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Ukraine, Negroponte & Missiles — Oh My!

By: Jane Stillwater Wednesday July 23, 2014 7:59 pm

Poor Ukraine just can’t seem to catch a break. Its ancient history reads like a whole patchwork quilt of disaster stories and its modern history gets even worse. First there was that insanely terrible Ukraine famine of 1932-33, artificially manufactured by Joseph Stalin in order to forestall a revolt. And in just those two short years, 25,000 Ukrainians a day died of starvation — until more than 10 million people were dead.

A postcard of a Ukrainian train station

Ukraine has suffered from strife from its days in the Russian empire.

Then Hitler’s Nazis killed 150,000 Jewish Ukrainians at Babi Yar and used eastern Ukraine as a bloody staging area for the siege of Stalingrad. 3.5 million Soviet soldiers died in Nazi prison camps during World War II and many of those soldiers were local boys. Ultimately, more than five million Ukrainians died fighting Nazi Germany and most of Ukraine’s 1.5 million Jews were wiped out. Poor Ukraine!

Then Chernobyl blew up. Then there was a series of corruption scandals, assassinations, price de-regulations, worker strikes, coal mine explosions and a 3.5 billion deficit to deal with during the 1990s, and the new Ukraine republic was destabilized to the point where its major exports became online porn, mail-order brides and Mafioso types running protection rackets in Sacramento.

Then there was that famous CIA-backed “Orange Revolution” in 2004, yet another total disaster — followed this year by Kiev’s famous beer hall putsch.

Geez Louise, why can’t our CIA ever come up with a plan that Americans can be proud of?

The 2014 neo-Nazi putsch in Kiev, the various resultant slaughters of Resistance fighters in eastern Ukraine and the recent shooting down of Malaysia’s MH17 all seem to have one thing in common: Like any other CIA-backed “nation-building” operation throughout the known world, they are all sort of shadowy, shady and hard to define. However, I am certainly going to try to define them.

To try to understand the pattern of what just happened in Ukraine, you first gotta to go all the way back to Central America during Ronald Reagan’s reign and climb into the mind of John Negroponte — a one-trick-pony kind of guy whose major contribution to America’s international diplomatic policy was the judicious use of snipers and other Trojan-horse-style agitators to initiate various casus-belli false-flag operations.

And since that time when all Hell was unleashed on Central America thanks to John Negroponte (and we still have all those kids at our borders to prove it too), wherever there has been any kind of protests against CIA policy throughout the world, our John’s dead-eye sniper dudes would show up on the sly, take out a few key people on both sides and then just sit back and watch the fun as both sides began to tear each other apart. Negroponte’s signature handiwork soon became available in Iraq, for instance, happily starting wars between Sunnis and Shias.

And even before Iraq received the benefit of Negroponte’s ingenious full monty, there was also the bloody aftermath of 9-11 — wherein some crazy Saudi dudes blew up the Twin Towers and Negroponte’s homeys then blamed it on Afghanistan. And we taxpayers are still paying for that one.

And wasn’t Negrgoponte’s can’t-fail modus operandi also employed in Syria too? And Scotland? And Gaza? But I digress.

It’s almost 100% certain that Negroponte’s brain-children were also at play during the Ukraine protests in Maidan Square last winter too, when both police and protestors were shot at by snipers. And the result? Kiev’s very own beer-hall putsch and seizure of the government by pro-CIA thugs. Poor Ukraine.

The breadbasket of eastern Europe and a jewel in anybody’s crown is now once again wracked by war and killing and death. And the Odessa Steps run red with blood. Again.

“So get to your point, Jane.”

What am I really trying to say here? That perhaps Negroponte and his ballistic-favoring minions have now taken his sniper-attack method of starting conflicts to a whole new level — and are now using long-range missiles instead of long-range rifles to get the dance started? And thus shooting down the Malaysia airline and blaming it on Russia or Ukrainian Resistance fighters is an idea that he and/or his CIA buddies would definitely come up with? Just saying.


