It’s well known that Charlie’s middle initial, “P,” rhymes with “B,” which stands for Bogg…

Sunday, December 11, 2011: A date which will live in Timfamy.

Juicebox was suddenly and deliberately — and repeatedly — attacked by the ground forces of Da Beloved Bearssss.

Also. Too.

Having taken Fucking French throughout high school (Oh, if only that were true!), and if I remember correctly, La Douche Ennuyeuse translates as “The Boring Shower.” Which, oddly enough, still fits like a, um … er … mitten.

Funny story about this horribly awry French/English fail: My sophomore-year-of-high school French teacher told us on the day we learned “douche” in the new chapter’s vocabulary words, of his initial trip across the Atlantic from France to the U.S. Expecting that “douche” meant the same in English as it does in French, he, with Gallic nonchalance, asked a crewman, “Where are the showers? I want to take a douche.” And then he demonstrated the look he got in response. Not much serious classwork was done that day.

Naturally, that was set to a tune composed by Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm? To do justice to this man, thought by many to be the greatest name in German Baroque music, we present a profile of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm, right?

A leap like that, you’re ready for a slot on Fixed News.

Countries attempt to manipulate each other all the time. You went well beyond that, alleging a Mossad plot to assassinate President Gore to elevate Vice President Lieberman. I called bullshit.

Lots of bluster since, but you still haven’t answered me on that. So let me be clear enough, even for you: I am calling you anti-Semitic because you allege a Jewish State conspiracy existed to assassinate a sitting president of the United States, to elevate his Jewish vice president to the Oval Office, for some nebulous benefit to Israel.

Answer that or shut up.

Joe Lieberman, like Eric Cantor, is a fucking mamzer.

And you still haven’t answered me.

You’re almost as good at evading a direct point as forest. I didn’t question your thoughts on Israel’s right to exist, I called you out on a bullshit conspiracy theory. Answer that.

And yes, many of Israel’s actions have been and are heinous. But please name one country on this planet whose metaphorical hands are clean. Ours? Nope. Palestine’s? Certainly not. Australia or Canada? Not even them, as any of their first nations will be more than happy to tell you.

As far as Israel’s right to exist, since you raise the question, what do you think about it?

Nice try, but please answer my questions: Just who am I? Who is coddling me, and what power have I been given?

By the way, are you the same “forest” over at Daily Kos whose Mojo shows the skull & crossbones of a currently banned user?

Just who are folks like me? Who is coddling me, and what power have I been given?

Pretty strong reaction to being rather mildly contradicted. You must be a barrel of laughs to live with.

As for that search of other sites, go ahead. What will I find about you, if I do likewise?

You reveal your true colors.

I’m not surprised at what I see.

Mossad is Jewish; it’s an intelligence agency of the Jewish State. Please don’t pretend otherwise.

That Israel spies on us, no surprise. I have no doubt we spy on our allies, too, and they on us, and each other. Going from that to suggesting an Israeli plot existed to make Joe Lieberman president by assassinating Al Gore is blowing one big anti-Semitic dog whistle, numbnuts.

I don’t kid.

That shit isn’t funny to me, especially not a week out from our holiest holidays.

So, the idea was that Mossad would have assassinated President Gore to elevate Vice President Lieberman to the Oval Office?

Conflate? No. Call out a conspiracy theorist on anti-Semitic bullshit? Yes.

Invoking the “Jewish conspiracy theory,” are we?

Ralph who?

As a resident of this fine Midwestern town that starts wit’a C, ends wit’an O, and in the middle is HICAG, I can advise you all to not worry about this one little iota (the definition of which is “A slice of that cardboard wit’cheese some call pizza, compared to the True Deep Dish”).

Steve Chapman’s relevance begins and ends at 435 N. Michigan Ave. John Kass’s, for that matter, too. Also.

And, Ed who? Also. Too.

Fledg-gringa?

St. Louis has a well-known moranic bias…

I’ll watch any network that would let you and The Rude Pundit co-host a show.

Woof! All we need now is one of Caribou Barbie chompin’ on the corn-fed foot-long, and I’m in Bachmann Palin Overdrive!

Given that Friday’s forecast for Chicago is a rain/snow mix, you might want to just kick back at home and watch the Cubs on WGN. I’ve been to Cubs home openers in weather like that, and no matter how many layers in which you cocoon yourself, the hawk (the cold wind that chills your bones, and soul) gets you. I’ll very happily watch the boys on TV instead.