• What a bunch of boneheaded motherfuckers … :D

    The economy is of course a no-brainer, but the system itself is by far the largest reason why people aren’t getting married. Especially the men. See, the nanosecond the Bush/Cheney regime, the Obama regime, and the rich “above-the-law” and “above-the-fray” never had to see the inside of a court room, the dock of The Hague, nor a prison cell for their various crimes, corruption, and malfeasance, an intuition that thrives on marriage and divorce started doing the Ickey Shuffle in broad daylight …

    *jukes to the left*
    Get some deadbeats!
    *jukes to the right*
    Get some deadbeats!
    *jukes to the left*
    Get some deadbeats!

    *spikes child support order* WHOOOHOOO!! YEAH!!!

    Gonna get some deadbeats today! YOWWWW!!!1!

    Yup, you guessed it: Friend of the Court. And lucky for them, not all of the delinquents that “The Great Depression II: Deadbeat Boogaloo” manufactured into existence are suicidal Iraqi/Afghani war veterans who came home to a pair of handcuffs for failure to appear in court while his ass was stop-lossed. There’s a burgeoning shower of Gen-X’ers and Millennials who — on top of racking up 5 figures in college debt — never saw the front lines, but are going be paying out the nose for the foreseeable future. Provided they don’t join those war vets in the Suicide Solution Sweepstakes …

    And Alan1x’s comment barely scratches the surface. Even if all the free (and commercial) porn dried up 5 minutes after I click “Submit Comment”, what the fuck is stopping anybody – MAN or WOMAN – from pulling up social media or a dating site, finding a cutie or hootie too far away for the fast walking stick (or within their own ZIP code), right-clicking their pictures, choosing “Save As”, slinging them bastards over to the Kindle or tablet, locking themselves up in the bathroom and … *DREEEEEEEEEEEET*?!?

    Nothing. Not a god damned thing! Just add IMAGINATION! :D

    And it’s not like there’s a law that states you have to tell ‘em! There’s no genteel way to de-brief the person you’ve masturbated to, is there?!? What are you gonna say to ‘em?!? Yooohooo, I got your pictures extra sticky this mornin’!!1! What if they were a Linux Mint VM hosting a fake profile?!? The scamsters on the other end will certainly be chortling over your confession (after they translate it). If I ever got a message like that on Facebook, my response would be a dry, “Thanks! I never noticed … ” before the triple take / computer monitor coffee baptism.

    Then I spent the day flattered as all hell … ;-)

  • Hooker Jay commented on the blog post Israel Moves to Become Formal Ethnocracy

    2014-11-25 21:48:14View | Delete

    Israel’s lumbering slouch towards fascism suddenly becomes an Ickey Shuffle …

    Good news, indeed! :D

  • Right on, Kevin. In the immortal words of Forrest Gumpenhopfer the Underworld Rhodes Scholar: “Power is as power does.”

  • And I will add: Institutions that did rate subprime mortgage backed securities as AAA in the first place shouldn’t have been allowed to exist past the expiration date on their credibility and stupidity. Alas, it’s easier to rid ourselves of an STD than it is to rid ourselves of Moody’s …

  • Hooker Jay commented on the blog post Looking for Firedoglake

    2014-10-23 22:32:36View | Delete

    You mean you DO censor Kevin?? What happened to NO Moderation that Jane announced years ago??

    Two words: signing statement. Bush taught ‘em well. ;)

    I’m not here often, and when I do turn up, I seldom have to comment because somebody will do that creepy-assed Jedi Mind Meld trick. Despite all that, Kevin banned me out of the blue and I didn’t know it for quite a while. Then I tried to leave a comment on one of his articles and noticed it wouldn’t save. Figured it was a forum bug that would fix itself. A week or two later, I get a message on Facebook from somebody else he banned. That’s when I started to put two and two together: I was banned by association. That association being bloodypitchfork!

    I threw Charter’s cable modem back at ‘em not long after that. For six months of down time, I haven’t missed much. No joke. Once or twice a month, I’d get online from the library. It has a 1 hour limit, and between reading Art Silber and Tarzie, I haven’t missed much.