Bibi Netanyahu, Palestine’s Next King Herod?

By: Jane Stillwater Monday July 21, 2014 11:46 am
Portrait of biblical Herod

“Has Netanyahu killed more babies than Herod?”

How can I say this politely? Not really sure, but here goes. Bibi Netanyahu certainly has killed a whole bunch of children in Palestine lately. Does that remind you of anything that happened in the Bible, in this same Palestine, except years ago?

When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old or under.

Does Matthew 2:16-18 come to mind?<

How many kids has Netanyahu killed in Palestine over these past five years? I have no idea. Has he killed more babies than Herod? Is this some sort of competition to see how many mothers’ tears can be shed? It certainly looks like it.

“A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more.” Has Netanyahu outdone even Herod? We may never know, but from the latest reports on NBC and CNN, it looks like Bibi has won this competition for sure!

“But, Jane,” you might say, “Bibi Netanyahu has such a strong advantage. Herod didn’t have access to Patriot missiles or whatever those phallic-looking ICBM thingies that Bibi has.” All too true.

According to the Global Security Netwire, “Israel manufactures and deploys technologically sophisticated and diverse ballistic missile, cruise missile, and missile defense systems. Several overarching themes characterize Israel’s missile program. First, Israel’s strategy of maintaining a ‘qualitative military edge’ over potential adversaries motivated the country to rapidly develop one of the region’s [and the entire world's] most capable missile production infrastructures, and to deploy the region’s [and the world's] most advanced missile systems.”

And with American taxpayers paying for all these hot new baby-killers, Netanyahu is sure to have the edge. Roman-era swords simply can’t compete with all that. Old Herod had better step up his game!

And Hamas’s funky short-range bottle-rockets also suck eggs. They haven’t even killed not even one child. But then Hamas isn’t out to kill kids like King Herod was — or like Bibi.

But actually, my money is on Netanyahu for winning the baby-killing contest right now. Back in Herod’s day, Jesus, Joseph and Mary were able to escape off to Egypt — but now even the Rafah crossing is closed. For Bibi right now, “slaughtering innocents” is like shooting fish in a barrel. If you are a child in Gaza today, you are trapped — and it’s not a matter of if you are going to die but when. I’d say that Bibi definitely has the edge.

To quote Seumas Milne in the Guardian,

For the third time in five years, the world’s fourth largest military power has launched a full-scale armed onslaught on one of its most deprived and overcrowded territories. Since Israel’s bombardment of the Gaza Strip began, just over a week ago, more than 200 Palestinians have been killed.  Nearly 80% of the dead are civilians, over 20% of them children….  The idea that Israel is defending itself against unprovoked attacks from outside its borders is an absurdity.

Yet how come Herod is considered a vile and cowardly villain for killing so many babies, yet Netanyahu is considered a hero for doing the exact same thing? I truly do not understand.

Screw That Middle East Nightmare, I’m Off to The Mall!

By: Jane Stillwater Thursday July 17, 2014 1:23 pm
An empty mall food court

There’s comfort in capitalism … if you can afford it.

All of that screaming and pain pouring out of the mutilated throats of murdered children in the Middle East that I constantly hear in my nightmares has finally gotten too much for me. Can’t stand it any more! So now I’m going to do what every other patriotic American I know does instead: Tune it all out and go off to the mall.

Who cares if my Social Security pension doesn’t give me enough money to actually buy anything. That doesn’t matter.  When you are at the mall, nothing really matters here — except for the retail stores and the food court. At the mall, I can’t hear the screams of dying children in Gaza, Syria, Afghanistan and Iraq anymore.

And I can’t hear the screaming children of Ukraine any more either, as American-supplied bomber jets blow up their homes — and their arms and their legs too.

I can just think happy thoughts about the clothes that I can no longer afford to buy instead — because I didn’t get a COLA this year because that money all went to buy the airships that are blowing up the children of Ukraine.<

And I won’t have to listen to the ghosts of the children being tortured and imprisoned in Syria by ISIS either.

