melior

Last active
2 years, 10 months ago
  • melior commented on the blog post How Can I Live Without You

    2013-08-22 15:35:52View | Delete

    My favorite Van song! Take a bow, Mr. Bogg.
    Fair winds and pleasant skies, catch you on down the road.

  • melior commented on the blog post Sexecutive Actions – Updated To Reflect Summer Camp Fun

    2013-07-26 16:38:52View | Delete

    two weeks of summer camp at Lake Titty-No-Touch

    Worst. Summer. Ever.

  • melior commented on the blog post The Return Of Knee. Jerk Response.

    2013-07-19 11:06:12View | Delete

    I’m out of line? No YOU’RE out of line!

  • And I’m sure we all remember the last time when she warned us all that the maybe 70, 80 computers our cars are loaded with were gonna crash cause of Y2K — did we listen?! No! And that’s why we’re all dead and covered in Mr. Pibb and broken tacos and fake sour cream and green tomatoes right now.

  • melior commented on the blog post The Return Of The Daughter Of The Bride Of McMegan McMath

    2013-07-13 14:45:36View | Delete

    …Reagan shouldn’t have been elected; he clearly had early Alzheimer’s in his second term.

    Expounding on this is bound to endear her among the crowds she hopes to “fail upwards” into. Just be careful not to mention that Dick Cheney’s gay-married daughter is gay, though, cause that shit’s inexcusable.

  • melior commented on the blog post Richard Clarke Gives Infowars A Big Old Deathrace Boner

    2013-06-25 10:39:46View | Delete

    Dome :: shovel. Also too, Border fence :: ladder.
    Head hurts.

  • melior commented on the blog post John McCain Don’ Know Nothin’ ‘Bout No Jewish Lobby Thing

    2012-12-22 15:48:41View | Delete

    Re: Katz’s closing.

    GWPDA likely is referring to the other Katz’s deli, in Austin, TX.
    Opened by one of the original Katz’s sons, it was not universally admired here with such fervor for it’s food and service.

    Though you’d never learn it from the Wikipedia entry, the restaurant eventually imploded in a messy storm of inter-family bankruptcy filings, following bitter public lawsuits with the owner’s own son and accusations of drug abuse, employee mistreatment and familial treachery.

  • melior commented on the blog post This Is What You Wanted, This Is What You Get

    2012-12-22 14:03:40View | Delete

    Unlike Master Mencken, I am only good for one successful link, pre-coffee, apparently. obliviously double down.

  • melior commented on the blog post This Is What You Wanted, This Is What You Get

    2012-12-22 14:01:25View | Delete

    Wait, did someone say “discovery”? Would Rich Lowry’s career-long background demonstrating a penchant for inflammatory accusations founded on in-depth research into the scent of his own earwax be considered germane to the court’s deliberations?

    Then take it away, HTML Mencken!

    I especially like the bit where the Hoover Institute was persuaded, after a presumably similar exchange of lawyer letters, to print a retraction of their baseless smears of Al Gore in the USA Today… prompting Lowry (while filling in for Sean Hannity on teh teevee) to obliviously double down on the original, presumably potentially libelous, idiocy. Good times!

  • melior commented on the blog post Abattoir Cadabra

    2012-12-16 22:45:21View | Delete

    Where o where is the Instapundit of old, with his prescient futuristic visions of ROBOTS in our hour of need?

    Obviously the True Libertarian answer is to immediately begin an urgent Manhattan Project-scale national effort to arm every American kindergartener with tiny personal defense drones to provide air cover with eensy weensy Hellfire missiles while they smack talk each other in Angry Birds voices. Only thus can we safely preserve our desperate infantile need to clutch our precious precious baby-killing substitute-penis assault weaponry closely.

  • melior commented on the blog post Let The Purity Purges Begin

    2012-10-24 19:32:24View | Delete

    You keep on being classy now, you hear?

    In my defense I’m deliberately choosing descriptives that can’t be Etchasketched here. If I had said I’m a big fan of the one who supports women and promises to bring the troops in Afghanistan home by 2014 while preserving Medicare as it is, you might think I buy the tripe that they’re both the same. But we all know there’s no pretending about which one has the face tint that washes off, the spouse who’s made of plastic, and the progeny with zombie eyes…

  • melior commented on the blog post Let The Purity Purges Begin

    2012-10-24 19:06:32View | Delete

    No no, this is serious stuff. When the cashier asks me, “paper or plastic” I check myself based on the realization that I am about to make a Hobson’s choice between slaughtering an innocent living cellulose organism and condemning our descendants to a landfill clogged with perpetually nonbiodegradeable waste products.
    I always make the pure conscience-salving choice and choose to carefully walk home juggling my honeydew melons, avocados, and pita bread in my bare hands. At least I can sleep with myself, I think, and oh how much better I will feel when I get to lord it over those not-really-hippies at the basset hounds lover’s place!

  • melior commented on the blog post Let The Purity Purges Begin

    2012-10-24 18:55:11View | Delete

    Harumph. I can only respond by escalation, and hereby pledge to boycott the elections in 49 states (and the District of Colombia!) after I finish early voting for the swarthy CINC with the hot wife and cute kids.

  • melior commented on the blog post Let The Purity Purges Begin

    2012-10-24 18:41:23View | Delete

    Also too, how does it not count as electoral fraud if there are millions of ineligible-to-vote non-voters participating in the boycott movement? And in locations where they are not even registered!?!!!11one

  • melior commented on the blog post Let The Purity Purges Begin

    2012-10-24 18:38:41View | Delete

    Mark E. Smith, by joining in the so-called “election boycott movement”, knows they can’t win, so his goal is obviously to perpetuate the genderist stereotypes engendered in the offensively non-gender-neutral patriarchal terminology evidenced by their middle name BOYcott.

    That, and he must hate paralyzed people, or he wouldn’t be perpetuating the term “movement” either.

  • I prayed hard about it, and Jeebus told me it’s time for his ESPN covershot wearing a bridal dress next to Rex Ryan…

  • Please, Tucker, don’t stop… you’re huuuurting us.

  • melior commented on the blog post Readers Under The Influence

    2012-10-01 22:47:52View | Delete

    Ah, so it’s meticulous curation that keeps the Basset hair dust bunnies from taking over this temple of snark and flippancy, is it? I had been curious about that.

  • melior commented on the blog post Chickensoup For The Privileged Butthurt Soul

    2012-09-26 21:41:50View | Delete

    Let me save you some serious ear-bleeding: do not get off the boat after reading that post on the Godlstein meltdown, instead skip directly to the HTML Mencken classic linked in comments by JDC. What a glorious trip down memory lane, back to those misty days of hundred+ hyperlink dismantlings of wingnuts into their constituent subatomic particles.

  • melior commented on the blog post Conventional Whiz Kid

    2012-07-31 11:37:20View | Delete

    Ah so “lightning rod for criticism” is the codephrase for “top of the Koch smear list”. Which means Luke is an idiot since that would happen anyway to whomever is chosen to speak at the DNC.

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