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It’s disgusting that’s what it is. They’re doing it right there in front of your kids. Right in the f*x*ng conjugating classroom, right in front of the f*x*ng conjugating kids. It’s worse than miscgenation voting for people from Kenya, it’s worse than man on dog, those dirty f*x*ng hippies are f*x*ng conjugating right there in the f*x*ng conjugating classroom in front of the f*x*ng conjugating kids. Ought’nt to be allowed doing it in the conjugating classroom in front of the f*x*ng conjugating kids. It’s not adjective I’m verbing you! Adverb is what [possessive determiner] [endearment] and [first person singular] verb that is adverb!
It was lying beside me, [verbing] quietly. I could hear its steady breathing and the soft sounds of its [verbing]. I began to get [adjective], so I turned to it and put my [body part] around it. It looked into my [body part] and [verbed] me with its [body part]. I began to [verb] and to [verb] its [body part] with mine. It moaned and said, “I [emotion] it when you [verb] me like that.”
There was the sound of its [adjective] [body part] rubbing against my [body part] and the slow rhythm of our [verbing] each other. It was [adverbly] [verbing] me and I began to [verb]. I saw its [color] [body part] and grew more and more [emotioned]. I knew I would soon [verb]. My skin [verbed] with excitement, and I felt tiny [nouns] shooting up and down my [body part]. I
said, “Faster, faster my [endearment], I’m going to [verb]! Yes, I’m [Verbing], I’m [VERBING]! [VERB] ME! Oh [endearment], you are the [SUPERLATIVE]! I [emotion] you.”
We lay together in silence, and then got up and ate three entire packets of [nouns].
Source: VERBing Me Softly – B Janice Perry, from In Stitches: Censored Erotica (Indiana University Press, 1991)
Oh gross! You mean they actually PAY dirty f*x*ng hippies to do it with dead languages right there in the f*x*ng conjugating classroom, right there in front of the f*x*ng conjugating kids? Save us Jesus Rupert! Thank you Jesus Rupert for f*x*ng F*x N*ws.
markfromireland
72 Comments
Inspired by Edward Teller’s posting here Arab Fifth Column Al Jabr Attacks U.S. Schools.
mfi
So. What if I don’t want to click on the video? Even if I did, suppose I did not understand?
Spell it out, please. Or not. Up to you. Past experience suggests you can write in intelligible English.
Ah, by not clicking and watching the vid, you show yourself to truly be the Barbarian you claim. Try it, you might even find it educational AND humorous.
Okay. Let’s see, sort of an ancient language, mixed with Portugese and a groundhog.
Yeah. I think I got this.
1. The road to Hell is paved with adverbs.
2. No, wait, this is better. Here’s a competition for FOX, only it’s really about good writers pretending to be bad, so don’t think FOX can win it:
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2012win.html
I just now read the tag and cheated.
As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
Right?
Marmots!
Hampsterdance.
Aw man!I’m so disappointed that I didn’t get here first! There are so few chances to show off my Latin! (er, well, what bits of Latin I remember after 4 decades…)
Love the post, love the title, love the artwork…now I guess I should watch the video.
Click, OB! You don’t need to understand when you begin. You should understand by the end.
Love all the artwork!
{{{{mfi}}}}
been in Anchorage, covering today’s Idle No More event, and getting syllabi printed and posted for classes, that start next week.
more and more obvious this entire university and higher education idea was meant to keep FOX from having the audience they deserved.
and hearing tribal leaders at INM, talking about their 10,000 years of culture, when the world was so obviously created in 6 days, 6,000 years ago.
one heresy after another.
what will be the next one …. ?
No, just older. No older than MFI, probably. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable.
He knows how to freakin’ type. And he’s not stupid.
LOL! Recc’d.
Next thing you know, they’ll be teaching wee tots:
Mica, mica parva stella
Miror quaenam sis tam bella
Besides, the buffering sucks. I’m impatient and unwilling to pay more than $40/mo for Internet access.
Unable, as well.
OK. I waded through the video.
It makes no sense whatsoever to me. What’s your point?
One branch of my family fought for Cromwell, so you need to be very, very, basic.
They still won, though.
Not mixed with Portugese, although Portugese is the closest modern language to it.
mfi
You particularly will enjoy the video :-).
mfi
I always thought that was one of the darker scenes in that particular film. I love the book titles. The sad thing is that even 40 years ago an awful lot of tots would have been able to translate
Mica, mica parva stella
Miror quaenam sis tam bella
Without even having to pause for thought. I notice the same deterioration in basic literacy. And it gets worse – on a recent trip to the UK I had an undergraduate tell me in all seriousness that they “can’t read joined up writing” I told them to learn. As Philip’s original post makes clear even very basic numeracy is fair game.
mfi
I was emailing back and forth with Ian Welsh about something recently and he made what I think is a very telling point:
He’s right they are but they’re not only the rewards they’re also the building blocks. I read your original post with horror but not with any surprise whatsoever. You’re almost right when you say that:
I’d put it differently I’d say that your university and education in general is meant to keep FOX from having the submissive and obedient peasantry that they want. A well-educated citizenry is the last thing your ruling class want. Your ruling class need a few (very few) narrowly educated technocrats and technicians to keep things ticking over . But a general citizenry who can actually enquire, make deductions, argue a point logically, spot fallacies, carry a project through, nope they don’t want that. That’s the last thing they want.
mfi
I’ve never rewarded laziness and am not about to start with you.
mfi
Poltroon. What a copout. I insult your heritage, and you don’t even respond with fire in your belly? Have you no pride, man? And, I’m both sorry and proud to say, part of that heritage is my own.
