“Transgendered” is a sort of catch all for those who don’t conform to gender “norms” and range from cross dressers to professional impersonators to transsexuals to the intersexed and all sorts of variations among them. I hate the term “transsexual” not least because people like Jerry Springer have turned it into a cartoon, depicting us as a bunch of loud mouthed, unshaven drag queens, fooling poor, unsuspecting heterosexuals into having relationships for the pure enjoyment of causing emotional pain. Sure, he likes to say “it’s just entertainment” but somehow I don’t expect anybody who exploits racial divisions to ridicule a whole class of people to ever be given a television show. That’s why I use the catch all term. That and the fact that it really shouldn’t matter what “flavor” a person is. In my case, I was born with an XXY chromosome, a condition known as Klinefelter’s Syndrome. I was born male but with many feminine characteristics and also sterile. I was extremely lucky. Too many people with chromosomal anomalies also get a stir to their brains as well. The only thing I got was mild autism and an undeniable belief that I was living in the wrong body. . . .
Fast forwarding a bunch of years, there came a time when times were hard, due to certain Reagan policies and I had an extended term of unemployment. Eventually I joined the service as a way to further my education and as a way to keep eating regularly. I entered the Navy with a 95 on the entrance test and I could pretty much write my own ticket. Having always been an aviation fan, I chose aviation as my career. Originally I wanted electronics but I wouldn’t be able to actually enter the service for a full year, so I chose airframes, a rate which I was very happy with. I did really well in the Navy. In boot camp, I was company yeoman and I was nominated for the Navy League Award and got accelerated advancement to E-2. In AMS “A” school, I also did well, missing top spot by just two tenths of one point and I got accelerated advancement again to E-4. I got through my FRAMP and PJT schools as top person in both and in record time. All told, it was just seven months from enlisting until I arrived at my final command, ready to go to work as an F-14A airframes and hydraulic systems technician. Though sent originally to the flight line, I impressed the airframes shop supervisor so much that in less than a month, I was in my work center. In less than two years after I joined, I was an E-5, collateral duty inspector, work center safety representative, flight deck qualifier, night shift airframes supervisor and the go to person for field maintenance when a bird broke down away from our hanger. Things were going very well indeed for me. I even had a house that I shared with a good friend who was likewise an airframe technician in my unit
Then one day, just before I had voluntarily extended myself for a year, my roommate, who was about to transfer out, was arrested for the second drunk driving offense in as many years. Quite apart from how law enforcement felt about it, at that time, almost any other sailor would have lost at least a pay grade and probably would have done some brig time but my roommate was also very talented and successful. In fact, a couple of years before that, maintenance control had tried to force us to live in different homes because they didn’t want anything to happen to both of us at the same time. They wouldn’t even let us go on cruises together after the first one when maintenance back on the beach suffered so badly. Anyway my roommate knew that I identified as transgendered and he never had a problem with it. Shortly after his arrest however, suddenly everybody knew and I was dragged in front of several different officers. The decision was taken that somehow I couldn’t be trusted working on aircraft anymore, (this was just a couple of years after the Navy blamed Clayton Hartwig for the tragedy aboard the Iowa and said it was because of unrequited gay love), so they sent me to do ASDO duty until my service was up, where I would just post watches and answer the phone from midnight to eight on weekdays. Not a bad gig but boring as hell. My one bit of guilty satisfaction is that after I left, the airframe shop had to go to a 12 on 12 off shift and it was always open, trying to keep up with the work. All because they wouldn’t let me work on airplanes anymore.
This went on for three months and then we had a change of command. The new CO was a rabid Christian and an LGBT loathing, uptight jerk so there was no question about what my fate was going to be. I was told I was going to mast two hours before it actually happened and both of the people I wanted to call as witnesses for me were away at the time. I was represented by a chief who had been in my unit for about a month instead of the two who had known me for years. I was told that I would be discharged within 90 days. After about a week, it was again decided that I couldn’t be trusted around airplanes again so they wanted me to do clean hanger spaces instead. This was calculated to humiliate me further in the eyes of my peers and so I refused to do it. I was written up of course but what were they going to do? Throw me out? Eventually my Master Chief who was a decent person came to my rescue. The squadron was scheduled to do a couple of weeks worth of workups ahead of it’s next deployment and he needed me to qualify the new final checkers for flight deck operations, so I went aboard ship with everybody else.
