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Life is much easier when other people have already done the work for you, and I can simply quote them.*
"It comes from a very ancient democracy, you see…."
"You mean, it comes from a world of lizards?"
"No," said Ford, who by this time was a little more rational and coherent than he had been, having finally had the coffee forced down him, "nothing so simple. Nothing anything like so straightforward. On its world, the people are people. The leaders are lizards. The people hate the lizards and the lizards rule the people."
"Odd," said Arthur, "I though you said it was a democracy."
"I did," said Ford. "It is.""So," said Arthur, hoping he wasn’t sounding ridiculously obtuse, "why don’t the people get rid of the lizards?"
"It honestly doesn’t occur to them," said Ford. "They’ve all got the vote, so they all pretty much assume that the government they’ve voted in more or less approximates the government they want."
"You mean they actually vote for the lizards?"**
"Oh yes," said Ford with a shrug, "of course.""But," said Arthur, going for the big one again, "why?"
"Because if they didn’t vote for a lizard," said Ford, "the wrong lizard might get in…."
The Ultimate Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams, pp. 596-597.
So, to sum up, "Our lizards are better than their lizards."***
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* Which also allows for use of myriad footnotes, which ad a scholarly feel if not actual erudition to my posts, but since we’re ruled by lizards, chances are that scholarly feel is as good as erudition.
**Italics are still banned in the EPU b/c they lean to the right, not the left, but out of courtesy to the author, special dispensation was granted for their use in this post.
*** And they are ALL lizards. "How can that be, EPU?" Because anyone who isn’t a lizard wouldn’t want to be a politician. Lizards are the most narcissistic creatures on the planet – all that preening in the Sun being just one example of their insatiable love of self – the calling of politics comes naturally, as does the lizard’s unfailing belief in his own lizardian unfailability. Have you ever heard a lizard or a politician apologize? Be introspective? I don’t think so.
**** This is a footnote footnoting nothing, other than to answer the question "but what about the politicians we ‘like,’ are they lizards too?" They are. Coming next week – a new series – The Villager, taken from the television series "The Saint" (and with major props to the Monty Python skit "It’s the Bishop, get’im Devious"), in which each week The Villager saves teh Village from unserious masses. Tune in!!!@@#!@#~!!!!
13 Comments
Don’t panic.
So long, and thanks for all the fish.
ah, EPU
you need to footnote those footnotes-or at least give some endnotes that explain that these are not night of the iguana lizards but some other kind.
and recipes, i demand recipes
roast iguana, yum!
and no, eva, it’s not all that greasy
don’t let anyone say that epu is not omniscient
J – You should do a recipes diary. I’ll add in when i can.
But here is my favorite, which you already know -
2 or 3 (or more) bulbs of garlic
1 Can anchovies (you can buy the more expensive kind in a jar if you want, but I wouldn’t waste the money)
2 Lemons
1 egg yolk (if you want a thicker dressing (i.e. a real emulsion, add another egg yolk or two)
1 Liter of Olive Oil (regular, not virgin – using virgin would be a waste of money IMnotHO, since with all the other flavors you’re not gonna notice virgin vs. regular)
Grated Parmasan Cheese (not sliced, not shredded, GRATED!)
Put egg yolk(s), anchovies, garlic (peeled, since I know someone was gonna ask about that) and the juice of both lemons into a blender. Blend – well, till it is all pureed. (Make sure it is well pureed, you don’t want any bones from the anchovies surviving).
Drizzle in 1 liter of olive oil with the blender running. If the dressing becomes too thick, stop the blender and break the airpocket that has formed. Continue till you’ve added all the olive oil.
Et voila. The best caeser dressing you’ll ever have.
To make a salad itself, use Romaine lettuce, add the dressing (well shaken), and add a good amount of the grated parmasan, and toss well.
I’m not a crouton fan, but if you insist, you can add them (buy them in a store, I’m not giving a recipe for them).
The caesar dressing has many uses beyond salads. If you cook it, it can be used on a baked potato, or a wide variety of meats, particularly pork chops. But if you use it other than as a salad dressing, you need to cook it till it starts turning a little golden brownish.
In EPU, is there a religious tome with passages about a lamb lying down with the lizard?
Or was that something from the footnotes to the recipes diary…
No. Though there are references to a lamb lying dead and bloody on Broadway for some reason.
I’m not sure if iguana know more or not.
(Music reference – The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway – awful music by one of the suckiest bands of all time – Genesis)
Friendly wave “Hello” from the Gorillic Universe to the EPU. Multiversity is a strange and wondrous thing, not so?
Nice to see you back and posting.
mfi
Mark – Your universe seems to be undergoing repair – is Slartibartfast’s company doing the work? (it was too obvious not to post)
Hey, THIS is the evil parallel universe – we are supposed to be in the Gore Prez Parallel Univserse. What happened?