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Drone Wars Theme Song–The Road to Dystopia!

7:13 am in Uncategorized by GregoriusU

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  • With apologies to Bob and Bing…
  • Okay, guys, time to prove just HOW OLD I AM again:

    THE ROAD TO DYSTOPIA
    To the tune of “The Road to Morocco”. Dystopia is pronounced Dis-TOPE-ya for the purposes of the song.
    For those of you who are too young to have ever heard it, watch this Youtube video to get the tune:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_w3UG6C_Mo

    We’re off on the Road to Dystopia!
    Pushbuttons do not hurt our spines!
    Where they’re goin’, where we’re goin’, how can we be sure?
    Just keep on believing that our motives aren’t impure!

    We’re off on the Road to Dystopia!
    Watch out! There’s no end to the line!
    I hear our target’s where they do the dance of the seven veils,
    They won’t be doing it too long with rockets on their tails!

    We certainly do get around!
    Like endless wars in Orwell,
    We’re Dystopia Bound!

    We’re off on the Road to Dystopia!
    Look out! Well, clear the way, ‘cuz HERE WE COME!
    As long as they’re shot over there, we haven’t any cares!
    We hope our next-door neighbors don’t say five-fold daily prayers!

    We’re off on the Road to Dystopia!
    Thinking just makes us go numb!
    They told us they would never shoot them off on US soil.
    Our government would never sell us second-rate SNAKE OIL!

    We certainly do get around!
    Like a Jimmy Cameron movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, we’re Dystopia Bound.
    Or a comic book by Alan Moore that’s made into a superbudget movie that gets everybody wearing Guy Fawkes masks,
    WE’RE DYSTOPIA BOUND!

    No cartoon next Monday because *drumroll* this coming weekend I will be in Artist Alley at Katsucon 19, at the Gaylord in National Harbor, MD, so if you’re there, stop by and say hi–and perhaps buy a signed print or two. For those of you who CAN’T make it, go over to my Facebook fanpage and click on the LIKE button to get updates on this blog and on my other art that’s available at the conventions.

    See you then. Intravenous Caffeine will be back in two weeks.

    YESYESYES–I admit it–I was lipsyncing!!!
    __________
    Greg Uchrin is a satirist, cartoonist and professional cynic in Alexandria VA. This diary is cross-posted to his blog Intravenous Caffeine, the post-Bush era successor to HAIL DUBYUS.

    Next–Debtor Prisons for Christmas?

    6:18 am in Uncategorized by GregoriusU

    111031-tax-the-poor-say-the-rich

    Normally, I’d devote today’s cartoon to a Hallowe’en theme, but frankly, I’m not in the mood. I’ve just had another disastrous car repair bill–on top of more bills, bills, bills than you can shake a stick at. The car’s still at the shop–so I haven’t bought a pumpkin to carve. And yesterday, I managed to lose $50 … in the HOUSE. For the next 12 hours, I couldn’t find it and when I did, it was sitting right out in the open on the bed, where it was conveniently camouflaged by matching the colors on the bedspread. So instead, that gave me plenty of time to read about the latest Republican IDIOCY that they’re hoping will make sense to the yahoos.

    The 53%. Ahhh, catchy name! That should make everyone forget about the 99%ers all right. Seems they now want everyone to get mad at all those people who don’t pay ANY income taxes. No, not the huge corporations and multi-billionaires who get REBATES from the government. They want you to get mad at the people who don’t pay any taxes BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE A JOB! Or who have one that pays just enough to make KETCHUP PACKET SOUP! How unfair! The Freeloaders! Make them pony up! Yes, sir! That will solve our deficit problem! This latest piece of lunacy is right up there with “Cutting Taxes Raises Revenues” and “Cutting Spending Creates Jobs.”