A few days later, Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait and we were ordered to the Persian Gulf. A few days after that, I got orders rescinding my discharge for the duration of the war. I spent the next 101 days working flight deck operations in the day and supervising the airframes shop at night, plus standing a couple of watches during that time. Almost immediately after the mother of all surrenders, I was flown off the ship and I began my trek home. From Riyadh to Turkey, to Germany, to England to the New Jersey, to Louisiana, to Texas and finally to California. Then I had to take a bus to where I’d parked my car. I went home to find that my landlord had posted an eviction notice because I hadn’t been around to pay the rent. Deciding that I could deal with it the next day, I went to bed.
I was woken up the next morning early by my division chief who insisted that I come in to work, (even though I was technically on leave). I went in and they sent me to immediately get my final medical, then it was on to do my checking out all over the base. One officer at PSD refused to sign my orders because he said I needed a haircut. Of course I refused and eventually he had to relent. What did I care? As long as I was in, I was getting paid. In short, less than 12 hours after I finally got home from the unforeseen deployment, I was out of the Navy. I got:
An other than honorable discharge
I lost two pay grades
I lost half a month’s pay for three months.
I lost my leave time.
I lost my education benefits and savings.
I lost my medical benefits.
I even lost my transportation privileges. I had to get me and my stuff back home as best as I could.
This was of course before the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy but it wouldn’t have mattered much if it had been after it was instituted. To this day I don’t think that there is a blanket policy on how they deal with transgendered service members. In my case I got an administrative discharge which means they neither had to refer or prove any charges. I defy anybody to look in the UCMJ and find where being transgendered is a violation of any rules. At least it wasn’t in the 1991 UCMJ.
Somebody much smarter than me once said “Until we are all free, none of us are.” I’m not suggesting that crossdressers be allowed to wear the uniform of the opposite sex but I am suggesting that they not be thrown out for expressing themselves on their own time. As for transsexuals and the intersexed, those are medical conditions, though not ones that keep people from succeeding in the services. Why do we treat some medical conditions differently than others? Why will the military correct a congenital heart condition but throw out somebody for having traits belonging to both sexes?
So I say, go ahead and celebrate! Every incremental step in civil rights is an important one and one worthy of celebration. Just remember that we are not all free and while DADT has now been repealed, when it began, it actually improved the lives of LGB persons who were no longer given bad discharges that removed their benefits. DADT homogenized the status and treatment of LGB service members, instead of leaving it up to the capricious whims of unit commanders. But now transgendered service people are two steps behind our gay cousins. We still get discharged under other than honorable conditions for the “crime” of simply being different. A whole lot of people are saying “Who cares?” There are many gay activists for example who will use the transgendered person’s money and energy but will never come back to help us out with our issues, nor do I expect them to do so this time. Repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is a good thing. But it’s not the end. At least it isn’t for many thousands of us.




134 Comments

I’ll answer any questions but I warn you that I will ask moderator help for people who want to come along just to disrupt.
Thanks. I know 2 transgendered folks here so I kinda had this figured out a while ago.
Quite the early experience in the Nav. Cut their nose off to spite their face.
(((Margaret)))
Margaret, you are one of the best. Can’t tell you how much I admire both your courage and your amazing mind. You have a huge range of knowledge. I’m glad that you wrote this diary because it tells me that you know how much you are valued around here. We’re here for you always.
It was because they gave individual unit commanders too much leeway. I’m convinced my first skipper would have said “m’eh” about it but not the final one. He was quite the phobe.
Thanks! Means a lot. :)
Peggy, this is so moving and outrageous. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised at what happened, but I confess the part that surprised me was that you lost not only education bens but your *savings*? I started to say – how could they do that…but the last few years have made clear that the powerful can do whatever they want.
I am so sorry. I suppose it is that discharge that is keeping you from getting the jobs you interview for. It’s terrible.
What guts it must have taken for you to post this.
Thanks. Yep, all of my savings. Every dime I put in and every dime they matched.
