Here in the EPU we’ve received an advance copy of Preznit Chimpy’s speech to the nation tonite*

"My fellow Americans, our country is in the midst of a great crises, caused by an emeny (sic) that does not share our values, that seeks to destroy our way of life.That is why today, by Executive Order, I have designated the Econemy (sic) as a terrorist organiztion, as a card carrying member of the Axis of Evil. Econemy’s attacks on our financial markets and banks have been sinister, and the brave actions of the Federal Reserve and Treasury to fight this enemy in the shadows have not been as effective as I would like. Thus, I have asked General Petraeus to plan and lead a surge against the Econemy (sic), whereever it is found, without regard to national sovereignity, and the financial markets and banks in which it hides, using cowardly instruments of destruction like Improvided Economic Devices (IEDs)** against our brave free marketers armed only in casual dress and Blackberries.

Our evidence that the Econemy is a terrorist organization is strong, though in the interest of National security and the fact that Colin Powell is no longer around, we cannot make that information public at this time. But I will point out that you cannot spell Econemy (sic) without E.N.E.M.Y. Al’ Q.E.D.’a, heh!^

I know the will of the American people is strong, and together, we will defeat the Econemy and bring prosperity back to this great Nation. We will not let my supporters my friends bankers my enablers terrists, destroy our way of life.God bless the United States of America. Thank you."

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* If he’s already spoken, it’s still omniscient. Trust me.** That isn’t original, so whoever came up with the Improvised Economic Devices idea, kudos to you my friend.***I could have gone and gotten an actual Chimpy speech and simply put in Economy where needed, but that would have required more work than I am willing to do. ^ Added after. I had too.