    Now, please, I’m not blaming the 1% for not paying enough taxes. They’re paying what we tell them to. And a lot of the 1 percenters know damn well they’re not being taxed enough and ought to be asked to contribute more. But we’re not going to do it, not as long as there is an obstructing minority who believe that Scrooge’s ideas of how to treat the poor in the first few pages of A Christmas Carol are a F@#$%^& GOOD IDEA! Debtor Prisons! Workhouses for the Destitute! Let’s grind them down with our heels because they deserve it for not having the gumption to inherit their money like we did! Read the rest of this entry →

    WikiLeaking All over Secrecy (Shhhh, Be Vewwy Quiet, We’we Hunting Wabbits!)

    7:50 am in Uncategorized by GregoriusU

    101206-julian-assange-wikileaks

    This will be my last cartoon for 2010–I will start up again on January 17, although I’ll probably post an off-schedule Christmas cartoon. I’ll be devoting my time to completing a parody manga that I will announce in these pages when it is ready for public consumption!

    My final entry is devoted to Julian Assange, who is currently running for “Vilest Man in Both Hemispheres.” Governments, newspapers, cable news networks and people with bigger mouths than brains have been calling for his assassination. A few others have been defending him on journalistic grounds, but make no mistake. Julian Assange is not a journalist.

    No, journalism abrogated its investigative function, at least in the free press of these United States, beginning sometime back in the 90s when they became cheerleaders in the relentless fight to try to prove Bill Clinton guilty of SOMETHING and completing the task in the 00′s when they became stenographers whose only task was to report what the gummint said, without checking to see if it was even remotely factual or not. THAT task they left to Jon Stewart and Bill Maher and a handful of treasonous, i.e., “liberal” blogs.

    NASA just made a big brouhaha out of discovering a bacterium that lives on arsenic. Therefore, it should come as no shock when any vacuum formed by an ecological void becomes filled by some odd form of life. And that’s Julian Assange for you! Assange is not a journalist, even in the old, pre-stenographic age. He’s something else, a rogue data-miner whose purpose is to give a public platform to whistleblowers of all stripes. Just look at the Wikipedia “Wikileaks” entry and you will quickly discover that the United States of America is not the only target of the leaks published by Assange and his co-workers. In fact, Assange had been rewarded by the Index on Censorship and Amnesty International for his work in bringing to light crimes and other misdeeds.

    But that was up until he started “attacking” Big Dog. It was all right as long as he was merely publicizing the wrongs of third world countries that no one (with the possible exception of their residents) really cared about. But NOW, after revealing that our wars-for-profit in Iraq and Afghanistan are as misguided as they are cruel, NOW that he revealed that our diplomats are willing to mumble in private that Berlusconi farts in public and that Prince Charles is a well-meaning featherhead, everyone is up in arms, demanding he be hanged, drawn-and-quartered, or at least be incarcerated in Sweden for having sex without a condom.

    Not surprisingly, JOURNALISTS are leading the fray with incendiary editorials calling him a traitor (ummmm–he ain’t a US citizen), spy, rapist, everything short of child molester. Why? Because he points out their sins of omission. Because he shows how much they are controlled not just by governments but by the corporations that own their souls. But Assange is not a journalist. A journalist’s job is to sift through the data to find the truth and publicize it. No, Assange is a shamus, the guy who finds the data, the sexton who cleans out the synagogue. And like most fictional shamuses, he’s going to be roughed up in the process to show he’s getting closer and closer to the truth.

    And like his fictional counterparts, Assange is the detective who will “shame us” by showing us just what has been painted over instead of cleaned.

    (Since I sometimes need footnotes, the rhyme in the cartoon is a take-off on the Guy Fawkes chant, appropriated by the mask-wearing “terrorist” in “V for Vendetta”, another so-called anarchist whose goal is to bring down corrupt government.)

    ___________

    Greg Uchrin is a satirist, cartoonist and professional cynic in Alexandria VA. This diary is cross-posted to his blog Intravenous Caffeine, the post-Bush era successor to HAIL DUBYUS!