The shenanigans and deceit just aren’t ever going to cease until every single corporate charter of every single predatory or TBTF corporation is shredded, burned and buried.
Just this evening, right after 6PM, I got a call from a rep at Wells Fargo; and boy did she have a deal for me! She said that since I’ve been such a loyal longterm customer would I like to receive a special offer on life insurance worth up to $1 million. She said with this special new program they could have it in the mail and get it to me within 7-10 days, and I could look it it over and see if it was something I’d be interested in. As a matter of fact I would have 60 whole days to review the materials and consider whether I’d like to enroll, and that all I had to do was make sure I replied by the 60th day to cancel and that-.. Uh, excuse me, miss, did you say “cancel”? “Yes sir, that’s correct”. Don’t you mean ‘enroll’? “Well sir, all you have to do is review the documents for this coverage and if you decide you don’t want to participate, just be sure to cancel and-..” Whoah, Nellie. Let’s try this again. Shouldn’t I be able to review the documents and if I decide to participate, then I need to enroll within the 60 day period to take advantage of this great offer, not cancel? Because if I have to cancel the policy that means I’m being automatically enrolled, doesn’t it? “Well sir, the-”.
Enough, ma’am, let’s review. You’re saying that Wells Fargo is sending out life insurance policies to interested people all over the country: the elderly, the infirm, people who can’t read, people who might just toss the envelope thinking it’s junk mail or a statement they don’t need to see, people who don’t understand English fluently, people who might have it end up in their apartment neighbor’s box accidentally and it gets thrown away, people who have had address changes, people who might get called away on business or to tend for a sick relative and be out of town for a week. And if those elderly, infirm, handicapped, mismailed, called-away folks don’t get back to you by day X, they’re going to be automatically enrolled in a life insurance plan? “Well sir, all recipients do have the full 60 days to respond and cancel.” You just don’t get it, do you? Now, I know this wasn’t your idea, and that you’re just doing your job, but don’t you think this is pretty scandalous? What if someone is called away for an emergency the last week right before they were going to say “no”?
Look, I said, why don’t you not send it to me? This is really deceptive. I’ve had the same bank account number for almost twenty years through two or three owner changes and whatnot. But this is insane; think of all the people I mentioned who might not get back to you in time, or not be capable of getting back to you correctly or in time. Her brain now in cognitive dissonance, her cheery efficiency now flustered, she refused to answer my simple query and resolutely carried on in speedboat ‘gonna-get-off-this-call-like-a-hot-potato’ cadence as if I was the one who somehow missed the point of this great offer and was simply a troublemaker responsible for a suddenly cloudy sky) “Well sir, if you change your mind you can call 8XX-XXX-XXXX to request the info, thankyouverymuch, haveagoodevening”. Click.
Wow. So there you have it. The latest way our TBTF banks are going after people’s money. I guess those extra fees they’re all trying to ram down our throats for extra transactions or just having an account period just aren’t enough for the voracious a-holes who work for these folks. At the branch near me, they’ve had a smily PR flak/greeter floating around the bank every time I’ve been in since December. Besides the Wachovia customers not liking the changing of the reigns yet again at all, it’s also almost like something had happened in November or something! ;-)
And I know what you’re thinking: uh, jeffc, why didn’t you move your money when you were supposed to? Three reasons, actually. Number one, I only keep a little there for my debit card since I don’t have a credit card. Number two, it’s always been where I could cash my paycheck since my ex-employer used it too, which is why I even set up my account with its corporate forebears back in the day. I’d like to think that my longevity there meant something, but it doesn’t; just like it didn’t mean jack to my ex-employer. But I digress…. Number Three, so that there’d be an FDL member who could still witness the inner shenanigans of WF and dutifully report back after everyone else had moved their dough. (Okay, I didn’t plan that part, but it worked out, didn’t it?)
So there ya go; the latest predatory scheme from from the corporatist slimeball TBTF class. Don’t act in time to cancel something you never expressly asked to join, let alone saw a single word of, and we’re gonna charge ya money anyway! Who knows; the fine print just might say that you can’t cancel it once you’re enrolled?! Will it ever end? Yes, but only when every single corporate charter of every single predatory or TBTF corporation is fully and legally dissolved, shredded, burned and buried. That of course still leaves the mindset of people like that lurking in our society, but if we can change the reward system and upgrade their comprehension to public citizen v2.0, a fair amount of them could possibly re-integrate into society and avoid their alternative fate of corporate Guantanamo, guillotines or being made to re-apply for citizenship in a participatory democracy.
Oh, by the by, would anyone like a nice life insurance policy? Don’t get back to me and it’s yours.