I always gravitated towards the progress wing of the birthday parties as a kid. That’s where them helium suckers talked all crazy.

And sometimes passed out from a temporary insufficiency of oxygen.

Hmmm.

If you just assume most Republicans have been huffing various brain-drowning substances for the last three decades, it explains a LOT.

:: scandalized ::

I would never use ANY sort of amphibian in my brownies!

The occasional invertebrate, on the other hand….(they have such a delightful crunch!)

The pecans are fine, but not the marshmallow fluff — that’s for fudge.

You misunderstand.

A bit of gently microwave-warmed marshmallow fluff is twirled onto the top of the brownie batter after it has been poured/patted into the baking pan. So the resulting brownies are marbled with tiny ribbons of sweet sticky moosh.

It is a delicate skill, yes, but I am a consummate practitioner.

What about if I do them Southern style, with pecans? Or is that brownie heresy?

With walnuts!

I believe he has what they call “sherry-colored” eyes.

Definitely to the manor born.

I just can’t figure out what they’re doing in MY front hall….

Wow. I love how he always looks like he’s coming off an epic bender.

semi-regular blogging will be returning

I’ll believe it when I see it.

But seriously (sort of): please don’t overdo when you start again. You’ll pull a muscle and then you’ll be laid up again for weeks.

I’m admiring the four-dimensional curves in the ear.

Yes, they do have an Escher-ish flair.

the Roberts’ son, dressed in a baby blue suit with shorts

Worse. That was a SEERSUCKER suit!

Not clicking.

Didn’t have the boner in the first place, thus no reason to kill it.

(Although just the title image should be enough.)

A little TBogg goes a long way.

Nuh-UH! It barely covers half a piece of toast!

You must be thinking of Marmite.

Oh wait…I’m supposed to be boycotting this joint. Pretend you never saw me.

Haymoos Krispy! Don’t DO that to me!

I almost had a heart attack.

Just to punish you for that totally unnecessary fright, I’m going to BOYCOTT you for at least a week. Let’s see how you feel about scaring your readers half to death when it hits you in the pocketbook, boyo!

Seriously, this shit has been freaking me, and a lot of other crazy people, out for weeks. I’m trying to keep in mind that our government is too irretrievably broken to actually do anything about this, and that the NRA is opposing background checks anyway, but, and I’m aware that this is a selfish and juvenile reaction to piles of dead children, we paranoid schizophrenics do kind of tend to be, you know, paranoid.

I may need to be talked down, Rachel Maddow style.

At the risk of seeming insensitive, I’d point out that no one will be checking your mental health status if you don’t try to purchase a gun. Surely the law would make it illegal to check the database without your personally filled out and signed paperwork, on which you would have to write your SSN and other info. So, as long as you didn’t give a gun shop owner permission by wanting to get yourself a nice pistola to end it all (not recommended, by the way, so inconsiderate — what a mess!), I sincerely doubt the national gun check hotline would be telling any of your friends, neighbors or random countrymen anything they didn’t already know.

He’s looking rather more quizzical than menacing in that shot.

Something’s up.

You poor blind baby.

At least the dogs are big enough that you won’t trip over them…..

He was excellent as the misogynistic asshole in Magnolia, and pretty decent while showing that character’s terror of being “found out,” but turned AB. SO. LUTELY. TERRIBLE when the character was supposed to have been transformed into a feeling human being. I could hardly sit still for that last “crying” scene at Daddy’s bedside. Jeebus. Painful, squirm-inducing horribleness.

My favorite watch-the-clockwork, for-gaud’s-sake-CLOSE-YOUR-MOUTH! Technician actress (Julianne Moore) also drove me crazy in that one. Was she serious? Was she crazy? Was she crazy like a fox? What in the hell was she fking DOING? ….Although on second thought, maybe I should blame the director for not giving the audience any clue at any point what the character was really thinking or whether she was just playing people or not. Okay, understood she was a neurotic character, but when she played the same sort of thing (her forte, actually) in A Single Man we were allowed to “get” her and see her reality. I actually liked her in that, in spite of having the feeling she was just playing herself.

these idiotic revelations

That should be “revelations” in scare quotes, since most of the idiocy is not new, never was “unknown,” and/or is completely untrue.

I have a streamlight TLR-2s with a disorienting strobe at like 200 lumens and a laser, and I have a Trijicon amber dot site, to go with 45 APC rounds.

Could someone translate that from MMORPG-speak for me?

He has a really, really tiny penis.

Fell off my chair.