  • Hooker Jay commented on the blog post Voters Like Democrats But Think They Are Incompetent

    2014-10-23 21:44:09View | Delete

    The Democrats aren’t incompetent they’re just …

    … piss poor excuses for independent WWE contractors. Motherfuckers deliberately lost the last mid-terms to “dogfood” Republicans. Before that, you had to turn on WWE programming to see somebody get their ass whipped by dogfood – whether it was a 10 pound sack being hefted by Stone Cold and whacked across The Rock’s back or Kibbles & Bits poured into a pie-crust pan and left on the catering table backstage for Mick Foley to slam Terri Funk’s face in!

    It’s the one thing Democrats really do well: disguising their treachery as bumbling.

    Hats off to them, they know what they’re good at and stick with it!

    As they say in Texas: Gotta be fucking smart to come off that god damned stupid!

    I wonder if Thomas Jefferson, who said a well-informed electorate was required for a Democracy to work, would have recognized today’s well, but mal-informed electorate?

    Recognize, hell! He’d shoot it before it multiplied further! :-)

  • Hooker Jay commented on the diary post VIDEO: Why Millennials Don’t Vote and What To Do About It {aTV 007} by Dennis Trainor Jr.

    2014-06-10 10:21:36View | Delete

    Boy, that Madame Guillotine is lookin’ mighty puuuuurty …

    She’d make a good fifty state solution! :)

  • Hooker Jay commented on the blog post Young People Are Heavily Aligned With the Democratic Party

    2014-03-29 09:45:54View | Delete

    I kinda like voting for people that have a chance to win so that I have a small amount of influence on the outcome of the election …

    But you don’t. You’re under the delusion that you honestly positively vote for your electors when the opposite is true: the electors pick and choose — like the Elder God from the Legacy of Kain video games — their most ripest and most malleable of “good servants” …

    Am I wacko or what?

    TO THE MOON, ALICE … uh, wait … we gotta make some room. Skootch the fuck over, y’all! :D

    *kicks the juke*
    (Warning: Very good, very loud, heavy metal – for the moonbat in all of us!)

  • Hooker Jay commented on the blog post Dissecting Obama’s Proposed NSA Reforms

    2014-03-28 12:40:19View | Delete

    This is the threat from within, ignored by the media …

    It’s impossible for the media to ignore that which they crave, are totally complicit in, and fully intend to beat us over the head with the State-sanctioned narrative. Straight up kayfabe/news-prevention 101 going on here. Vince McMahon sure taught ‘em well …

  • I don’t think this is feasible much less a threat to broadband gatekeepers. They’re biggest threat is coming from “cord nevers” i.e. a entire generation of people who never had cable and don’t want it because they get everything on Netflix, Amazon, Hulu, and Roku. However, with Netflix caving to Comcast and ponying up the quid for its service to be prioritized instead of throttled to kingdom come kinda offsets that a bit because one caved, they rest might.

    That still leaves the big guns – Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft. They have perfected bringing the arcade home. In the most stark and craven terms. For the longest time, the sole reason people bought game consoles was to stop feeding the machines – i.e the quarter munchers – and liberate themselves from the subscription-based business model that made and unmade the arcades. They could accept taking a hit on graphics quality and sound quality if the home experience was close as to arcade as possible given the limitations of the hardware.

    But with the Xbox360, PS3, and Wii, those bastards went right back to the subscription-based “Feed The Machine” mentality. Only this time, they’re chewing greenbacks instead of quarters, and the average video game today eats between 8 to 16 GB of a 25GB capacity Blue-Ray. Combined with firmware updates and streaming content, one thing is for certain: usage caps are not in their vested interests. If you’ve got a monthly 250GB usage cap on your Comcast or FiOS, and the next game by Hideo Kojima in the Metal Gear franchise is gonna eat a dual-layer BD or two, that’s quite a hit. And when those consoles can’t phone home for updates or authorization because you’ve hit the cap, the big console makers will be forced to start screaming at the broadband gate-keepers because the gamers are screaming at them.

  • Actually, the real shame is you now have to SUBSCRIBE to Usenet. ISPs years ago abandoned the idea of maintaining their own NNTP servers, and as they got swallowed up via consolidation, the big ISPs (i.e. Comcast, Charter, etc.) first outsourced NNTP access to Giganews or Highwinds and then that practice was terminated in recent years. Giganews and Highwinds can no longer make money from outsourcing contracts to ISPs – they gotta get it from end-users.

  • Hooker Jay commented on the diary post Why the Brennan/Feinstein/Reid Cage Match Isn’t No-Holds-Barred by Barry Eisler.

    2014-03-23 07:17:48View | Delete

    Does this sound like mortal combat?