According to journalist Patrick Cockburn,

There is no eyewitness information about the [kidnapped middle school] children but a report in the al-Quds al-Arabi newspaper said some of those abducted by ISIS may have been tortured. It added that they were being held in two schools and that families living nearby said they could not sleep because of the sound of children crying and screaming as they were tortured. They said they heard three shots from the direction of one of the schools, leading them to fear that children may have been killed.”

Hey, we all signed a national campaign to rescue those Nigerian school girls. Where is the national campaign to rescue the Syrian kids too?

Screw that. No more thoughts about dying children for me! At the mall, all I have to worry about is whether or not my debit card will be declined.

American oligarchs and neo-cons and Wall Street and War Street have covertly financed and/or have actually opened up “wars” on so many fronts lately I can’t even count them. There’s the war on Syria, the war on Ukraine, the war on Gaza, the war on Iran, the war on Iraq (redeux), all those minor wars in Africa, the continuing war on Afghanistan … My head hurts just thinking about it. Where is a good mall when you need one?

It’s as if Wall Street and War Street are deliberately provoking and encircling Iran and Russia; deliberately trying to provoke them into a world-wide war to the death, and perhaps throwing in a war on China as well. Reliving the old Cold War glory days, guys? Or perhaps Hiroshima? Or are you just plain acting insane?

To paraphrase a Disney princess doll currently on sale here at Target, “Are you out of your [freaking] minds!?!”

No unsettling nightmares like this ever recur to me while I’m window-shopping at Old Navy or The Gap. Or while having an ice cream cone at Barnes & Noble afterwards — and maybe taking in a movie at the AMC multiplex too. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes would be a good choice. Or how about Transformers: Age of Extinction?

The war on Islam: Sewing yellow crescents on Muslims comes next?

By: Jane Stillwater Sunday July 13, 2014 2:04 pm
    How can you possibly declare war on an entire religion?  Hey, the Nazis did it — and so did the Romans.  History has demonstrated again and again that anything’s possible, even the most bizarre stuff.
    Christ was crucified because he was a Christian — and later his followers were fed to hungry lions.

    Remember Ann Frank?  She was a Jew.
    And now Muslims are slowly but surely being herded toward the coliseums, concentration camps and ovens as well.
    “But who exactly is doing all this herding?” you might ask.  American neo-cons, Israeli neo-cons and their capos in Al Qaeda and ISIS — “The Coalition of the Willing”.
    Don’t believe me?  You don’t have to.  But 50 years from now, when the Middle East has been stripped of its Muslims as neatly and cleanly as the American prairies have been stripped of its Indians, and powerful neo-con oil companies and neo-con weapons manufacturers own all the real estate from Mauritania to Pakistan, history will believe me.  Who would have ever thought that the Cherokee and the Sioux and the Cheyenne would some day be gone?  Or marched along trails of tears like the Nakba trail?  Or be warehoused in reservations like Gaza.
     And the ghosts of over a million Muslims who have already died in places like Iraq and Syria and Afghanistan and Pakistan and Palestine and Lebanon and Libya and Egypt and Yemen will believe me too.  And so will the PNAC.

“But what exactly is a neo-con?” you might ask next.  A neo-con is anyone who puts greed and dominance and power over any other consideration — and thinks that kindness and morality are only for fools like me (and hopefully you too).  Religion?  Patriotism?  Forget that.–Join-the-Democratic-Parade–Becky-O-Malley

God, Allah and even Jehovah means nothing to these creeps, and the Stars and Stripes have become nothing but a clever propaganda tool.  Neo-cons will do anything for money and domination — even sell America out (again).

    Get out your sewing kits, Muslims.  Start sewing those yellow crescent moons on your shirts.  Kristallnacht has already arrived.

First they came for the Muslims over in the Middle East (and also for any moral Christians and Jews who stood in the way of the slaughters).  So will they be coming for us here in America next?