I worked with an E-8 Yeoman early in my career. He was the Flag Secretary to Chief, US Naval Forces, Philippines. Everybody knew Chief W was gay, nobody gave a rat’s ass.
That is truly unn-forking-believable.
You know, this kind of injustice is the reason I wanted to go to law school.
The futility of success was part of why I gave up ten+ years ago.
(((Margaret)))
I suggest a regular diary-of-the-week competition, and herewith nominate this one for the first week’s honors.
Yep. The DADT policy sucked ass for people in 1994 if you had a cool C.O. but was great for those who had bigoted assholes in their chain.
That’s sweet. Let me know if (and what) I win!
Too bad we can’t award you a paying job.
LMAO! That’d be nice. And welcome!
Thank you for this, Margaret. Greatly appreciated.
Thank you for sharing your story. You have helped me to better understand and appreciate our absolute human responsibility to be open and accepting rather than close-minded and judgmental. The Navy and the United States that it protects and serves lost a top-notch sailor due to its own blind and stupid hypocrisy. I feel really bad that you had to endure such awful mistreatment.
I didn’t realize that repealing DADT will not affect the Navy’s unwritten policy regarding the broader than I realized category of transgendered persons. I hope the repeal will make it easier to challenge the policy successfully because, as your experience conclusively proves, there certainly is no basis to continue discriminate. I also hope that the continuing plight of the transgendered will not be forgotten in the aftermath of the celebration.
Best wishes.
Thanks for your wishes and I’m glad I could help educate you and others.
You’re welcome Rayne! :)
Thanks, Margaret, for sharing your story. And keep up your wonderful writing here at FDL — I always enjoy your comments and your spunk! Hope the New Year brings you a new job.
Thanks Dearie!
Hi Margaret. I was wondering if you ever had a problem with employment because of your “less than honorable discharge.” Employers now check out your whole life history just to get a job at Walmart.
I’m in the same unemployment boat as you. Actually I was never eligible for unemployment benefits from my last jobs but I hope they come through for people like you. At least I have a place to live.
The short answer is yes. I was offered a job in the urology clinic at Wilford hall for example but it was rescinded because of my OTH.
I’m a 99er BTW. I’ve got the rent paid this month but I imagine I’ll be living in my car in February.
Oops, I meant other than honorable. What kind of ridiculous official designation is that, anyway? Sounds like a way to screw someone over without having to be very specific about the reason for discharge.
I’ve read many of your posts because I lurk a lot. I hope you are able to keep your cat. This is the kind of thing that keeps me awake at night. The animals always suffer. I wish you all the luck in the world. The bottom of the heap is a real sucky place to be. Believe me, I’m pretty much living it.
Thanks you so very much, Margaret.
Wonderful diary. I admire you a great deal and enjoy reading your comments every day.
Lots of great humans here at FDL, my oasis of sanity.*g*
Margaret, ya already know how I feel about ya.
Your diary, this powerfully courageous and excellently potent post, is a gift to the rest of us.
Knowing you enhances the rest of us, and, by letting others know you, you to allow and encourage the rest of us to begin to really understand.
This is the essence of true power, that which represents human truth.
You are a truly powerful person, by virtue of your decency, your compassion, and your deeply human understanding.
You are also a hell of a woman.
Love ya.
DW
thank you, thank you (((Ms Peggy)))
I’m just a blubbering pile of flesh and cartilage right now –
it is overwhelming at times to think of how steep the climb to true equality and acceptance is gonna be for us as a nation (hell, us as a species) – but if it is any kind of comfort, just know there are several of us ‘lil mutants out here already, scratching our heads, wondering why in the hell this kind of difference could bother any one . . . oh, and we’re replicating
mad love and props to you for sharing your story – mwah !
Most important story I’ve ever read here.
Thanks so much.
This is a confusing story, margaret – you were outted by your roomate – and without an iota of proof – just the word of another airman, they demoted you? Is it that paranoid in the military?
Margaret, well… you know how I feel about you. I wouldn’t have sought you out to help me start a biz if I didn’t think you were all that and more.
Anyway, I worked for years in a Radiology department starting in a hospital before going to the private offices. I cannot tell you how many babies are born with attributes to both sexes. THOUSANDS!