I’m American, you see.
I suppose you don’t. Mercenaries only serve the king’s coin. And the coin of your conquerors, at that. I’d take you in a minute, with the right weapons. I watched the video.
It’s not impressive. Not at all. IMHO.
In a more elegant age…oh, well. A title in the language of a dead empire does not suffice. The Romans are long gone, and good riddance. Do you even understand what I’m saying? You’re Arab neighbors do, for sure.
Caupona stat in oppido, in oppido
Qu’amatus sedet otio, otio
Et vinum vitu mimino bibit
Nec umquam mei meminit.
(I probably got a lot of that wrong – it’s been a long, long time.).
Say it in American English. The Romans are dead. Conquered by their own failings, and probably your own ancestors.
Besides, FDL is not the place for Latin.
Exactly. Hence the careful commitment to keeping us all ignorant.
Tell that to Tejanarusa!
Hey, at least you’re trying. Some would apparently rather that you didn’t. You’ll know the type — they want to pretend that their shortcomings are actually virtues.
Good for you! I myself am pitiful, I only know English and German, and the latter is very rusty.
Aiiiiieeee!
Sliding by on my way to bed… I very much enjoyed the video!
I don’t understand the hostility to Latin. It’s a lovely language, and it’s still around in a lot of places. And knowing it makes it easy to catch on to say, Portuguese, Spanish, Italian, and even Romanian. Also, of course, bunches of English words.
Hi, PW! (you give me credit I didn’t actually earn, but thanks)
Falling asleep. Thanks for the pleasantry made in my favorite branch(es) of knowledge. Good night!
Wot? (It’s too cold to go to bed.)
It is my firm belief that my ancestors actually got themselves conquered by Rome, some of them anyway, and so good ol’ American English stands on the shoulders of good ol’ ancient Latin, and for kids to really appreciate the former, it would be so great if they could get an inkling of
There is a tavern in the town, in the town
And there my true love sits him down, sits him down
And drinks his wine…(funny, I remember the Latin better than the English!)
…And never, never thinks of me!
Fare thee well for I must leave you,
Do not let the party grieve you
But remember that the best of friends must part, must part;
Adieu, adieu, kind friends, adieu, yes adieu,
I can no longer stay with you, stay with you,
But hang my heart on a weeping willow tree
And may the world go well with thee!
Vale nam nunc ab… It’s a real tongue twister.
[to have been sung in concert with departed comrades wherever they be]
Yeah, it’s been more than 4 decades for me as well – and about the main thing I remember was my teacher at the small military school would occasionally go into Knute Rockne impressions (he’d had Rockne as a graduate instructor when he worked on a masters from Notre Dame)
arma virumque cano trojae qui primus ab oris italiam fato profugis laviniaque venit
Rarely get a chance to trot that out. My son, who did high school in Yorkshire, assures me that a good knowledge of Latin is essential so as to get a good job with the Romans.
Haven’t watched the video (I will!) but anyone with an iPhone and Siri should ask her “how much wood…”
You can ask a couple of times and get different answers. Very funny.
Love the post!! Some people have no sense of humor (Ohio Barbarian, I’m looking at you).
And those who don’t find it interesting and/or appropriate can just go away quietly and read another thread.
My Latin classes were in the 50s. I iz old.
A great latin lesson . . .
Of course, this was ages ago, when waving swords at your students private parts was more acceptable, but now that the unions and the hippies have disarmed the faculty . . .
No wonder it’s harder to find good latin teachers these days.
Oh bravo, hpschd! I only remember
‘arma virumque cano
Troiae qui primus ab oris…’
Fun to just disturb the brain’s cobwebs, as if you leave it for a while you gain further entry – pretty sure it should have been ‘amator’ in my post, and ‘risu’ instead of ‘vitu’. And Peterr is right, the endings are the first to go.
Veni, vidi, velcro.
Philosophers’ World Cup Soccer Monty Python
A retired professor of Latin, University of Mich, IIRC, told us a joke from his high school days.
O, kiddo! Oh, kid-dearie! oh, kissus! O, kissus some! For those if us who had the revised Oxford or other pronounciation that treated the double c’s as hard and the i as short.
But I shall stop lest this thread begins to decline…
One more thing, sorry. Though it’s been half a century now, I can still hear my grade 9 Latin class chanting ‘amaBO, amaBIS, amaBIT, Abimus, Abitis, aBUNT’. We were always taught to put the amphasis where it belonged. Thank you, Sister Marie Mark.
LMAO! Our grade 9 class did a skit that started with a conga-line of girls with cardboard swords and salad bowls on our heads chanting, “Veni, vidi, vici!” Broke the teacher up, bless her. Thanks, Mark, for the thread, and all, for the memories.
