5000 Years

5000 Years

Wayne LaPierre . . .

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun, is a good guy with a gun.

Yeah.  That’s worked out really well. Only 160,000,000 people have been slaughtered in 20th century wars.   Thank God the good guys had guns,otherwise a lot of people might have gotten hurt.

Peace through Strength.

Works every time.

LaPierre is many things, but an original thinker isn’t one of them. He’s simply echoing what other profound thinkers have said ever since 3000 BCE, when Pharaoh Narmer proclaimed, “The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a spear, is a good guy with a spear.”   This sage advice has been updated for the benefit of each generation as new ways to kill people have been discovered . . .

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a crossbow, is a good guy with a crossbow.

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a cannon, is a good guy with a cannon.

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with an atomic bomb, is a good guy with an atomic bomb.

Thanks to the wisdom inherent in this conservative doctrine of peace through strength and the equally inherent goodness of good guys like Ramses II, Xerxes, Alexander, Augustus, Suleiman the Magnificent, Phillip II, Louis XIV, and that holy host of consistently good kings, kaisers, tsars, emperors, prime ministers and presidents who emulated them so well, and strongly demonstrated the virtues of strength and strongness, the value of this doctrine has been fully verified.  Thanks to goodness and strength and the Wayne LaPiere’s in every land who shared their wisdom with the world, only two-billion people have been killed in wars since 3000 BCE.

This successful strategy of peaceful peace through strong strength has not only provided humanity with the blessing of 5,000 years of safety and tranquility, it has also worked very well within societies.  As LaPierre keeps patiently explaining to us, the ready availability of weapons makes everyone safer.  For example, because Americans have 300,000,000 guns, they are only 20 times more likely to be killed by a gun than people in other developed countries.

America’s Christian heritage obviously deserves much of the credit for the shining example we’ve set for the rest of the world. We not only honor the Son of God every year by leading the world in violent homicides, we spend $1.5 trillion a year on weaponry and sell $70 billion worth of weapons to other countries.

Although conservatives may accuse me of rushing to judgment after only 5,000 years of evidence that there just might be a slight connection between too many weapons and too many dead people, that connection is as obvious as it is deadly.  So I’m getting a little tired of “conservative Christians” and gun lovers and those trigger-happy hypocrites they keep electing to Congress lecturing everyone about their devotion to the sanctity of life.

That Second Amendment they’re so fond of has too much innocent blood on it, those job creating capitalists they’re so proud of have started too many wars, that flag they’re so eager to pledge allegiance to has been stained too many times by their idiocy and self-righteousness.  They need to quit waving their Bible in everyone’s face and start reading it, they might learn something.

A long time passing, a long time ago, that Savior they say they believe in was tortured and executed because he spoke truth to power, because he defended the poor against the rich, because he taught that those who live by the sword shall die by the sword.   He didn’t praise the conservative establishment of his day, he condemned it, so they killed him.

Sage Publications records two-billion killed since 3000 BCE.

Make that two-billion and one.

We’ve given “strength” a try for 5,000 years, we’ve given spears and swords and guns a try for 50 centuries, it’s time to start giving love a try, those flag-waving “good guys”  have shot and killed and buried enough people.  It’s time to remember the past so we don’t keep repeating it, it’s time to put the weapons away and take the high road the rest of the way, it’s time to sing the songs of peace so loud they’ll be heard from the Potomac to the Nile, from the Volga to the Jordan, from the Yangtze to the Marne, so everyone finally understands what it means to be human, so our violent history can be transformed into a river of atonement and remembrance, so not one fragile soul torn from this world by violence will ever be forgotten . . .


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