PS:  And while we’re already on the subject of Islam, let’s talk about the holy month of Ramadan too — where you are supposed to fast from sun-up to sundown for 30 whole days so that you can experience what it is like to go without food and then feel more compassionate for those less fortunate than us.
    Sorry, guys, but for me that’s just not gonna happen.  I start starving to death after going without food for just 30 minutes — let alone daily for 30 days.

However, apparently there is also some good news for Ramadan food-wimps like me.  If you are sick, a traveler or elderly, you are granted an automatic out from the requirement to fast.  “You can feed a poor person each day instead.”

Hey, that works.  I’m elderly — and just celebrated my 72nd birthday at Chez Panisse to prove it.  Going to Chez Panisse each year for one’s birthday is a pure-genius idea.  Then instead of dreading getting older each year, you can look forward to something wonderful instead.  Plus they served salmon, and had an author come and talk to us diners about how Bristol Bay in Alaska (and the lives of 11 million salmon) are currently being threatened by Sarah Palin and her greedy neo-con friends — but I digress.

     So now I am feeding a poor person each day — which, in America, is definitely not hard to do.  There is at least one hungry and homeless poor person (and usually more) on every single street corner in beautiful downtown Berkeley where I live.
    “If I give you some money, will you spend it on food?”
    “Yeah, sure.”  Mission accomplished for another Ramadan day.
PPS:  What in the world is that ISIS terrorist group in the Middle East thinking!  ISIS is going around killing both Sunnis and Shias.  That’s crazy.  You are not supposed to kill fellow Muslims.  That is a definite no-no according to the Koran.
    “But only members of ISIS are Muslims,” their leaders reply.  “You don’t even have to pray to be one of us.  You don’t even have to observe Ramadan.”
    What then, exactly, is the requirement to be a member of ISIS?  “You just have to be mindlessly angry.  And if you are a psychopath, that also helps.”  And if the American, Israeli and Saudi neo-cons are paying you to wreck havoc in the Middle East, that’s pretty much the main requirement for being an ISIS Muslim as far as I can tell.  PNAC is at it again?  Another of their fond wishes for a second Pearl Harbor?  Yep.
    True Muslims honor the values of compassion and justice above all else.  According to Canadian journalist Zafar Bangash, “No Islamic State can be erected on the skulls of innocent people or by shedding rivers of blood.  This is the hallmark of [neo-cons].  Islam has nothing to do with such conduct.  There can be no compromise on this point.  Muslims cannot allow misguided and deviant characters to hijack the deen of Islam.”

PPPS:  You can also celebrate Ramadan by purchasing my book on the Haj!  That too would help feed a poor person — namely me.

Keystone Kops: America’s Foreign Policy is Laughable!

By: Jane Stillwater Monday July 7, 2014 4:36 pm

Keystone Kops in 1914

America, abroad.

Almost nobody remembers the Keystone Kops any more — those hilariously bewildered, confused and zany silent-movie clowns who ran around in circles like chickens with their heads cut off and whose crazy antics were shown on theater screens all across America, exactly 100 years ago today.

But I remember the Keystone Kops because they used to be on TV in the 1950s when I was a kid. Boy did I laugh!

And now, one hundred years later, the Keystone-Kop-wannabe antics of America’s crazy, bewildered and confused foreign policy is making me laugh too — at least when it isn’t making me cry.

How easy would it be — to develop a whole new stand-up comedy routine based solely on America’s foreign policy in Ukraine. And describing America’s foreign policy in the Middle East would surely be funny enough to land me a spot on Saturday Night Live. My first joke about America’s Middle East foreign policy will surely have you in stitches! “America’s foreign-policy Keystone Kops’ opening gig in the Middle East was first on the marquee in Jerusalem back in the 1940s — when those crazy, zany and confused foreign-policy Kops mistook the Palestinian holy land for a perfect site for the latest Neo-Con Condominium Development Association project.”