I’ve seen children and adults with three or more nipples, a penis in the wrong place, etc.
It has nothing at all to do with the love, and the worth of the person. Nothing will ever convice me that a human is less or more because of what their bodies are. You, are more now than ever noted to be a strong and wonderful person!
Strength and courage.
Your’s are mighty.
May they serve you well . . .
Wishing you better outcomes with all my being.
Thank you, Margaret.
Everything DW said above, x 2.
In addition to the valuable comments you make here every day, you’ve now put a human face [+ human story] on what is all-too-frequently only a designation ["transgendered"].
I am hopeful that, just as “gay” got to be less “scary” as folks realized that their uncles, brothers, children, cousins, aunts, etc. were gay, and were still the same human beings they’d known and loved for many years, people will come to the same conclusion about transgendered.
Your self-portrait is a valuable contribution towards that goal.
Thanks again.
You’re welcome. :)
PS – to whomever it was who encouraged you to write this [Kelly?], THANKS!!!!
Thanks. Sorry I made you cry though!
Bravo (((Margaret)))!
You’re welcome!
Yep. It’s a lot more common than people think. Maybe because there’s such a stigma that’s been attached.
Thanks! I’m very fond of you too.
Thanks. Dunno about strength and courage. I’m sorta just surviving because the alternative sucks ass.
You’re welcome! I wrote it because I think the celebrations need to have a bit of reality injected into them. Celebrate yes, not time to stop striving though.
Thanks Ellie! :)
Thanks. I have a lot of respect for you too.
It’s reserved for people who haven’t actually broken any laws but they want to get rid of anyway.
Thank you, Margaret, for sharing your story here.
I don’t believe any LGB(T) organizations when they say “We’ll come back to pick you up later!” because it hardly ever happens. We need to hang together for we will surely hang separately.
I hope your story inspires and educates. It certainly did me. I really appreciate your telling it today. Thank you.
Thanks Teddy.
Yeah. I really can’t think of any occasions when that has happened to be honest.
Very touching and informative story. Also pissed me off no end. I have so much sympathy for the transgendered. Jesus, we all hear about (and remember) the awkwardness of growing up, geeks having to deal with bullies, plain girls trying vainly to cope with the campus hot-chick clique, and of course, everyone just trying to sort out their own hormones and learn to deal with the opposite sex. Gays and lesbians get another layer of confusion, uncertainty, and pressure. But the worst lot has to fall to the transgendered. Navigating through that must be incredibly hard and often hurtful.
Thank God you made it, and best of luck with the job search. BTW, maybe you’ve seen this:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/20/barbara-lee-bobby-scott-i_n_799097.html
Barbara Lee, Bobby Scott Introduce Bill For 99ers
Hope it makes it’s way through the next Congress STAT.
Thanks. Yep, many of us drop out of school. I personally never completed the tenth grade though I eventually got a GED. It was a fucking nightmare!
Let me add my accolades to those above. It must have taken courage and trust for you to write this diary, although I’ve noticed that you have been increasingly open about your situation. I respect you and always enjoy your comments. And like SD, I pretty much had figured it out, except I didn’t know the actual medical condition was a syndrome with a name. I guess I’m pretty clueless.
I do want to ask a question, and if you don’t wish to answer I will understand. You are “Margaret” (or Peg or Peggy) and I assume you now live as a woman, and that you apply for jobs as a woman. Do you think that has caused some of the good interviews to come to no job offer, because the prospective employer figures it out and is uncomfortable (or worse, bigoted)? Or do you think it is more due to your OTH discharge?
I really don’t understand how they could take your savings and your benefits, including money YOU had put in, not because of what you DID, but because of who you ARE. Like cbl, I was in tears when I finished reading. You are a very brave person.
Margaret thanks for being true. Your comments always make me laugh, think, cry, or fire me up, sometimes all at once.
I’ve been “living as a woman” for 12 years and I’ve been as biologically female as any woman without a uterus for almost ten years so I’ve spent a whole lot of time working as a female. The job offer I mentioned at WHMC in the comments above was rescinded due to my discharge but I’m convinced that some of the really good interviews I’ve been getting are falling through later because it’s too easy to look me up on the internet and find out I wasn’t always Margaret. It’s not really very obvious that I wasn’t always female. I’ve never really kept who I am a secret though I’ve never really advertised it either. Sometimes I think I should be louder but life is difficult enough without layering that on top of it all.
