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In response to Jane’s “What Do You Do When the President Is Just Not Into You?” and reading the comments especially about the dreadful OFA, I posted a typical ask-yourself-if-you’re-in-an-abusive-relationship quiz. Someone suggested a diary, and I got busy refining the questions. For the word partner, substitute President, Senator, Democratic Party (or the other big one), or to get to the real heart of the matter, corporatocracy (appropriate pronouns provided).
So, here we go.
1. Do you feel afraid to speak your mind or ask for something you need?
2. Does your partner make fun of your ideas or opinions?
3. Does your partner try to control every detail in your relationship?
4. Do you often feel guilty and second-guess your choices because of your partner’s negative comments about these choices?
5. Are you afraid of your partner’s temper, feel like you walk on eggshells, and monitor what you say or do around your partner?
6. Do you find yourself making excuses for your partner and justifying his/her/its actions to others?
7. Does your partner lie to get what he/she/it needs?
8. Does your partner use weapons to threaten you or others?
9. Does your partner discount your basic needs?
10. Does your partner criticize your family and friends (or your political allies) and ask you to stop seeing them?
11. Has your partner told you that “it won’t happen again” but it does?
12. Has your partner ignored you in public? Or put you down or insulted you in public?
13. Has your partner abandoned you for long periods of time and then returned when he/she/it needs something from you?
14. Do you feel that you have changed, lost touch with who you are, or become someone else in order to be with your partner?
15. Have your friends or family expressed concern about your relationship and/or your well-being?
16. Does your partner know how to make you feel bad (i.e., what buttons to push)?
17. Does your partner always claim to be right even when the opposite is obvious?
18. Does your partner say that if you try to leave him/her/it, your world will come crashing down?
19. Do you feel like you never get anywhere when you try to communicate?
20. Does your partner take certain topics off the table? Exclude you from decision –making?
21. Do you have reason to believe your partner may spy on you or in other ways interfere with your privacy?
22. Does your partner always have an excuse for his/her/its behavior?
If you answered “yes” to three or more questions, you are experiencing signs of relationship abuse. And what should people do when they find themselves in abusive relationships?
31 Comments
Made me laugh.
Oligarchy For America.
A meme-worthy analogy — hope it spreads far — and a welcome alternative to the shopworn “thrown under the bus” construction.
Loved the post & adore the diary. It’s so revealing that this applies … but is sure does. Only 3 YESs?? We are in such trouble, my dears ….
How about: Does your partner’s actions routinely result in the deaths of thousands of innocent people across the world, despite winning a shiny medal that says they love peace?
Yes, that’s what I thought, too.
Only 3?!
Excellent post!
We’ve been divorced for a while now. Still looking for a new companion.
Excellent diary. My bruises are beginning to show.
*heh* The question is, should I get a divorce or try relationship counseling?
Yeah, I have to wear sunglasses in public.
Oop. That was for twain.
I’m laughing and crying at the same time!
Rec’d!
Well done. As for the OFA, I completely ignored them last time as I will this time, too.
Ah, just take some psychoactive antidepressants and vote for me, you retard!! Besides, that other guy/gal is even worse than me!!
The Democratic Party has turned into my ex-wife.
Divorce
Metaphorically speaking
They like their low life druggie friends better than you / us
Does your partner tell you to give him five bucks and he might let you have some dinner?
Fun, entendre, but too true. ;o)
Does your partner swear that he cares for you and then pal around with people who are stealing your personal assets?
Does your partner have you do all his personal typing, envelope stuffing, meeting-and-greeting…..and then have his minion call you a fucking retard?
Does your partner tell you he adores the kids you have together….and then go give his money to the kids of his ‘real’ friends? (Agh…..you can tell I’ve been there! entendre, I don’t know if I should thank you for the recollections or slap you upside the head! :/~ )
Relieved to be out of arms’ length, just in case you choose the second option, and pleased to add your “does your partner” to the list, along with all the other “witnesses.” I’ve been there too (gave up my job to be there, in fact). Working on getting my self-respect back now.
After years away , I was stupid enough to go back. Not again.
Hey, entendre, I think all of us who voted for Obama are still trying to get our self-respect back, too. Carry on … you’ll do fine. I enjoyed this post. (Does that make me an enabler?)
I’ve read your comment several times, and I’ve laughed. Because, well, the Republican Party IS my ex-husband through and through. As crazy and disorganized and stupid as the Dems are, they still haven’t done as much harm as the R’s. And I’m not even a Dem.
Does your partner stink?
Most people will do just as most abused wives do. They’ll knuckle under and come home because they have nowhere else to go and the alternatives are worse and last but not least maybe if there “good” he’ll change. Fat chance suckers.
Thus I have called Obama Enabler in Chief.
Does your partner make you long to see the expression on his face when his new friends tell him he’s fired?
It happens to men too.
OFA = Obama Failing America
My father was a beater. For real.
My mother threw him out (with the assistance of her brother, my uncle) My mother raised 5 boys alone, in a Catholic housing project in northern Ireland. My mother did it. She also taught me my politics.
My mother will remain my hero till the day I die.
Ma RIP.
You can leave your abuser. Or suffer from BPDS
Battered Progressive Democrat Syndrome. Sure the money is better and all but you loose all dignity and self respect.
Ask Michael Moore and Van Jones.