Get it? Holy Land? Condo development? That’s hilarious! Although even most Israelis these days are not laughing at this pratfall any more either — especially after some Israeli neo-con storm troopers just made a Palestinian child drink gasoline and then set him on fire while he was still alive. Looks like this whole Israeli neo-con Occupation skit has fallen flat.

But wait! I still got tons of other great jokes about America’s crazy, confused and zany foreign policy in the Middle East.

“Did I ever tell you the one about how America had trained and weaponized Al Qaeda terrorists in Afghanistan, back during Charlie Wilson’s War — until, oops, AQ made a wrong turn at Kabul and blew up the World Trade Center instead?” ”Not very funny, Jane.” Yeah, yeah — but wait for the punchline.

“THEN America went on to weaponize and train Al Qaeda terrorists to invade Syria — but only after Americans had bombed Iraq in 2003 in order to defeat Al Qaeda terrorists there, but then, big surprise, wait for it  — it turned out that there WERE no Al Qaeda terrorists in Iraq!  However, there soon would be plenty of Al Qaeda terrorists in Iraq after all those bumbling Keystone Kops in DC left the doors wide open for them to drop in.”

Do I hear any belly-laughs out there? Not yet? Damn, you’re a hard audience to please.

Then how about this joke? “America spent almost a trillion dollars invading Afghanistan in search of Al Qaeda terrorists — who had by then joined up with the Taliban terrorists and/or moved on to Pakistan and Iraq.” Hey, I thought that was funny.  Get it?  merica chasing Al Qaeda terrorists all through the Middle East like Al Qaeda terrorists were the bad guys and all the while Al Qaeda terrorists were America’s very own crazy and zany country cousins?” Can’t get much more like Keystone Kops than that!

Gun-A-palooza: Bet you can’t buy just one

By: Jane Stillwater Wednesday July 2, 2014 6:19 pm

There was a gun show in San Francisco last weekend and hundreds of people were already lined up at the door and waiting, hours ahead of the opening bell.  Why?  “We want to buy guns, of course, but we also want to buy ammunition.”  Of course.  What is the use of having a gun if you don’t have any ammunition?

And what is the use of buying just one gun when you can buy two?  Or three or four — or a hundred.

And what is the use of owning a derringer when you can own a pistol?  And why own a pistol when you can easily trade up and buy a semiautomatic weapon instead?  And why just have a semiautomatic weapon when you can get your hands on an AK-47?  Or a rocket-launcher — better yet!

I just finished reading Henry Chang’s excellent new murder-mystery novel, “Death Money”  And on page 67, Chang wrote, “[Detective Yu] had considered switching over to a Smith & Wesson semiautomatic, a nine-millimeter piece, with a polymer frame and a fifteen-shot magazine, but most cops were favoring the new Glocks.”  And the more that the bad guys on his beat increased their firepower, the more that Detective Yu wanted to up his firepower too.

And Detective Yu’s attitude is the norm among real cops as well as fictional ones.  And it’s not just him or most cops that think this way either.  In fact, the more firepower almost anyone has, then the more firepower almost everyone wants.  This is true.  And pretty soon, even a rocket-launcher won’t do the job and we will all be wanting to upgrade to bazookas and tanks.  And then cannons.  And drones.  And who knows what all else.

“They’ve got one.  I need one.”

Pretty soon, if America’s current trend toward weaponization keeps spiraling upward, then who knows.  We’ll all be walking down Main Street locked and loaded like ISIS does in Iraq.  And we’ll all be wearing black scarves wrapped around our heads and carrying pirate flags and ranting about law and order and God and shooting down everything that moves — ISIS-Al Qaeda-Taliban style.

And gun manufacturers will be happily raking in big bucks all this time — that is, until all of their customers end up shooting all of their other customers dead.

PS:  And apparently Americans are currently trying very hard to start resembling ISIS-Taliban-Al Qaeda bad guys in more ways than just weapons and guns.  We are also about to sink to their level in other ways too.

After the recent Supreme Court decision regarding Hobby Lobby, American women may be about to start living the Taliban life-style as well — and be forced into purdah like it was 2014 (in Afghanistan)

Better start getting ready to go off to the harem, ladies — and that is no veiled threat!