Thanks for the accolades.
Thanks, Margaret, for a very moving story. You illustrate that even with what some will hail as a great victory in the “repeal” of DADT, our society still throws up many barriers against true equality. Thanks for doing your part in the continuing struggle.
Thanks hotdog. I like you too. :)
Hi Jim. Thanks. That means a lot coming from you. :)
Thanks, Peg. I am very glad you are here, and that you trust your friends at FDL enough to be comfortable sharing your story.
Thank you for doing this post, Margaret. { clapping, whistling } You’re clocking +Mach 1 on this.
Thanks. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
I just read your “boil” post — I had seen you refer to the boil in the comments a couple of times, but hadn’t known of the diary. Wow, you have guts! I might lance something somewhere if desperate, but I can’t imagine lancing in that area when it’s already so painful. I assume it’s pretty well healed by now? GAH!
You have an incredibly powerful and moving story, Margaret. The rank injustices which have been visited upon you are unbelievable, but having passing familiarity with what is laughingly referred to as “Naval Justice” (It sure ain’t what you saw on “JAG”) I can’t say I’m shocked. I greatly admire your strength of spirit!
Yep. There’s still a sore spot where I excised it because I had to cut pretty deeply and of course never used any suture and I mostly still use a pillow to sit on while I’m at my desk but I’m back to doing my workout walking without any problems. I even watched Harry Potter a couple of days after the surgery without much discomfort.
Again, dunno about “guts’. It had to be done and I had no other options. I couldn’t even imagine going to the ER and trying to sit there on their hard chairs for how ever many hours it took them to get around to seeing me! Screw that!
I am sorry for the suffering you have undergone yet you have the strength and the courage (this is what I am applauding) to keep going and speak out. I am really glad for that as I know other folks in positions similar to yours and I think it’s high time we all got equal.
With the way things are set up, a prospective employer with as little as a name and a telephone number can pull an entire life story and make discriminatory decisions so a person never even gets an interview. This started by the 1990s when our personal data started going directly into real-time private databases via the tel-sat-cos et al’s backroom dealings.
At the moment, I continue to wonder how I can be of any assistance to you.
Margaret, thank you for such a great post. I can’t say anything more than what’s already been said by everyone else here, just thank you! I admire you quite a lot!
Thanks for your vote! :)
Sure thing, and please also know that I’m pulling for you every single day and sending positive vibes that your situation improves very soon…
Thanks for that too. I’ll take all of the help I can get no matter how tangible or intangible. It’s very much appreciated.
:-)
Thanks for this post from the real world Margaret.
I fear we spend way too much time throwing abstractions back and forth to little effect.
Your story is the type that cuts through mountains of BS, and years of misunderstanding in the space of a few minutes.
I think I’ll share it with my father, who was a Navy man.
Thanks again.
Hello Margret I admire your courage. It takes a special person to open their life as you have done. Thank you for your insight.
Do you doubt my tale? I wasn’t outed by an airman, I was outed by another second class petty officer and the word “paranoid” doesn’t suit what I said here. “Authoritarian” or “bigoted” would be much closer.
I’d love to hear what your dad thinks about it all.
Thanks and you’re welcome popeye!
Thanks. Yep, Naval justice has much more in common with naval lint than it does with “JAG”.
Thanks for sharing your story, Margaret, and I’m saddened that the DoD has chosen to treat you this way.
Is this one of the reasons you’re having trouble finding employment? I don’t know a lot about the airline situation these days, but qualified A & Ps don’t grow on trees. You’d think there would be openings, at least occasionally.
Margaret, I add my kudos and thanks for this eye-opening, brave, educational, and infuriating piece.
I’m sure it’s part of the reason, though it isn’t a problem in a robust economy. I’m not an A&P. I’ve only got the airframes half of my license. I’d have to go to school to get the powerplants part and the problem with that is I still have to eat and pay rent and the schools want money plus a lot of specialized tools, (a boroscope for example!), in order to attend.
