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With the news that Military Commissions are likely to be our "First Line of Defense" for GWOT detainees including KSM, it appears that Chief of Staff "Beauregard" Emanuel has convinced President Obama Lincoln that in order to be "moving forward, not backwards", he only has to nullify a good part of the Constitution, the Federal Judiciary and then surrender at Appomattox to South Carolina in order to form "a more perfect union confederacy".
Here’s the backstory of what I imagine actually took place over tea and crumpets in the Rose Garden:
CoS "Beauregard" Emanuel: Slurp! Mr. President, even though we have the majority in both houses of Congress and you yourself occupy the Executive branch, there’s no political sense in your winning the
electionwar if we don’t make the Confederacy happy. Slurp! And I’ve managed to arrange asurrendergood deal with the Senator from South Carolina.President
ObamaLincoln: Slurp! Happiness is good! Comity above all else! "Bipartisanship First" is what I always say! As I understand it, their terms for "moving forward, not backwards", are that we keepGuantanamoAndersonville open, use Military Commissions instead of Federal Courts, suspend Habeas Corpus, allow hearsay as testimony, allow secret evidence and witnesses to be presented by the prosecution that the defense is not allowed to see or cross examine, and that we continue to honor theirslaveryindentured servitude as legally binding contracts. Slurp! Is that right "Beauregard"?CoS "Beauregard" Emanuel: Slurp! Yes Sir! As a former
Constitutionallawyer, I knew that you would be the first to understand that the men who write our laws can just as easily re-write those laws. They’re just words on a piece of paper. Erase a few Articles, delete a few words…why I bet nobody will care or even notice. And I’m confident that we can make the optics look good by emphasizing your bipartisanship. I’ve always found the DC journalists can sell that the best.President
ObamaLincoln: Slurp! Slurp! And what about the people who supported and elected me?CoS "Beauregard" Emanuel: Slurp! I always say that you make peace with your enemies; not your friends. I’m sure I can sell the optics of President as "
DealPeacemaker" to my friends in the village media. Slurp!President
ObamaLincoln: Slurp! Well done "Beauregard", well done! Without your stellar dealmaking, we’d both probably still be back planting corn in Illinois.
4 Comments
Bless your heart.
Rec’d.
Your post reminds me of this catchy tune;
Selected verses from;
JUBILATION T. CORNPONE
Lil’ Abner : The Musical (1956)
(Gene De Paul / Johnny Mercer)
Stubby Kaye – 1956
Little background here.
Andersonville (in Georgia) is where the Confederacy held US troops as prisoners of war
Elmira (in New York) is where the US held Confederate troops as prisoners of war
Both places were hellholes, rife with starvation and dysentery, not because of the sense of vindictiveness (like that shown toward prisoners in Guantanamo) but because in a time of war neither side could afford proper prisons. As the Confederacy was the more financially strapped toward the end of the war, the conditions deteriorated.
My great-great grandfather was drafted into the North Carolina Troops in 1863, was captured at Spotsylvania Courthouse and died in Elmira of dysentery in 1864, substantially less than a year after he got there. I have no idea what he thought of the Civil War; he owned 100 acres and had no slaves at all. None of my relatives ever were nostalgic for the war except for another great-great grandfather who was captured three times, exchanged twice, and had the good fortune to be paroled from the hospital in Petersburg VA three weeks before his unit surrendered at Bennett Place in NC, the last engagement of the war.
And the purpose of the prisoner of war camps was to hold soldiers out of the war until the end or until they were exchanged. There has not been any indication of the sort of government-sanctioned torture that went on at Guantanamo in any history of the Civil War.
Using the South as a punching bag again just because the Senator in question is from South Carolina and not named Michele Bachman, Sarah Palin, or Pete King is not offensive, just tedious in a time when progressives are working very hard to turn Southern politics around.