herman breakfast every morning!

However for myfriendscantknow toast on the floor was the dealbreaker, worse than not having toast at all (apparently dismissing the dog’s interests here).


Another bright-spotter, thesplendor is one to always see the splendor in situations like this, giving it a 10/10:

• Temperature gradient for maximum toast variety
• Throws toast through air to cool it down for you
• Looks like something from the future

10/10 would toast again.


But Fashtas reaction was swift and visceral:

From the pics, looks to be the same model. I throw it out when I caught it throwing the toast about half a meter across the room and into the trash.
I saw “caught” because I had to watch the bloody thing after the first time I came back for my toast and couldn’t find it, I didn’t think of looking in the trash can of course, and it weird as hell coming back to an empty toaster I was SURE I had just put bread into a few minutes earlier

Fashtas again:

I was really one of those.. no.. no I am not going slowly insane, am I, no, no, of course not, there WAS 5 slices of bread left after I put them in the toaster? Right? RIGHT? There’s the knife, and the butter and plate so I WAS planning on toast, toast just doesn’t VANISH does it?

So I watched the damn thing like a HAWK for the next slices.

It make a really nice arc, over half a meter directly into the bin on top of the other two pieces


Now that the holidays are bearing down on us at breakneck speed (how did it ever get to be November 15th?), and your free range turkeys or torfurkeys are ordered, tell us some of your kitchen laughventures.