Thanks Sharkbabe!
Thanks for sharing your story, Margaret, although I admit it’s one I wish I hadn’t had to read. I do hope some good things start to happen for you–you certainly deserve it.
You’re welcome and thanks!
Klnefelters syndrome indeed! Why should we allow science, rationality and humanity stand in the way of fear, ignorance and brutality?
“I spent the next 101 days working flight deck operations in the day and supervising the airframes shop at night, plus standing a couple of watches during that time.
Amazing the level of their hypocrisy. I hope that the DADT repeal leads to a re-examining of “less than honorable” discharges for more-than-honorable service, and cases like yours being re-opened, and full benefits restored with an appropriate apology.
Mwah!
Science! Bah! Humbug!
That would be nice but I won’t hold my breath. I’ve not found anybody willing to take on my case, although upgrading discharges for drug convictions is relatively routine. I guess have teh trans is just too icky to touch!
Thanks for encouragement Kelly. :)
Come here often, sailor?
So nice to see ya on da front page.
Booyah!!
Your story is one more reason for me to continue my non pledging of allegiance to the flag; “liberty and justice for all” is an outright lie.
Stay strong.
Margaret,
Thank you for sharing your story. Truly awful, the things our country does to some of the people who want to serve it.
Margaret, the other thing I wanted to say to you is that I recognize, respect and honor you as a nádleehí (Navajo) or winktje (Lakota) person. The English translation typically accepted is two-spirit. I am sorry that the fruits of your work and the supports you were promised in exchange for your service were denied you. I would also like to share with you that these names that are created like “syndrome” and “disease” are the logical products of a view of a particular philosophical approach to medicine. In the history of American medicine (allopathy– which became the established view after the American Civil War), the story of the characterization of “Hodgkins” “Disease” is a famous instance upon which many graduate students were trained within the research community as it teaches a lesson about understanding the nature of perception in scientific enquiry, observation, the nature and generation of artifacts, and the value of acknowledging and accounting for antecedents (at the time folks were starting to think about the impacts of technology as well [link: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2589507/pdf/yjbm00059-0088.pdf ]). At some later point the persons that created the labels of “Hodgkins” “Disease” have even said that they made a mistake and have discovered that those views were flawed (at the moment I am not seeing a recitation of this in print for your examination). The general public, if it even hears such admissions, hears them long after the journal articles are published, the grants are renewed, the text books written on these premises are institutionalized and taught, and even after careers have come and gone. This is a political reality found throughout our society not limited to medicine.
I do want to tell you about another two-spirit activist, Michelle Zamora (link: http://www.turtlewomenrising.com/about-us.php ), who works with Eli PaintedCrow. Eli PaintedCrow is also a boardmember of ServiceWomen.Org (SWAN) (link: http://www.servicewomen.org/SwanPage.asp?PLink=1027&Hding=About ). This eye-opening GRITtv panel with Laura Flanders (http://www.grittv.org/2009/03/20/the-lonely-soldier), shows a bit of what motivated a person as Eli to her action. You and they continue to expose a pattern of injustice and harm to people. I think the investigation and correction of this should continue. Also, reparation should be made to those harmed including giving former service members all their benefits. Obviously there is resistance but I see this realignment inevitable as we are already in this process together. I will continue to send you good thoughts in all of this.
jeez Margaret, I needs to hug you more (((Peg!)))
(((Margaret))), thank you for sharing this. I second what DW wrote.
Your courage, strength, humanity and goodness are indeed admirable.
I wish all good things – for the person you are and the injustices done to you.
Same here, Margaret. I know I don’t ever say much but I’m pulling for you.
This post ought to be included in an anthology of LGBTQO experiences. It is *so* important to make being XXY relatable as a human experience instead of some abstract sexual perversion heaped with derision.
I’m glad you’ve found the Lake a safe place to post this. And I’m so very proud to be part of a community that embraces *our* brilliant Margaret, exactly as she is.
Peg what a heart breaking story for a Patriot! I served in the 60′s and I am sure some of of colleagues were gay but it really meant anything to any of us. I do know how vindictive military types can be.
