• Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 19:29:30View | Delete

    Thank YOU! It’s been a pleasure. And I will for sure tune in for other movie nights! Thanks.

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 19:21:15View | Delete

    Nope, no pets. Which is a shame, because animals can be such good companions…

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 19:14:12View | Delete

    Jane, where did you see the film?

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 19:12:49View | Delete

    Thanks, Jane. Yes, that is one of my favorite shots in the film…

    My sister and I were pretty resourceful about entertaining ourselves, but sure, there was a lot of boredom. But we did bad things, like sneak into places were weren’t supposed to go to without a resident. And I remember we made up a card game. As a kid, there were so many rules, and kids weren’t allowed to go anywhere by themselves. So we made up a game called “Get the Guards.” :-)

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 19:10:41View | Delete

    We are in the process of developing that. First, we would like to screen the films at community centers around the country. We’s also like to get the film in the hands of health care providers who are interacting with families on a daily basis.

    I have this idea of creating some sort of pamphlet, with advice on “how to have the hard conversations.” You know, what do you do when your father walks out of the room and refuses to talk about what he wants to do if he needs assistance. That’s what happens. People often refuse to engage in the conversation. So families need concrete tools to help them facilitate these conversations. We are working with experts in the field to develop these.

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 19:02:05View | Delete

    I totally agree. There is this emphasis in our culture on staying active and independent. And that’s great, who doesn’t want that. But the reality is, things change, at some point people need assistance. I think if we, as a culture, were more forgiving of ourselves as we aged, it would make things a bit easier.

    My grandmother literally called herself “disgusting” when she couldn’t lean over to tie her own shoe. And I said: “Grandma, I can understand why you are frustrated, but where do you get “disgusting?”

    I witnessed a lot of self-loathing in the folks at Kings Point. When they couldn’t participate fully in all the activities, they felt bad about themselves.

    That has to change.

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 18:57:07View | Delete

    Well, the generation that my grandmother was in (she died a few years ago at 93) were NOT computer savvy, but that is changing.

    And I think some people got more visitors than others. I spent some time with one man whose son lived over seas and no one ever visited him. He was being taken care of by a home health aide from Jamaica who really became his friend and companion. She was in utter shock that no one from his family was really there for him.

    With others, the kids and grandkids came all the time. And it was like a time to brag– when and how often you would get family. All the card games for a given week would stop if they were getting a visitor.

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 18:53:50View | Delete

    It’s been great. I definitely get a lot of questions, but I also get a lot of people who just want to tell me about the experiences they are having with a parent, or a grandparent, or themselves. I really hope the film can motivate people to talk to their parents and their children about what they want to do later in their lives. We can’t put our heads in the sand. I am finding that people really WANT to talk about these issues, but that no one wants to be the one to bring it up.

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 18:47:13View | Delete

    HBO has bought the film and it will air in March.

    I am also traveling with the film to different festivals, so people can check the web site to see if it is playing in a city near them.

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 18:46:19View | Delete

    Bea’s backstory was that she was actually married twice. And widowed twice. She went down to Florida with her first husband, and after he died, she met someone else who she married. She told me “my second husband was every bit as good as my first.”

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 18:45:02View | Delete

    But I do hope to expand the website to include some scenes with other people (including some of the men) who did not make it in the final cut.

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 18:43:55View | Delete

    It definitely took on a life of its own as I filmed over the course of many years. It was a feeling that I wanted to convey more than anything. Then I found the subjects who were the most open and willing to talk to me.

    And yes, the women were definitely more forthcoming about their feelings than the men. I did film with other men, but in the editing room, I decided that the women’s stories were just more interesting to me. Men of that generation and that culture, for the most part, liked to talk about what they knew more than what they were feeling.

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 18:38:28View | Delete

    There was a joke among women. That the minute a woman died, there would be a line of women at the door of the recent widower, holding “bereavement casseroles.”

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 18:36:54View | Delete

    Oh for sure. He was the biggest flirt. Every where Frank went, he was kissing women who were flirting with him. He loved the attention. Not that I blame him. WHo wouldn’t?

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 18:36:00View | Delete

    Yes. Some people, like Gert (and my grandmother as well) were completely uninterested in meeting new people for romance. But as Gert says: some people can’t be alone, they can’t be a minute without a guy…” She is very funny about it. She sees the woman who are looking for men as “desperate.”

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 18:33:37View | Delete

    There are one and two bedroom units. 7,500 of them, identical to each other. It was amazing to go into so many homes that were structurally exactly the same but had such different characters on the interiors.

    I don’t know exactly what the ratio of women to men is. But it gets higher as people get older. The dating scene is fierce that way. Lots of women looking among very few men.

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 18:31:53View | Delete

    Yes, lots of cliques and gossiping. I don’t know that I saw tension between groups as much as tension between individuals. Some people, like my grandmother, had very close friends. But others found it difficult to connect with new people so late in life. So when you are alone like that, you tend to be a little bitter about other people.

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 18:30:04View | Delete

    Regarding your earlier comment: Kings Point does not offer any other levels of support like assisted living or nursing facilities. There are private facilities near by but they are not affiliated with Kings Point.

    The truth is, a lot of people stay there for longer than they should, in the sense that they are not getting the care that they need. Because they don’t want to move and leave what has been home for so long.

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 18:27:02View | Delete

    Yes, you have to be over 55 to move in. But they make exceptions for spouses. In other words, I met a lot of women who went down in their early 50′s because their husbands were over 55. There are a lot of rules about how long guests can stay.

  • Sari Gilman commented on the blog post FDL Movie Night: Kings Point

    2012-12-17 18:24:11View | Delete

    Yes, it is very insular. It’s funny because I did do some filming outside the community, but in the end, I decided to keep the film only in Kings Point, almost so that the viewer could feel that insularity.

    And there are lots of new people moving in, and the demographics are changing. When my grandmother moved there in the 1970′s, it was mostly Jews from NYC. Now, there are people from Florida buying the condos because they are so affordable. There is a growing population of West Indians there now, and I think a lot of Russians as well.

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