Last active
2 years, 10 months ago
  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post Outro…

    2013-08-23 10:13:04View | Delete

    Between you and the late great Doghouse, well, all I’ll say is if that goddam Edroso hangs ‘em up, too, we might as well turn off the Internet.

    Ain’t it the truth. Pierce is carrying a lot of weight these days, but losing 2 out of three of the best and funniest on the ‘Net is a shocker. After ten or so years, it’s too late to do something constructive with my life. I feel like Brandon de Wilde yelling “TBogg!…. come back TBogg… come baaaaaaack!” at the end of a very long, very funny movie.

    Good luck, T. Hope to see you around.

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post Nice Try But ‘No Sale’, Sparky

    2013-08-20 12:11:29View | Delete

    Kristol added that Palin’s departure before the end of her term as governor hurt her leadership image.

    Sarah said she wasn’t a quitter in her resignation speech as Governor, and that’s proof enough for me. Kristol must know this. It’s right there in the speech. She SAID IT. That’s EVIDENCE. How could that possibly hurt her leadership image?

  • I started enjoying your stuff back when people still read Ann Coulter, and you helped keep me from opening a vein during the Bush years. But the death of Doghouse shook me up and I don’t even have a blog. So despite the summer of ’13 turning out to be an even bigger Internet catastrophe for me humor-wise, I wish you the best of luck in the future and bon voyage to wherever. If you do decide to post something on occasion for our benefit somewhere, I hope I’ll find it. Meanwhile, many thanks for all the wonderful laughs from this long-time fan.

    (We’ve still got till Thursday, right?)

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post Tramp Stamps

    2013-05-02 03:38:04View | Delete

    Since she spells them out in her post, she’s obviously aware that EBT is made up of the initials of actual words, none of which is “food” or “stamps.” Maybe this is where the irony comes in.

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post Fear And Fapping On Campaign Trail 2012

    2013-04-24 10:20:15View | Delete

    I appreciate that the Daily News writer used the phrase “tech-savvy GOP member” to describe him, though.

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post Fear And Fapping On Campaign Trail 2012

    2013-04-24 09:25:23View | Delete

    Dear Asshole,

    I’d almost feel sorry for you Gooper wackadoodles and your totally fucked up sexual pervitude, but it’s one thing to go double-dildo wetsuit in the privacy of your own home, and another thing entirely to engage in CRIMINAL acts, you stupid twerpish joyboy. Better get yourself a good lawyer.

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post Moron Labe

    2013-04-21 06:14:53View | Delete

    Because, Jeffrey, you cute little outlaw you, they used to call makeshift militias like yours a “lynch mob” (for Jeffrey’s “Hey guys I’ll bring the sandwiches!” version make that a “lunch mob” or “piss posse”) you permanently adolescent jerkwad. Can you imagine a bunch of John Wayne Godlsteins heading for the mall decked out in full Suburban Military regalia: night-vision goggles, AR-15s, green laser Dazzlers, Walmart body armor and more military gear than Army Ranger commandos? It would be fucking hilarious to watch them spend more time in “look at MY hardware” one-upmanship than hunting for one scrawny wounded 19-year old (you know he wouldn’t even fantasize about this if genuine risk were involved).

    What’s also funny is Jeffrey’s scare quotes around “assault weapons” like that isn’t what police departments and the military call them.

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post AIPAC Attack Hack Cracks

    2013-02-27 12:05:51View | Delete

    Who can forget this?

    This is the greatest destruction of individual liberty since Dred Scott. This is the end of America as we know it. No exaggeration.

    For Big Boner Ben, meltdown is his default state.

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post Five Finger Discount, Six Figure Pout

    2013-01-16 05:44:22View | Delete

    The sad single mother with two children (named Ignorance and Want no doubt) making $260,000 is obviously a welfare queen. It’s the only way she could make that kind of money, at least in Limbaugh/Hannity world.

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post Mr. President, Have Pity On The Working Man

    2012-12-28 02:54:42View | Delete

    It’s the NY Post, so they lie even about the arithmetic — and as usual completely ignore what “marginal” means*. Filing as a single taxpayer with $2 million in income and zero deductions Mr. Opie would have netted $1,326,066 in 2011.

    For the same income after the Bush tax cuts expire, he will net $1,251,507, a difference of $74,559. (This is before the many typical deductions which would make his net income even higher.)

    And if $1,251,507 is next to nothing, then I’d love to be making whatever nothing is.

    *Most of the other numbers in the article are bullshit, too — some more than others.

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post Elections Have Consequences

    2012-10-26 15:55:04View | Delete

    Let’s go to the videotape:
    Society should just let him die?
    GOP response: Yeah!… Yeah! (loud cheers)

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post Sodom & Gobama

    2012-10-26 06:01:14View | Delete

    “Fuck Saddam. We’re taking him out.”