It is a good step forward today but until every citizen can be who they be who they truly are…
Best wishes Peg I hope you can find gainful employment so you can pursue your dreams in life.
Thank you for sharing your story, you are very brave and I am sure you have gained many more friends here at the Lake with this diary ☺ ☺
I wish I had been able to say to Margaret what you have said to her so eloquently, yellowsnapdragon. Amen.
Thanks for all of the great comments and support everybody! It means a lot to me! And thanks for the promotion pullers of levers!
Margaret,
I’ve appreciated your comments for years and have to confess, I’ve never stopped long enough to say a simple thank you for being here.
So…thank you for being here.
As I read your post again, I have to say that this may be the bravest post I’ve ever read since I first joined the FDL community over 5 years ago.
Brava!
Margaret,
Because of reactionary small mindedness in so much of our population, you entered the world with some obstacles to overcome that most of us cannot imagine. I must say, based upon your letter, you’ve not only survived, but thrived, and I find your story – and your ability to tell it – compelling.
I wish you every success and much happiness in the years to come. Your character, intelligence and courage are inspirational. Godspeed…and thanks for your service to our country, Margaret.
thank you for sharing your story with us, margaret, and the reminder that there is still work to be done. until all of us are equal, none of us are
recommended and tweeted
Thanks RBG. I wish I felt like I deserved to be called brave. I guess I must be because so many people seem to think I am but trust me, I spend most of my time terrified. I can’t let it paralyze me though!
Thanks Suze!
Thanks, Margaret, for your double courage (the second is being open and honest in telling your own story publicly), and helping us understand a very, very important way in which this victory remains partial, a step forward only.
Really an essential story, and I’m sure you can see how much we all appreciate you telling it. I know I needed to hear it, and I bet others feel the same way.
I’ve never been very good at expressing my reaction to effusive praise, it’s a symptom of my (very mild) form of autism. I’ve spent a great deal of effort learning to overcome everything from a stutter to an almost paralyzing shyness. But I’ve tried to express my thanks for the great responses I’ve gotten here as best as I can, though it makes me very self conscious. I want you guys to know how very much it means to me and how much I value each of you and how wonderful I think it is that Jane created the FDL community and that I found it.
Thanks to all!
Ain’t that the truth!
Recommended diary, thanks Margaret. Gad, I wish you (and every other unfairly discharged service member) could sue the bastards for financial reparation (and win).
Freedom, equality and justice are only ideals, this has never been a free, equal or just country. It would be nice if we could at least get our fellow Americans to agree they are ideals worth striving for and not just some hollow mockery we drag out every July.
Margaret
Thanks so much for having the courage to write this. When I wrote my hostages post I actually paused, trying to figure out what the heck DADT “repeal” meant for transgendered people (I met and spent some time w/Autumn a year ago and she taught me enough to make me pause, but not enough to figure it out, I guess). But I very consciously talked only about gay men and women because–well–that’s it, right?
As you pointed out in comments…
This reads like you’ve written it–in your head at least–1000 times. It’s really really helpful, cause there’s so much less understanding or knowledge of what it’s like to be transgendered, I think, than to be gay. There’s so much education to be done (and I include myself in that).
But also because it’s just a superb piece. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Margaret,
My dad’s a WW-2 Navy vet. Rather than discharging him, they sent him to college on an NROTC scholarship. He’d been through boot camp and electrician’s school and made E-5 in 30 months, serving in the Pacific Fleet.
He parted ways with the Navy when the LtC in charge of the NROTC detachment pulled a Sunday inspection. Dad said he went to the NCOIC (an old CPO) and said, “I don’t have to put up with this shit. We weren’t treated like this in the fleet. I’m gone.” The Chief said, “I wondered when one of you girls was going to grow some hair.”
Listening to my son’s stories about the Army in Afghanistan, my dad’s stories and your story (and others) just confirm that the military can be a very dysfunctional place.
Rather off that topic, as an XXY you don’t have a karyotype gender (which you already knew, of course). XXY are usually phenotypic males, but gender is much more than the simple genetic construct the authoritarians would like it to be.
Thanks for sharing your story with us, and I hope you find employment soon.
Margaret, have you asked an attorney if your XXY karyotype has any bearing on the matter?
