You have the temerity to say that I’m talking to you out of jejunosity? I’m one the most june people in all of the Russias!

Thank you for the picture of that nice lady, which cancels out the photo of High Beams Hugh Hewitt you foisted on us the other day.

Just when I thought I had brain-bleached that image away, you go and whip out ‘ole High Beams Hugh again.

Nasty.

DAMN YOU!

I clicked. I read. And now my brains are oozing out of my eardrums and I may not be able to speak proper English again.

I know I should be offended at an essay entitled “What are Women For”, but I don’t read Gobbledygook so I came away confused and disoriented…

I took some time this afternoon to watch the Denver game. A few observations:

Tebow appears to be physically awkward. What is that funny twitchy-step thing he does in the pocket? He does not run with any sort of anticipation or grace; he kind of throws himself forward and hopes for the best. I did not see him throw one nice spiral, complete or incomplete. Based on only one game, Denver simply does not seem to have any break-out offensive potential. They managed to suck the life out of every possession, score or not.

In the end, Denver wins because of Denver’s defense. They went into the half without scoring a point; they won in OT on a forced turnover. He’s a place keeper and if Denver commits they better hope he he’s got some potential for growth as an athlete.

I’m sorry, I haven’t been following this “scandal”. What exactly is supposed to happen if us God fearing Americans end up eating Halal meat?

Because someone says some magic words while dispatching a turkey?

I seriously need to know, because this is one of the dumbest things I’ve ever read.

Wait until she finds out that the numbers we now use were brought to Europe in the 10th Century, by, that’s right: ARABS!!!! No wonder I have trouble balancing my checkbook. It’s poisoned by Hilal math.

As the son of a Teamster from the Jimmy Hoffa/Frank Fitsimmons era, I’d advise Mr. Snuggy wearing Brentwood-living no-lipped dickwad to back the fuck up.

What a douche bag.

(With all due respect to feminine hygiene products)

If this wasn’t so infuriating, the utter lack of self awareness would be comical.

This business of “negotiating a minimum settlement” is precisely why the cost of health care is skyrocketing. And I am sure this tool not only rails against the Insurance Mandate, but will continue to assert that he is living a self sufficient and libertarian lifestyle.

While our insurance premiums go up.

Douche Bag.

A girlfriend once told me that her ideal man has a 12″ tongue and can hold his breath for 20 minutes.

I know, thoroughly disgusting in this context.

Blame it on Mr. Grey Goose.

(Remember kids, don’t drink and blog!)

Call me a masochist, but I’m thinking midnight movie at he Nuart in West Los Angeles. Sneak in a hip flask of Stoli, double bill it with “Plan Nine From Outer Space” and I’ve got Saturday night covered.

But then again I have no life…and I drink too much.

You know when they say “Yeah, but it’s a dry heat”?

Up here in El Lay, we know what that means.

I’ll take 120 dry degrees in Palm Springs over 85 soggy LA degrees any day!

Thus far, female empowerment often seems to have led to more sex selection, not less.

And in the next f***ing sentence:

In many communities, she writes, “women use their increased autonomy to select for sons,” because male offspring bring higher social status.

And why, pray tell, do empowered women feel compelled to select for gender…

I have no problem with a well reasoned argument from the other side but lazy thinking in the New York Times is infuriating.

“Do not forget who made the next 18 months possible. Men who laid down their lives at places like Gettysburg, Chancellorsville, Belleau Wood, Midway, Peleileu, the Chosin Resevoir, Khe Sanh, and Fallujah, made it possible for us to fight for the life of our country.”

Walter Sobchak much?

(For all of us Big Lebowski fans.)

I’m looking forward to the “My Mom’s a MILF” episode, where Sarah shows up for a visit. “As luck would have it”, Bristol and Tripp are out shopping for his first 30.06 hunting rifle, and the guys are left to entertain Mom. You can guess where it goes from there.

Todd makes a cameo appearance as he videotapes from inside the closet.

OMG I could only last nine seconds, and now I want to kill myself…

I clicked on the “that guy” link and as the page loaded I was suddenly terrified at the possibility of the infamous Hugh “Greg Marmalarde” Hewitt wet tee-shirt man-boobs photo coming up.

Yech.

You made me click, and now my brain hurts…

Sloppy reasoning, but what we’ve come to expect. For example, smarter folks than I have suggested that the promiscuity and happiness cause/effect that D asserts are most likely the exact opposite, rendering the entire premise of his column hollow. I would guess that the study he cites connecting emotional fulfillment and sexual activity doesn’t even suggest the correlation upon which Douthat hangs his entire conclusion; it’s just more of his trademark magic thinking.

This guy has a column in the New York f***ing Times?

And when, oh when, will Mr. D (or any “social conservative” for that matter) write a column decrying the societal impact of the obesity epidemic in this country? If I were a betting man I’d wager that the costs are a lot more than the effects of teenage sexual activity.

I’m sorry, but I am so looking forward to next two years of Republicans trying to out-stupid each other in an effort to look as authentic and down-home-real-Americanny as Palin. Every time she opens her mouth she manages to say something more ignorant than the last.

As Flaubert said, the three essentials for happiness are to be stupid, to be selfish, and to have good health; but without the first the other two are useless.

So she has that going for her.

I always thought “Timothy” was about having to eat a beloved pet dog. While I was thinking this, Jonah Goldberg’s photo was visible from the previous post. You can imagine where it went from there. Not good…

And while I think of it, you made a great point about the whole American Exceptionalism thing with regards to Loadpants. Let’s see: fat, sloppy, built an entire career out of slurping at the teat of nepotism… yes indeed, it makes me want to yell “America! Fuck yeah!”