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post Lest I Forget…

    2012-09-01 09:14:45View | Delete

    Hawaiian, maybe. But that’s also the Long Island schiksa sign for “so call me already.”

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post Let’s Get Drunk With Ann Romney – The Drinkening

    2012-08-28 16:31:32View | Delete

    Did Santorum or anyone else say “blah people” yet? That’s got to be worth at least a quart of Mad Dog. (Can’t watch the Gooper-jerk so my current drinking game consists of downing a shot every time I hear “can I get you another?” from across the bar.)

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post The Lovesong Of J. Alfred Douthat

    2012-08-15 08:13:13View | Delete

    Fabulous. Ross proves once again that it’s possible to lie through one’s teeth even with a mouthful of gooper-jism.

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post Light ‘em Up And Let ‘em Go

    2012-08-12 08:10:26View | Delete


    Yacht Manhattan Cruises

    spuyten duyvil bridge

    drink the water from the tap
    ask someone’s opinion

    - From all the recommendations above, there are obviously a zillion (shitload in the local patois) of great places and restaurants and museums — I’ll spare you my favorites since half the fun will be discovering new ones for herself.

    - Touristy thing: As others have mentioned the Circle line 3-hour tour is a great introduction to Manhattan island. Just note that there have been problems recently with the Spuyten Duyvil (is that not a great name for a place where tidal currents meet?) railroad swing bridge which enables the boat to cross into the Hudson from the East River — so it may just be a giant semicircle instead. You can call ahead to check if that’s important. For a more posh and pricey tour you might try the Yacht Manhattan brunch cruise when you come to visit. http://www.zerve.com/SailNYC

    - If by South Harlem you mean the West Side then depending on how far east or west the destination in Chelsea or Midtown there are subway trains that go down either 8th, 7th, and 6th avenues, and are easy to understand.

    - The best NYC advice I could give is that friends are the most valuable survival aides one can have short of family (if they happen to be neighbors that’s even better but kind of rare). It’s a good idea and reassuring to have travel-mates in any new city, especially at night. Maybe the student housing she’ll be in will have some means of making a connection in this regard. (John Jay also has a lot of young cops attending at any given time — from a father’s perspective this could be a good or bad thing.)

    - We even have beaches if she gets homesick — (A-train to Rockaway Park, #2 + a bus to Riis Park, B or D train to Coney Island)

    - I’ll second what others have said above about asking New Yorkers for directions or help, but beware, if you ask for an opinion you may open up a floodgate.

    - Water right from the tap is drinkable and better than most places I’ve ever been — a Brita pitcher will help remove any rust from the pipes.

    - Regardless what the signs say, it’s 6th Avenue not Avenue of the Americas, it’s the Triboro bridge not the RFK, it’s the Queensboro to people from Queens or the 59th St. Bridge to Manhattanites, but if you call it the Ed Koch Queensboro Bridge you’ll be deported.

    - It’s a pity that the East River ferry up to Yankee Stadium is no longer in operation for their Rangers game. This what us old New Yorkers do: we kvetch about how it used to be and point out all that’s gone now. Like how in the old days a couple of years in the city would be a crash course in Yiddish. Now it seems that at least three quarters of the inhabitants of Manhattan are auslanders from places like, well, San Diego.

    If nothing else, NYC is an adventure. Hope she has a ball.

  • dragooning white voters into apathy

    Dragooning someone into doing nothing sounds like it’s right out of Monty Python. “M’Lud, the defendant did cause the plaintiff to be indifferent by brutally forcing him to be severely disinterested, thus dragooning him into apathy.”

    Boy, that Kristol Klan sure can write.

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post The Mergers & Acquisitions Man

    2012-08-08 14:35:32View | Delete


  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post The Laziest Survivalist

    2012-08-05 05:21:17View | Delete

    You left off his rebel signature:

    Now I need to get handy with a serious rifle and a shotgun. For when the zombies come.


    He seems to have lost the exclamation point but kept the italics. An unemployed narcissist gun nut stuck in adolescence who says he needs an assault rifle. Fabulous.

  • RPorrofatto commented on the blog post I Was An Internet Badass

    2012-07-22 18:26:39View | Delete

    I have a streamlight TLR-2s with a disorienting strobe at like 200 lumens and a laser, and I have a Trijicon amber dot site, to go with 45 APC rounds.

    Christ, just what Colorado needs right now: One more whack job narcissist with tactical commando fantasies about heroically pumping armor-piecing rounds into evildoers, and flying monkeys willing to donate money to feed them. I guess the cockslapping slacked off when the male perimenopause kicked in.

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