Russian foreign minister Sergei Lavrov commenting on the current government in Syria:

They are committed to a pluralistic Syria, to a Syria in which every minority has minority rights protected, that includes all of minorities in which everybody will have an ability to be able to make choices for the future.

It is a vision that rejects terrorism and rejects extremism. It is a vision that is pledged to never use chemical weapons. It is a vision that is committed to a political solution.

Whoops, no, that was actually U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry, commenting on the Al-Nusra Front-dominated Syrian rebels. Un.be.lievable. (Instead of hallucinating, Lavrov is doing dumb stuff like encouraging ceasefire and dialogue with Syria rather than civil war and regime change.)

It gets stranger, of course.

Yes, I admit I appreciate the timing of the Chechen mercenaries in Syria. “Just for kicks, let’s kidnap some Christian archbishops at the same time as Chechen-immigrant-generated hell in Boston. How can the Western media ignore us?” Well, they can and they did guys cuz of course obedience to the moneyed narrative is the Western media careerist’s prime directive. Thanks for only killing their driver and not the bishops though.

In separate weirdness, National Journal polled its ‘National Security Insiders’, who seem like a very bright group just kidding. 60% of them now support U.S. military action to support the largely fundamentalist rebellion. (This contrasts with the most recent poll (why it was a such a suspiciously long time ago I don’t know) of the rest of us, non-insiders, in which 65% of us “oppose the U.S. and its allies sending arms and military supplies to anti-government groups in Syria.”)

Anyway, here’s one of those Insider geniuses: “The most important issue is to prevent al-Qaida from creating a safe haven in Syria. We cannot do that unless we are in the arena.” Hey, Mr. Insider, just saying but there is another SLIGHTLY easier way to prevent al-Qaida from creating a safe haven in Syria: Stop massively supporting the opposition. The rebellion would be over in days and Syria would go back to being a non-Al-Qaida country. Thanks you can bill me later.

P.S. – For the horrific and not at all funny facts on Syria, read Obama’s Syrian Horror, by Saul Landau. Excerpt:

The New York Times revealed Obama’s lies about the U.S. role in this war … The CIA has funneled and distributed large weapons shipments to the rebels – more than 3,500 tons worth to date – from Jordan and Turkey, while Obama claimed it as “non-lethal” military aid. (C. J.Chivers and Eic Schmitt, NY Times March 24, 2013)

“The C.I.A. role in facilitating the [weapons] shipments… gave the United States a degree of influence over the process [of weapon distribution]…American officials have confirmed that senior White House officials were regularly briefed on the [weapons] shipments.”

Obama supervised arms supplies to the Al Nusra Front, the Syrian rebels’ most effective fighting force, with links to Islamic terrorist groups.

Witnesses in northwest Syria testify that some rebels have used those weapons to slaughter Alawite and Christian villages.

Obama’s opposition to peace talks with the Assad government, from which he demands surrender, raises a question. Why demand as a “precondition” for negotiations the ouster of Syria’s government?

Decent rhetorical question, but the answer is easy: the U.S. goal is the ouster of Syria’s government (probably for two reasons: 1., Israel (maybe irrationally) wants/demands it; 2., it’s what the West’s corporate globalist imperialism does.)