PS OB, much enjoy your comments. — My folks, barbarians all, learned a bit of Latin from the (conquering) Romans, and a *lot* of English later on from the conquering English. The Romans are, as you point out, pretty well gone, but last night a Ceylonese lady (her family left before it became Sri Lanka) told me quite solemnly that the English had done a great many things for Ceylon, the thing she mentioned was theaching them English. Presumably so they could get a good job in the civil service? My mind, it boggled a bit.
The post-match party for the winners must have been quite the celebration.
Logged back in to thank you, Crane-Station. Laughed myself silly.
Well, silly – er.
Me too, that thing was hilarious.
The redneck contingent – or the “useful fools” as your ruling class call them in unguarded moments.
mfi
It being a long time is why if you ever visit Saturday Chorale you’ll find I provide translations. Actually though you didn’t do at all badly. Gratulor tibi :-)
mfi
The video is great fun – I thought you’d enjoy it.
mfi
Illud iterum dicere potes! (You can say that again) :-)
mfi
Between the attacks from the left and the attacks from the right it’s amazing standards haven’t declined further which is the point both Philip and I are making.
I’ve always enjoyed ‘Life of Brian’ and play it from time to time, that particular sketch resonates with anyone who sat through Latin grammar classes – such as the Monty Python team.
mfi
It’s happening to all of us at the rate of sixty seconds per minute. The choice is between growing old gracefully in the culturally approved manner or disgracefully like me and have a lot of fun doing it. :-)
mfi
Also, parsing greek verbs. :)
Them Jesuits terrified me mighty fine, never knew which irregular verb the priest would demand conjugated:
“Mr. Canfield, provide είναι, 2nd person plural through all moods and tenses please. You may begin, now.”
Don’t stop – decline and fall is where it’s at! :-)
mfi
One of my schoolboy memories is of the class genius conjugating away in Greek realising his mistake …. “whoops sorry Father wrong dead language” and continuing seamlessly in Latin. He’s now a neurosurgeon and hopefully somewhat less absent-minded.
mfi
Dear Mark,
I don’t speak and have never learned Latin, but that video gave me big smiles.
I love humor. Big or small.
Thank you so much.
And, I could mention something about folks who only want to diss, but I just got back from sharing the soup and meatballs that I made earlier today with the homeless folks I know in the ‘hood, so I shant.
Amplectibus osculisque. If I’m incorrect on this, blame teh Google.
Marky!!
Especially since brain surgery is typically done on an awake, aware and responsive patient, so he or she can hear you if you say “oops”!
Toda Gallia es divisa partes tres.
oops, Toda Gallia est divisa in partes tres
Ah, the Irish have a way with words and life!
I imagine you could tell stories that would curl your hare. ;-)
Try “Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres” :-)
:-) The moment I saw that picture I knew I wanted it.
mfi
It’s a fun video glad you enjoyed. I don’t actually worry about OB and his ilk. If he wants to behave like redneck trash let him – his immediate resort to trash behaviour such as ad hominem and kindergarten level insults is the clearest possible demonstration that he’s wrong and I’m right. He’s trash who behaves as trash because he’s incapable of arguing logically. It actually suits me rather well to have him behave that way – as it puts people off not only him but also his ludicrous ideology.
mfi
Ha. I saw something on facebook that reminded me of this thread.
We know that when one loses one sense, another sense will be heightened. So, it stands that when one loses a sense of humor, their sense of self importance goes sky high.
Great observation, demi.
I am sure the phrase began, “Omnia Gallia est…” but certainly won’t argue, since that was more than 50 years ago.
Fun thread, mfi!
I can’t begin to understand Barbarian’s complaints here, but as for calling a member here ‘trash’, I think you’re quite out of line.
Management has said that they allow you ‘a certain latitude. etc.’, but I do wish you’d take this back or apologize.
George Carlin needs the credit for that, eh?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acLW1vFO-2Q
Cheers!
Oh indeed.
mfi
‘Fraid not try here Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres but after a 50 years hiatus doing your back translation literally word for word is certainly allowable :-).
I had fun this afternoon reading some of my now more than 40 years old Asterix comic books to some of my grandchildren using that sentence to start off their stories was one of Goscinny and Uderzo’s hallmarks. (Your comment got me wondering so a quick google search and … yes you CAN read Asterix online – http://asterixonline.info/comics/index.php?manga=Asterix_Comics&chapter=01 The link is to the excellent English translated versions. If you’re not familiar with them have fun!)
Yes a fun a thread meant as someone on Philip’s original thread put it as a “bookend”.
mfi
Not familiar with George Carlin’s work (although I’ve heard the name here on FDL often enough) as we don’t receive American TV in either Denmark or Irak. Thanks for the link I enjoyed watching.
mfi
I am not even remotely interested in either your opinion or your wishes in this matter wendy.
mfi
And I’m not interested in yours, Mark. Nice comeback, though, no matter how inaccurate it is. Good to know you still have some fire in the belly.
Hope it gives you heartburn.
Your diary entry is still pretentious crap, though. Are you sure you’re not British?