• ChrisVosburg commented on the blog post Outro…

    2013-08-23 08:28:01View | Delete

    So long Tom, and if you’re ever in Hollywood around 5pm, stop by the Prime Time Pub and ask for Chris so I can thank you proper by standing you a drink. A non-alcoholic drink, if I recall correctly.

    I’m gonna leave the bookmark where it is for posterity’s sake.

  • Thanks for assembling a number of reasons I’m gonna miss ya, Tom. I think. No, actually, now I feel worse.

  • ChrisVosburg commented on the blog post The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart

    2013-06-07 12:09:01View | Delete

    Just gonna finish my coffee. Yep, finishing my coffee.

  • ChrisVosburg commented on the blog post The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart

    2013-06-07 09:32:30View | Delete

    Calm down.

    In the meantime, enjoy this entry from my “closed craptioning” file, in which semi-literate closed caption composers scratch their heads and try to guess at what is being said:

    In “The First Act”, which relates the story of the first collaboration between Hart and Kaufman, Kaufman imparts this advice to Hart: “Each writer must be a Don Quixote…”

    Which the closed captioner dutifully typed up as “Each writer must be a donkeyhotey…”

  • ChrisVosburg commented on the blog post The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart

    2013-06-06 11:29:34View | Delete

    re the paypal freezeout, I’m reminded that back in the sixties, readers of the Sierra Club Newsletter wrote to the Club to demand that it stop publication because, you know, dead trees.

  • ChrisVosburg commented on the blog post The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart

    2013-06-06 08:08:25View | Delete

    Glenn Greenwald writes of: being able to have research assistants and other needed resources to avoiding having to do the kind of inconsequential work that distracts from that which I think is most necessary and valuable.

    “Inconsequential work” like fact-checking. Fuck you, Glenn, and the Bradley Manning you rode in on.

  • ChrisVosburg commented on the blog post Juicebox Jesus: The Forsakening

    2013-04-29 14:51:25View | Delete

    Tebow headed for San Diego

    [pointing at your face] HAW, HAW!

  • ChrisVosburg commented on the blog post Moron Labe

    2013-04-23 19:31:58View | Delete

    Funniest Bonanza ep ever:

    You may recall that a fella charged with murder named OJ Simpson fled the city but decided to return, prompting a tedious coverage of the “White Bronco” trek back to town.

    Local station KTLA 5 showed the “breaking news” full screen, but also kept showing the Bonanza rerun they always ran at that hour in a window in a lower corner of the screen.

    Thing is, as an increasing number of cop cars began to follow OJ, the Cartwrights came barreling out of the Ponderosa ranch house and saddled up and rode off in the same direction as the full screen chase, making it look as if they were joining in the chase, and I didn’t think I’d ever stop laughing.

    KTLA didn’t use that gimmick ever again, I think.

  • ChrisVosburg commented on the blog post Moron Labe

    2013-04-23 11:39:06View | Delete

    But those old TV westerns always pan out the same way:

    In a typical Bonanza ep, a posse is assembled to go after a couple of escaped criminals, and there’s a young hothead in the bunch lookin’ ta put his first notch on his shooter.

    Despite fifteen or twenty clear indications that the young hothead is a loose cannon unfit to carry the saddlebags for this crew, the sheriff stupidly does not disarm him, and sure enough, when the wrong man is taken into custody (Adam Cartwright, in this instance), the lynching talk starts up right away, and the sheriff is disarmed by the hothead and a coupla other easily duped posse members.

    At the last moment, the truth is revealed, the hothead is rebuked, and everyone stands around staring at their shoetops saying, “gee, we’re sorry, Mister Cartwright.”

    Man, hasn’t Jeff Goldstein ever seen a damn Bonanza episode?

  • ChrisVosburg commented on the blog post Moron Labe

    2013-04-21 15:38:44View | Delete

    Lt Col Bateman’s guest posts are a wonderful contribution to Pierce’s already excellent blog, and he has been absolutely invaluable in patiently explaining what is so very wrong and so very stupid about what Jeff Goldstein and his fellow morons believe about this type of incident.

    Also, I’ve not heard a single resident of Boston express a sentiment similar to that which Goldstein drooled.

    Wonder why that is.

  • ChrisVosburg commented on the blog post Every Picture Tells A Story Don’t It

    2013-04-19 02:13:35View | Delete

    In other news, “Ding Dong! The Witch is Dead” is currently in the top ten on the UK Billboard charts, and no, I’m not kidding.

  • ChrisVosburg commented on the blog post Mommy and Daddy Fight Because You Are Stupid

    2013-04-03 16:08:09View | Delete

    Puns are the lowest form of humor, and the only appropriate response is a groan and a rolling of eyes. Personally, I’d also suggest a punch in the nose. It’s the low hanging fruit, but still, they are a favorite form of humor among my exasperating Mensa acquaintances.

    I dunno, maybe I’m just not intelligent enough to appreciate the humor, or maybe we need to fucking redefine “intelligence” or something, you know?

  • ChrisVosburg commented on the blog post Mommy and Daddy Fight Because You Are Stupid

    2013-04-03 11:24:33View | Delete

    Check out Dana Bash some time. Hey, Dana, why the long face?

    I have to go kill myself again.

  • ChrisVosburg commented on the blog post Mommy and Daddy Fight Because You Are Stupid

    2013-04-03 10:51:24View | Delete

    You can lead a whore toe culture, but–

    I am so sorry for that, I’m going to kill myself now.

  • ChrisVosburg commented on the blog post Talking Boob Talks About Boobs

    2013-03-18 12:19:52View | Delete

    I’m going to repeat something I said over at TPM after seeing a close up of Sarah there, and the observation is buttressed by the picture accompanying Tom’s post.

    Look closely: her eyeglasses most definitely do not have any amount of diopter; that is to say, they are not prescription lenses, and instead are just a prop to make her appear intelligent.

    Fucking pathetic.

  • Sure, whatever.

    Dan, you might wanna look up Mr Brevity, who can help you whittle down your thousand word posts into the dozen words that would express the same comment.

  • Government, supposedly our government, does screw people, frequently, and has a huge variety of tools with which to do it.

    This explains your anger, or more charitably, bewilderment, in a nutshell.

    You can’t see a number of people doing their jobs at the federal, state and local level, you can only see a simple-minded monolith: “the Government”.

  • Look, Dan, I don’t want to be an ass about this, but I do need to point out that your panic-stricken concerns are overwrought.

    Nobody gives a shit what you do, pal. Nobody is sitting in a room watching fifty video monitors. That’s not what surveillance cams are about.

    They record to DVR. In the aftermath of a crime, review of the vid they’ve collected is extremely useful in piecing it all together. As a result of this, it’s pretty much impossible now to kidnap a child at a shopping mall.

  • And hey, if you haven’t done anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about, right?

    This is a phrase traditionally employed in a complaint about illegal search and seizure.

    The fact you can’t see the difference between that and simply being looked at tells us more about you than about anything else.

    Again, there’s meds for this.

  • ChrisVosburg commented on the blog post Grifting Towards Bethlehem

    2013-03-12 12:41:10View | Delete

    The year that Bristol was pregnant with the immaculately conceived (while woozy from so many Bartles & James) baby Sled.

    And the following year, baby Mush.

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