Clearly it’s a plot, a nefarious plot, dark-hearted and sinister, like when your sister won’t tell you what “french kiss” means and you end up sodomizing the giant bear you won at the carnival and planned on giving to RyeLee-Jeen’ne as a token of affection and the hope that you could squeeze a li’l sumptin-sumptin.

Right?

Is it too soon to refer to Tebow as a right-wing conspiracy nudnik now that the entire football establishment, from the loudest of loud-mouth coaches exhorting 10-year olds to smash each other to the hat-throwing-curse-bombed-petulance of the NFL has banished him from the land of the unclean and unrighteous?

He is light and you godless motherfuckers hit the off switch.

Jesus and mega-church flim-flammers are up in arms that Tebow has been ignored, degraded, insulted and yes, nearly crucified, by the Pharisees of the media, left-wing-Obamaunist-bullying-cabals-of-feminist-Nazism and the ol’ okey-doke-sip-and-toke crowd.

Nudnik may just be the perfect word, regardless if it was produced kosher or not.

Wait’ll you get a load of young master Ben Shapiro opining on Jason Collins’s coming out story.

Side note — my mom taught both Collins boys (they’re twins and towered over my short little mama) in the 7th and 8th grade and had nothing but fond memories of the young men. She followed them through their careers at Stanford and then into the NBA. Loved the boys and loved the family.

I’ve been at work since 430 this morning awaiting your post. Thank you.

Because nothing says “that which you do unto the least of my brothers, you do unto me” better than honoring a man who did exactly that and did so at great cost and personal sacrifice.

But yeah, there are no gaily colored eggs and chocolate bunnies, so we can now expect Google to be bankrupt by Wednesday due to the boycott.

Why the hell can’t I be the virgin who was seduced into the wrong kind of loving? Hell, I can sport a black leotard and I would look smashing in a 60s-era pink bra and panties, but is my virtue and sexual purity under attack? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I’ll trade you Ritzy for Gin and Juice done in Appalachia

Well, she can see Santa’s workshop from her house.

And there is no answer that will satisfy you. Congress has made it plain and clear that our civil liberties are at the mercy of the Patriot Act and the AUMF and if you’re a foreigner determined to be a threat you’re also at the mercy of who decides when you die.

Congress made these laws and the lack of oversight is the plan, not a bug, but exactly how it’s been planned. Just as they will continue to strip away all of the hard-won rights of employees, just as they will continue to assault the idea that a woman is a human being with sovereignty over her body and just as they will continue to privatize such basic government services as education, prisons and policing.

You can rail all you wish, but Feinstein is damn big supporter of the surveillance state as well as a woman whose wealth continues to grow because her husband sells weapons and weapons systems. You’re looking for purity and clarity in a pool of tainted, mephitic ooze.

Face it, the corporations have won and they have won big. ALEC dominates the state legislatures and the Koch brothers and Club for Growth and all their ilk control the Republican party while our Demo0crats are as bought and paid for as the sandwich I had for lunch.

You want better government? Too late, at least at the Federal level.

For the 100th time, none of you hankie-twisting dipshits has raised a finger at the violence done by uniformed agents of federal, state and local governments on a daily basis against American citizens.

Cops shoot and kill citizens on a daily basis, all without the benefit of due process or even an arrest.

And this …

But don’t sneer at those who try, in their own insignificant way, to protest your country’s world-wide inhumane violence, rapidly expanding surveillance program and utter disregard for the well-being of the world’s peoples, their environment and their right to exist peacefully, in freedom.

umm… you don’t know us very well, do you? This nation has been killing people across the globe pretty fucking regularly since 1945, it’s what we do best.

I knew the moment I clicked on Wonkette and saw this that ol’ TBogg would have it as well. Malkin is to rhythm what Dubya was to inspirational rhetoric.

Somewhere, somehow, there’s a Blazing Saddles reference to be made here, but damn if I’ll be the one to make it, these fuckers are serious, deep thinkers.

I’m tired.

It’s not just Texas, California GOPers are working hard as well to woo their slightly duskier-hued umm … uhh … you know, they’re gonna grow … awww fuck it

San Diego – GROW Elect, a political organization founded in 2011 for the purpose of electing Latino Republicans to local office in California, announced today that its Executive Committee voted unanimously to hire former White House aide Ruben Barrales as its President and Chief Executive Officer.

Barrales served for six years as Deputy Assistant to President George W. Bush and White House Director of Intergovernmental Affairs. He was the President’s senior representative to state, local, territorial and tribal government officials. Barrales was responsible for White House communication and relationships with the nation’s governors, mayors, state legislators and other elected officials. He also served as a chairman of the President’s Task Force on Puerto Rico’s Status.

Oh sweet mother monitor of the 8th grade girls bathroom yet another “Am I hot or not?” missive from TBogg. Poor put-upon blogger who is tasked with creating witty, smart, caustic and hilarious posts on a daily basis for those of us who couldn’t find humor in a 50s-era ice cream truck is getting weary?

Suck it up, soldier. It aint easy going through life expecting others to provide your entertainment and I’ll be damned if I’ll be left with Cole’s litany of animal-human-love-bonding or the sharp and incisive insight of SteveM or the knowledge and perspective of Booman or the run of circus freaks at RumpRoast.

Stand up and give us our responsibility-free no-input or effort snark and humor. And smile while you do it, ya bastid!

I’ll leave the prayers, incantations and lamentations to the devout and focus on my calling for the day — eating.

My pork shoulder, smothered in seasoning, onions and sauerkraut has been in the oven since 530 this morn. It will be added to the full Thanksgiving dinner my buddy makes for the Super Bowl each year along with Maria-the-caterer’s homage to the Lunar New Year, a full spread of Chinese foodstuffs.

Add in the odds and ends others will bring, including locally grown and slaughtered pig from the pig man, oysters from the bay and fresh crab just off the boats in the harbor and we’re all ready to go.

I’ll be wearing my University of Delaware “Fear the Chicken” Fightin’ Blue Hens hat in honor of Flacco (where he ended up after Dave Wannstedt, coach at Pitt decided that Tyler Palko was a better QB) and after several beers and a good helping of Humboldt lettuce we’ll sate ourselves in the fashion our forefathers wished — over-eating, over-indulgence and over-excitement at the display of large men bashing themselves into one another for three hours.

God. Bless. America.

I’d kill for a cookie.

Has nothing to do with this post and really has nothing to do with anything.

And students don’t get smarter over the same period

I never graduated from college but I did play a college student several times and this just makes me sad. I can’t even get all hepped up. I may have been a shitty student, but goddamn, man, I read and continue to read my ass off and I may not be any smarter but I am as sure as fuck a lot more interesting to talk to.

Which hand do I put the ring on at the ceremony?

Silly Hat, the ring goes on the cock!

Are there illegal benefits to marriage I can acquire? I’m not married, never will be and never have been, but I am also not gay but I do have an agenda, particularly one that involves the long-legged brunette (hah! hair color) who frequents my humble but non-nerdy apartment.

I don’t want to marry her hand and she sure as shit doesn’t want to marry me or any small part of me I offer up, but it’s still an agenda and I’ll be damned if those angry gays are going to ruin it!

Porn, beer, video games with the guys, freedom and fleeting sexual encounters are good enough.

Goddamn, Maggie, get the fuck outta my apartment you peeping Tomasina!