PPS:  Basically, Republicans, neo-cons and/or the Tea Party have been in charge of America since the year 2000 — through their control of the White House, Congress, the Supreme Court, the military and/or ownership of the mainstream media.  And anything that Republicans haven’t controlled during this period of time has been controlled by the  RepubliDems and/or Democrats who act like neo-con wannabes.

So.  Ask yourself.  “Has anything in America — anything at all — gotten any better since the 2000 election?”

Yet Another Article on Syria

By: Jane Stillwater Thursday June 26, 2014 10:52 am

“Just exactly how many articles on Syria and Iraq can you actually churn out?” a friend of mine asked me recently. “You were only over in Damascus for five freaking days. And you haven’t been to Iraq since 2008. So what makes YOU such an expert on these two countries?”

ISIS flag sticker on a wall in Syria

The “experts” are wrong about the Middle East and the rise of ISIS proves it.

Even after less than a week spent in Damascus and after only having been to Iraq four-and-a-half times, I apparently already know more about Syria and Baghdad and Al Ambar than all those dingbats in the U.S. State Department, the Pentagon and the CIA combined. Unfortunately, Washington neo-cons and their neo-con counterparts in Tel Aviv have really gotten the Arab world totally wrong.

So, even though I would really rather be writing about almost anything else right now, it is still my civic duty to set these fools straight.  Sorry about that.

What I really want to be writing about this week is the exciting new Freedom Summer 50th-anniversary conference in Jackson, Mississippi, where a bunch of folks are getting together to celebrate having survived the heroic summer of 1964 when so many civil rights workers poured their hearts out in an attempt to finally bring justice to the Ol’ South — and some of them lost their lives while doing it too.

But apparently justice in the Ol’ South will have to wait a bit longer. Right now we need to talk about justice in the Middle East first.

After the fall of the U.S.S.R., Washington neo-cons needed a new boogeyman to scare Americans into handing over our hard-earned tax dollars to the military-industrial complex.  And so the military-industrial complex came up with the idea of making Islam the bad guy.  But then apparently Washington neo-cons actually began to believe their own hype — and even went so far as to actually start creating “Islamic Militants” where none had existed so far.
According to journalist Finian Cunningham, “The biggest recruitment office for such groups [as ISIS] is the British government and its criminal militaristic foreign policy, which has been destroying countries for years, overtly and covertly.  That same destructive British state-sponsored terrorism, alongside that of its American and other NATO allies, is also why millions of Syrians and Iraqis are living in tents, unable to feed their families.”

The thumbscrews were not only put onto various Islamic countries until “militants” actually did start to emerge, but then Wall Street and War Street — bound and determined to sell as many weapons as possible — actually started creating and financing “Islamic Militants” themselves (and of course all the while praying for another “Pearl Harbor”).  According to a recent article in Information Clearinghouse, “Key members of ISIS it now emerges were trained by US CIA and Special Forces command at a secret camp in Jordan in 2012, according to informed Jordanian officials. Former US State Department official Andrew Doran wrote in the conservative National Review magazine that some ISIS warriors also hold US passports.”

Neo-cons began manufacturing these Frankenstein monsters left and right. Actually paying thousands of poor unfortunate souls in the Middle East to go on “jihad.”

Even way back in the 1970s I could have warned the military-industrial complex that these acts of folly would eventually start leading to blow-back — not to mention the sky-rocketing cost of gasoline as a result of all this footsie-playing in the Middle East.

According to journalist Juan Cole, “During the past ten years, American drivers have seen their gasoline bill go up tremendously – though not as much as it by all rights should have – and stay there.”

Apparently, The M-IC’s money-making scheme in the Middle East was that various U.S. and Israeli neo-cons would be constantly stirring up the pot there, turning Arab against Arab until they all freaking started to butcher each other like so many crabs in a barrel. And then the U.S. and Israeli neo-cons would steal everything that wasn’t nailed down while no one over there was looking. It sounded like a good plan. Until the rest of us Americans and Israelis finally began to realize that there was nothing in this witches’ brew for the rest of us except danger to ourselves.

