I like my Kindle, too, but let me just point out: I downloaded (for free) various Sherlock Holmes stories. The Hound of the Baskervilles has, in its first three or four chapters, one ransom-note-like, cut-out-from-a-newspaper-type message, the London Times article from which it was cut, and one other typographical oddity. And all three are just omitted from the Kindle version. The text just goes on without them. Before you realize what has happened, you think you’ve fallen asleep and skipped some essential material.

Okay, it was free. But still.

You wanna know what’s totes adorbs? The way they incessantly refer themselves as “clever” (“Maybe it’s because Twitter puts a premium on brevity and cleverness.”)

They also actually believe that they’re “witty.” It’s the intellectual version of a cargo cult: four generations ago, William F. Buckley used big words and a dryer-than-dust delivery to thrill the Tory hearts of his army of resentful nerds, drunk-on-fantasy Randroids, Kloset Kweers, America First-ers, and all-around sexually-repressed nudniks, and their descendents have been under the impression that “conservatives are clever” ever since, proudly defiant in the face of the fact that the funniest people in the U.S. are always, always liberal.

(where I was paid to be a regular contributor)

As I’ve said before, on the right, even their intelligentsia are stoopid. To sum up: It’s “puerile” to expect her to have actually read the theses she has opinions about, because that would be to apply an absurd standard for a 500-word blog post.

But it’s impressive and authoritative that she was “paid” to contribute.

Thus: I contributed something relatively unimportant that was important.

(And has this idiot ever read the titles of the dissertations of English, history, philosophy, and sociology doc candidates? Perhaps someone can pay her to contribute posts hailing them as useful and informative to the general public.)

You’re right. I hadn’t thought of it that way. I guess I’m just automatically huffy at the least suggestion that people like Donohue deserve the slightest consideration.

Pedophilia is much more demonized than rape in our culture

I don’t think “rapist priests” would be significantly less demonized than “pedophile priests.” At least not in our house. (I assume you know and agree with this.) And, with regard to his audience: Let him split hairs and bandy definitions in private with those who rep the CC. In public, a person claiming victimhood, or whining that he’s misunderstood, because “they’re not children” and “the Jews do it, too” is beneath contempt.

This entire repellent episode would be disgusting if it involved organizations of, say, professional bowlers, firefighter veterans, or the United Philatelists of America. That it involves the supposed guardians of people’s immortal souls, to whom the faithful look for fucking spiritual guidance (and–get this!–to whom they confess, and from whom they “receive absolution”), moves it into the realm of self-satire and grotesque hypocrisy. Donohue proves himself one of the biggest idiots on earth every time he mentions it.

This shorter is entirely accurate. So what’s his point–that if it’s with “adolescents” it doesn’t qualify as “pedophilia”? Well, then, to coin a phrase: Go to hell.

Exactly. “I happen to believe” is a reply to something no one outside of the interior of McCain’s head actually said. And it radiates defensiveness: Don’t challenge me on it, because it’s just one of those things (“happen to”) and is defensibly subjective (“believe”), so yes, I did it on purpose, and you can’t make me admit otherwise.

Either self-loathing, or mere self-ignorance, to coin a phrase. To tell others that you have “an offbeat sense of humor” is to raise nerd-ish, arrested adolescent obliviousness to the level of performance art.

Jeebus, Tbogg, where do you find these mutants?

Leave Jonah A-LONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNE. He’s doing the best he can with NOTHING, both vis a vis his own talent, and the appeal of the candidate he’s trying to pimp.

Have you SEEN the yoof that are passionate about Ron Paul? Oh never mind.

It’s cool to be really into your issues and interests.

Anybody here want to try to explain to Jonah that it depends on what those issues and interests are? No? Well, I tried.

It would nice to have an honest discussion

Well there’s your problem right there. With Republicans? HAHAHA (Note to FDL: Repeat until the Internet is full.)

I wanted to comment, over there, “And if a black person read this, found your bike, and returned it, would your white guilt return? Or if it were proven that a white person stole it, would your white guilt return?”

These people want credit for everything: having a disease. Liking their bike. Having their bike stolen. Having (or claiming to) a simple-minded prejudice. No-longer-having a simple-minded prejudice.

The reason they sneer at what they take to be liberals’ “kumbaya”/naive bleeding-heart “empathy” is, they don’t understand it. They think empathy is when you feel deeply sorry for yourself.

Maybe. But until that day, as long as they parade around waving pictures of Andrew Fucking Breitbart, take it from me: they’re morons.

Finally an explanation that makes sense!

(“Epistemic Closure. Get some.” wins this man’s intertoobz hands down.)

I see what you did there.

Because–as if I have to tell you this, Jenn–THE SUBGENIUS MUST HAVE SLACK!

Meanwhile: “Breitbart is here.” “Stop raping people.” These are the battle cries of the brain-damaged, or of people for whom English is a third language, learned from signs in airports and FBI Wanted posters. For which, in fact, Andy’s portrait would be v. appropriate.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN? IF SO, DO NOT APPROACH. BREITBART IS HERE. TELL HIM TO STOP RAPING PEOPLE AND CALL THE POLICE.

PS–I lived in Bethlehem for 13 years. Go Lehigh!

Okay, but jeez, T, calm down. Just get him to say his name backwards, and he’ll go back to the 15th dimension, if only for a while.

Best phrase in the week’s strips: “The Republican men who run Texas…”

Does Ace of Spuds somehow think we don’t already know he’s an asshole? Does he feel it necessary to remind us? It’s so…needy.

Argonaut–

I agree with everything you say, but it still bugs me. My dead relatives are none of their idiotic, crackpot business–especially and explicitly because they’ve been selected because they were Jewish. It’s a combination of galling presumption and anti-Semitism-by-other-means. In practical terms it means nothing–but so would calling a black person by the N word, and I’m sympathetic to someone who would angered and outraged by that.

Memo to Mormons: Focus on your own silly souls and your own ludicrous religion. Include us out.

Verizon tubesock holocaust

Wait–that was what I was going to call my first solo album. Who told you?