The Obamas receive unexpected guests from a White House tour...

Thanksgiving is over, but that isn’t the end of the turkeys. Time now for the turkey sandwiches, turkey soup, turkey croquettes and the Secret Turkey Service. Ooops, what’s that? As everyone has heard by now, since it’s been the only entertaining thing in the news all weekend, two Virginia socialites, Michele and Tareq Salahi, snuck into last Tuesday night’s state dinner at the Obama’s for the Prime Minister of India. President Obama, who like all executives, has no idea who has been invited to these things, has been seen in a photograph chatting up the rather pretty Mrs. Salahi, and having grip-and-grin moments with both. Quite a number of people were photographed with the charming Mrs. Salahi–including Joe Biden, with his arm around her and a spit-eating grin (remember what the Vice-Presidency didn’t use to be worth–spit wasn’t the word in that either) from one red earlobe to the next.

Now, the Salahi’s, who are trying to get on "The Real Housewives of DC", claim that they were invited and according to their lawyer had been cleared by the White House. Which of course is very strange since neither of their names appeared on the official guest list nor the Secret Service printout of attendees. They seem to have just wandered on down to Pennsylvania Avenue…drove through the gates and PARKED…and went on in without anybody noticing that they weren’t supposed to be there. It seems new procedures at the White House don’t include checking the guest list as people arrive–a stark contrast to the Bush White House, where everyone was not only checked and photographed, but were passed through a metal detector and X-ray machine and had their shoes inspected. And that was when Cheney WASN’T there!

Now this is all great fun–except for the Secret Service, which has been making noises about charging the Salahi’s with something, as soon as they can make up a charge that doesn’t make them look like idiots–and except for White House social secretary Desiree Rogers who was observed the next day mailing out a stack of resumes. Former Bush social secretary Cathy Hargraves said this would never have happened on HER watch, several Senators and Congressmen have been grandstanding about pressing charges and opening an extensive investigation into the social office’s procedures. I’m thinking there should be some kind of inquiry, but what I am wondering about is how the Secret Service didn’t insist on vetting every visitor to the White House in a time when threats against the President are 400% higher than against every other President of recent years. You’d think somebody might have suggested verifying guests against the guest list. I guess nobody thought that a man wearing a tuxedo or a woman wearing a gown could ever be carrying a concealed weapon–I guess nobody in the Secret Service has ever watched a James Bond movie either. It’s the dress for success look. Right now, Osama bin Laden is funneling moneys to terrorist cells to get their members tailor-made suits–best way to get past security!

Right now, the Salahi’s are asking half a million dollars for their exclusive story. Half a million? Pikers! If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s a cut-rate parasite. Hell, if I’d known about this situation sooner, I’d have been down to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue MONTHS ago and you can believe I’d be asking for a million!

And legal expenses.

Greg Uchrin is a satirist, cartoonist and professional cynic in Alexandria VA. This diary is cross-posted to his blog Intravenous Caffeine, the post-Bush era successor to HAIL DUBYUS!