(((Margaret)))
Thank you for your courage and for the truth.
Thanks for sharing Margaret!
A crisis for our ignorant elite would be running out of people to hate on. And actually, ignorant is probably too soft a term because they should know better. We’re not gonna make it as a nation if we fail to come together.
Wow. My heart goes out to you. I am at a loss for words. You obviously have great courage.
Damn. The USAF had more than its share of chicken shit assholes when I was in, even down to the homophobic christianists, but this is way over the top.
It does take strength to fight through the crap at all levels
Margaret,
I am way late to this post and got the heads-up from Attaturk’s post this morning.
All I can say is that I have always admired your writing, tell it like it is style. You have survived some awesome trials with your military career.
You are a very talented writer and I truly hope that you can find the type of employment that you are looking for.
I know this has been expressed many times, but I am really happy that you chose to splash in the lake with us.
Thanks for the input. Ya know, I haven’t really written it 1000 times in my mind but it seems like that because I have written in my book. As my Navy experience takes up 4 chapters there, this has been pretty brutally edited for length. Again, thanks for the nice words. They mean a lot coming from you.
Thanks, Margaret. An inspiring and enjoyable read.
Margaret, can you write to me? womanphoenix AT yahoo DOT com. Thanks!
Thank you Margaret, for enlightening us, and for shining a light on the inadequacies of the DADT repeal. So much more to be done!
You are, IMHO, a most courageous individual.
You’ve got incoming Phoenix Woman.
Jeez, Margaret; you helped my heart grow at least another size today. I’m bookmarking this to keep and share. It never occurred to me that the transgendered wouldn’t be covered in the repeal. It looks as though we’re all loving being educated; I hope sharing has been good for you, too. Love to you. Seriously.
x2. Thx for this brave and illuminating diary.
My dear Margaret,
This is information that *everyone* needs to know. May I cross-post this diary to my (feeble) blog? I maintain that there is no story like first-hand to let people know how the world is for other folks.
Oh, my feeble blog is http://hotflash-hotflash.blogspot.com/ (can’t seem to find a ‘link’ button).
(((((Margaret))))). And if (when?)* I win the lottery, I am *so* drafting you for my think-tank, been planning it for a couple of years.
* I am such an optimist! I worked for Obama!
Umm…this is really a personal kind of thing. Let me think about it, okay? I’ll drop by your blog and let you know. Cool beans? :)
Margaret…
Simply…all love to you…
may everyone who reads your diary carry a piece of your struggle for dignity and respect, into their lives, and carry your message to all who need to hear it and most importantly…FEEL it!
Thank you for being who you are, and bless you for just being!
Thanks. You know, one of the things that just rolls off when talking about the community is the LGBT without really thinking about what that means. Each of those groups are distinct and have their own issues but it seems like the T is always left behind, the freckled step child among the red headed step children so to speak.
Thanks for sharing your story, Margaret. So sorry for how you have been treated; good for you for sharin the reality of what can happen when you’ re a “T”. Keep your chin up; you have a lot who support you fully here. Best to you. Om shanti.
Thanks. Yeah, I think I’m only just beginning to plumb the depth of that support. It’s very humbling.
Thanks to you, none of here will ever forget the T now, Margaret.
The coolest!
You’re braver and tougher than I am, Margaret. The Navy’s injustice and hypocrisy is stunning, if not surprising. I hope your situation improves, and I hope you find a lawyer who will sue the Navy’s collective ass off. Thanks.
The Navy, 230 years of Tradition, unhampered by progress…
Wow Margaret, just Wow… :)
Thank you, Margaret for posting this. It is so important for people to understand, and you created that understanding.
I’ve been here 3x today and just now getting around to add my kudos for your work here, for your ongoing courage in the face of struggle. For the fact that you never give up, are always ready to contribute, and for your love of a cat!
I wish you all the best and look forward to how we can work together to make your life (specifically) and all similar lives better.
La lucha continua.
(((((Margaret)))))
{{{Margaret}}}
Late to the gathering but I wanted to add my kudos, appreciation, and admiration to what everyone has already said. And I am so sorry you have been treated so badly.
Brava!
You are one amazing person ~ so glad I have been able to meet you on the tubz.