According to me, ISIS is nothing but a bunch of pirates, the Taliban are murdering wife-beaters, the idiots in charge of Egypt, Saudi Arabia, the Gulf states and Iraq are dictators and Libya is overrun by barbarians. And who created all these proto-zombies? Neo-cons in Israel and the U.S.  Of course.

According to Franklin Lamb, who seems to be legendary in Damascus for fabricating stories and mooching off of the Syrian government, ISIS, Syria’s arch enemy, is practically a freaking benevolent organization who succors the poor, has nukes of its own and whose goal is to unite all the downtrodden Arabs in the Middle East into one coherent version of the freaking Red Cross and then liberate Palestine and wash Israel into the sea.

However, Palestinians in Syria did not support ISIS’s brutality and refused to be drawn in — so ISIS bombed the crap out of them instead. And the Palestinians in Israel already have neo-cons killing their kids — and don’t need any more neo-con-backed pirates adding even more “creative chaos” to the mix.

Huh? No. Forget about the sparkling clean Red Cross wannabe image. These ISIS guys are down and dirty pirates. And that’s “all she wrote” about that. And apparently we American taxpayers are paying for all of ISIS’s new Toyotas, rocket-launchers and Nikes as well.

Syria, Iraq, Captain Phillips & the ISIS pirates

By: Jane Stillwater Monday June 23, 2014 2:51 pm
Lego pirates standing over a globe of the Eastern hemisphere.

From ISIS to capitalist warmongers, who are the real pirates of the Middle East?

On my recent really-long plane ride back from Syria where I had served as an election observer, I must have watched at least six different inflight movies — and one of them was Captain Phillips, starring Tom Hanks. It was all about being attacked by brutal pirates brandishing deadly weapons — and about looting and fear.

And then it suddenly occurred to me that the ISIS invasion of Syria (and now Iraq) was also all about being attacked by brutal pirates brandishing deadly weapons — and about looting and fear.

The only difference seemed to be that Captain Phillips‘ Hollywood pirates were basically just poor schmucks with no other available job opportunities — whereas the Al Qaeda-backed and American-financed ISIS pirates are killers to the bone.

I just learned that 15 of the ISIS pirates killed while plundering in Syria were from Malaysia. Huh? They came all the way from Malaysia to loot and burn and kill Syrian women and children and also desecrate Syrian churches and mosques while they were at it? I wonder who paid their airfare to Syria — and if their inflight movie was Captain Phillips too?

American taxpayers paid for their airfare.

I also just learned that, “The Malaysians who go to Syria and Iraq to fight will be arrested when they return home.” Of course they will be. They are pirates! Pirates belong in jail.

And America, the country that pays these ISIS pirates’ salary and writes up their job description, is not about to let any of these monsters come over here after they’ve been thrown out of Iraq and Syria either. These guys are not ever gonna be allowed to get jobs chauffeuring tourists through the Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland. Why? Because you definitely do not want to let these marauders and butchers anywhere near your kids!

In America, criminals like these would be jailed for life in an instant — or even made to walk the plank.

But apparently it’s okay with our State Department if they butcher Syrian and Iraqi kids.

One other thing I learned the other day is that Saudi Arabia is paying a $300-a-head bounty for every Alawite Syrian these pirates kill. One ISIS pirate bragged that he has chopped off 350 Syrian heads. So far. And played soccer with them.  (Please don’t let this guy play in the World Cup!) And apparently there’s even a video of this guy eating one of his victim’s hearts out on live TV. Who the freak in their right mind would ever do that? Pirates.

And another thing I would like to make perfectly clear. You can’t blame all this blood-lust on Islam either. These ISIS butchers and boogeymen are not Muslims. Muslims venerate compassion and justice. ISIS venerates booty and loot.