Well, Hardy-Har-Har-Har, Newt… Newt Kramden in The HoneyDippers!

6:59 am in Uncategorized by GregoriusU

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Newt was a bit upset the other week when they disallowed audience participation at the 891st Republican Cattle Call. After all, Newt’s something of a comedian–how to you expect him to time his material when the audience can’t yell out their approval and create standing ovations for such time-tested material as: “No.” Or “Nnnnnnnnno.” Or “Noooooooooo.”
Seriously, I thought Newt’s idea of sending us to the moon when over 15 percent of Americans are living under the poverty level is hysterical. To the Moon! Our 51st State! Take THAT, Washington DC! (Too many black people there, I guess, but Newt didn’t address that issue–THIS time.)
Ah, well, it took Wolf Blitzer to stand his ground to Newt. Actually I think Wolf just misunderstood his own question. Badum-TISH!
Newt–would you like to tell us how you made your money? No. Newt would you like to comment on your ex-wife’s statement? No. Hardy-Har-Har-Har! He even got to turn that around into an applause line skewering the “Media”. If there’s one thing Republicans on camera like to criticize, it’s the media! Must be their ironic sensibility.
On the other hand, we finally found out who else was there when Newt “didn’t ask his wife for a No-Pen marriage (don’t fence me in!)” NO one. Seems his kids were simply character witnesses. And Newt’s historian duties with Freddie Mac? Another No Show.
Hey, at least Newt’s responses got applause–from Sarah Palin. And an endorsement from Herman Cain! Now if that doesn’t prove he’s a comedian, I can think of NO other thing that will.
Hey, isn’t it about time Ron Paul took the Not-Mitt booby prize?
No?

Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, nominate me!

Fill my heart with song
Let me sing for ever more
I am all I long for
All I worship and adore
So unlike me, please be true
And please believe
I love you.

Greg Uchrin is a satirist, cartoonist and professional cynic in Alexandria VA. This diary is cross-posted to his blog Intravenous Caffeine, the post-Bush era successor to HAIL DUBYUS.