Chunky Reese Witherspoon

Although I depended on TBogg to get me through the horror of the 2004 election, this is the most hysterical post I have ever read, bar none.

http://tbogg.firedoglake.com/2009/03/16/worst-penthouse-letter-to-the-editor-ever/

Can’t make the link work. Sorry about that.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/mar/14/pope-commissions-eau-de-cologne

Gosh, imagine if the bishops had banded together collectively and concentrated on getting pederasts in the church hierarchy convicted of their crimes. But no, they circled the wagons to protect the rapists of children. Now they’re circling the wagons to stem the flow of money to rape victims.

In other news <a href="Gosh, imagine if the bishops had banded together collectively and concentrated on getting pederasts in the church hierarchy convicted of their crimes. But no, they circled the wagons to protect the rapists of children. Now they're circling the wagons to stem the flow of money to rape victims.

I think the bishops are feeling revved up over the battle about the contraception mandate. They believe they can lead the glorious charge against religious oppression in the form of contraceptive availability and leave behind the stench of child molestation. After all, they've been to confession and their sins are forgiven. Who wants to dwell in the past worrying about who raped who?

In other news the pope proves that he is unquestionably one of the 1%.

I hope there is film…

There is only film if you buy his falafel. And he has to have a new one every time.

“Komen, she said, is phasing out ‘pass-through’ grants like those made to Planned Parenthood, which only provides basic breast cancer screening, not mammograms or treatment.”

Hmm. I wonder if Komen and manufacturers of mammogram equipment have any mutually beneficial arrangements.

Here’s the message I left on the Komen Facebook page.

“It’s not all about the money. Planned Parenthood has been beleaguered for years. So you decide to kick them in the teeth to suck up to Republicans. I will admit I never contributed to the Komen organization directly. Now I’m going to refuse to buy products that are branded with Komen’s pink badge of shame. Hear that General Mills? Yoplait? If it’s packaging is Komen pink, I’m reaching for another brand.”

Oh yes, sign me up to watch a Youtube of that.

Dear Rapist:

Thank you for the thoughtless gift. Unfortunately it was broken. Nevertheless I’m going lay my life on the line to preserve it and devote the next eighteen years of my life to its sustenance. To hell with my plans for graduate school and a meaningful relationship. My mission is to nurture to adulthood the result of your injecting sperm into me against my will, and you have not been identified by the law as the guilty party. Thank you so much for not killing me after you came. And how lucky was it that the EMTs took me to a Catholic hospital that refused to offer me any information about or access to the Morning-after pill?

If there’s one behavior we want to encourage, it’s the privileged attitude of those who think the government should not help bear the expenses of raising a child who was conceived outside of wedlock.

And yet the offspring of rape should SOMEHOW SOMEWAY be permitted enough resources to reach adulthood. When they can be ignored and excoriated for their shortcomings.

Do not feel sorry for Santorum because of his Google problem.

If I could speak with Mr. Santorum about the association of his last name with santorum I would say “I’ve always, you know, I believe and I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created — in the sense of linking your name to a disgusting substance — but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of fame, and accept what God has given to you.”

Please pass on a high five from me to your wife.

Here is what could never be imagined as a possibility if the 999 tax plan is adopted–a huge black market in goods and services that will make criminals of all the Americans who aren’t already criminals for using controlled substances. Could never happen here. Just look how we solved the problem of alcoholism by simply making it illegal to drink alcohol.

Why do people keep linking Santorum‘s name to that nasty site.

So, in Al Hartley’s cosmology, their tits get to Heaven first?

I am not so sure that in Al Hartley’s cosmology their tits don’t CONSTITUTE Heaven.

Yeah, I know, heterosexual females and homosexual males are left high and dry. Not the first time, is it?

You are so right, Owlbear.

It’s just like the angry senior who wants the government to keep its nasty hands off her Medicare.

OMG that movie is going to be unbearable. What kind of railroad tycoon asks for volunteers to test the load capacity of a bridge by driving a new train over it??!! I mean, that is why there are qualified engineers who perform inspections and load testing.

Or have they all gone Galt? They are all off congratulating themselves (fap fap) for not providing value that might possibly contribute to the well-being of poor or disabled person. I guess if they encountered an eccentric genie who offered them anything they asked for, with the proviso that the homeless person sleeping under the overpass would get twice as much, they’d opt for a beating.

So what is Dagny’s next move if the train makes it across the bridge? Will she assume that it has passed the only test it will ever need? Because life is all about the heroic moment, and not state and federal safety regulations.

Regulation? BORING!

Ah ha! Now that Julia Grey has solved the syntax, I believe I know to whom K-Lo referred.

. . . in a move that brings an end to what has been the source of growing speculation on Capitol Hill, Rubio has hired Cesar Conda as his chief of staff.

You’ve all been speculating about whom Rubio would choose, haven’t you? I know I haven’t. There is no clue as to what makes Conda a “very W.-picks-Cheney” kind of choice. Unless Conda was secretly tasked with finding someone else for the position. Or Conda is a nihilistic, cynical, utterly selfish bastard who doesn’t care about any elses’s future because he has none himself.

I am listed as an organ donor on my driver’s license, but my family has been instructed to refuse to donate if the recipient is Cheney. If they don’t know the recipient, and it later turns out to be Cheney, they have been encouraged to repossess the organ.

This information is good to have. I’m listed as an organ donor on my driver’s license, but I just told my son to say no if Cheney is the recipient.

What a blight on the opportunities open to those needing organ donations. Families have to do research to be sure Cheney won’t be the beneficiary.

I’m honored. I just couldn’t resist the cue!

There was a young girl from Wasilla,
Who sold herself as a moose killah.
Her failure to win
Didn’t wipe off her grin.
‘Cause her best trait was being a quittah!