    Well, it’s definitely Mortal Kombat. The aforementioned Hockacrats haven’t practiced the Hari-Kira – they perfected it.

  • I volunteer for the Lunette releaser’s job! Just make the blade duller than Billy Gate’s fucking wits so that it take 3 or more chops, and I’m a happy guy! :D

    And because it’s gonna be as appropriate for Bill Gates pretty soon as it was for Howard Hughes …

    Kansas – Closet Chronicles

  • Hooker Jay commented on the blog post Millennials Are Liberal but Not Democrats

    2014-03-09 00:20:09View | Delete

    The millennials are ripe for capture by someone like Rand Paul.

    They’re even more ripe for capture by someone with the politics of Big Bill Haywood and a truth-mongering rabble rousing mouth like Malcomb X or Martin Luther King. And whenever I’m their company and they hear me call the DNC a party a spineless house-wiggers who crave to serve rightwing Rand Paul plantation masters indefinitely while make them bankroll it, their reaction is *EXACTLY* like Faye Dunaway from “Network” in control room watching Howard Beale: their eyes light up and they bite their bottom lip.

    Of course, I get the occasional Purity Purging Partisan who gasps and bellyaches from the fainting couch over my using the term “house-wigger”, but I respond to that by asking the Millienials, “You know those black and white photos Howard Zinn published in his books depicting the government’s brutal response to Labor organization, the Haymarket affair, and anti Vietnam demonstrations?!? If you want your children and grandchildren to see movies of what the same government did to *YOU* — in 720p or 1080P HD and 7.1 digital Dolby Sound — and all because what *YOU* are willing to fight for, then tell these people to do what they’ve been doing since Saint Rawnie Ray Gun: Leave the fucking room. Because the fight starts today. And that generation didn’t just practice cowardly avoidance of taking things to the gutter for over 40 years. They perfected it!”

  • Hooker Jay commented on the diary post Black History Month, Fried Chicken and American Historical Ignorance by Nat Parry.

    2014-02-11 23:06:01View | Delete

    Well, you know – it’s much easier to rely on the ol’ stereotypical standbys of fried chicken and watermelon because whipping up smoked carp and chitlans is just soooooo complicated for the average school cafeteria staff. You ever see them consult the recipe for a glass of water?!? I have! *cringes*

  • Hooker Jay commented on the diary post Russell Brand at the Cambridge Union: “Make It Sexy” by cmaukonen.

    2014-01-23 05:42:20View | Delete

    Russell Brand is funny and talented. But he is wrong about VOTING.

    He is CORRECT on voting for the simple fact that both the left and right will manufacture out of thin air “Batshit Insane TeaBaggers” and “Off-The-Chart Leftist Moonbats” if they don’t exist in large enough numbers to generates reliable and predictable results. And you [...]

  • Hooker Jay commented on the diary post Another Lazy American… by xanthe.

    2014-01-21 22:18:06View | Delete

    You mentioned lazy many times, but a single mother of three on food stamps is also terribly irresponsible. Having kids you can’t support?

    Yeah, perish the thought … EverLast chastity belts and dick tourniquets for everybody!
    The father of the children will move into the house again this year. We haven’t heard of him being lazy, but he’s [...]

  • Sad fact is most Americans can’t seem to grasp this fact at election time.

    On the contrary, the vast majority of Americans do indeed grasp it all. Every. Single. Fact. Election years or leap years be damned. It’s just their give-a-damn is busted. Thoroughly. Fucking. Busted.

  • BREAKING: The NSA has released a Press Release stating that anything the agency says either in the media or through sworn testimony isn’t meant to be factual statements. Aaaand in the International Bosom Race today, it was America over Europe by a slim margin. The average American boob is 34D and in Europe just 34C. Quite a race with only one real disappointment: the FCC declared the photo finish “obscene” … wait … this just in over the wire … Hustler Magazine states they will be publishing the photo finish and more in next month’s issue, courtesy of a new anonymous NSA leaker.

  • Hooker Jay commented on the diary post when the pope says ‘maternal tenderness’ he ain’t thinking hillary by patrick devlin.

    2014-01-05 07:18:49View | Delete

    After all, any leader who suggests, not a religious occupation, not an uber-surveillance regime, not a ‘get out of jail for free card’ for the wealthy, not a purge, or pogrom or prohibition, but rather implementing an agenda of “inculcating maternal tenderness” seems to be on the right track.

    *blinks* The right track of WHAT exactly?!? [...]

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