Between the geeky attempts at hipness on the roof from GOP chair Michael Steele and the doddering snarl of John McCain from the back porch, there exists a rotting foundation laid down by Cheney and Bush, walls held up by Piyush Jindal and Eric Cantor, who’s legs tremble under the weight of their own silliness, and a whitewash job put on by Limbaugh, Beck, and Hannity.

Face it: This house is falling apart. If one were a thinking Republican (Yes—I know it’s an oxymoron) one would look about at the country, gather in the information that American rather resoundingly elected Democrats and progressives across the board, put their finger into the wind, and realize that it’s blowing left. Then, this theoretical thinking Republican would say to his or herself: "Perhaps we should be doing more to reach the people who put Obama et al in office. We should probably start supporting the middle class and working America and campaign for national health care and legalize gay marriage. Maybe this would change the way Americans think of us."

Alas…the poor, beknighted GOP can’t see it’s infrastructure has already crumbled. Not even the money and hair and perfect white teeth of Mitt Romney can restore this old house. The definition of an alcoholic is one who does the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Using the same faces, the same rhetoric, and the same tired talking points isn’t going to revive the GOP.

Perhaps there will be an intervention and the house that Reagan built can be restored to its former "glory". And, perhaps Elvis will return.