1. Anyone who talks. Cell phones are bad but at least I’m only stuck having to hear one part of the conversation. With partners who chat, it’s two times the pain! STFU!
2. Stinky. Seriously! Take a shower every day, use soap or don’t go out in public. What were you thinking? This applies to all ethnicities.
3. Children, and people who spawn them. Either leave them at home or charter a private plane. The rest of us don’t want to listen to them screech, witness your bad parenting skills manifest as an inability to silence them and shudder for the future of humanity.
4. ANYONE who thinks wearing a track suit is appropriate attire for travel. Actually, they should be lined up on the tarmac and shot. Along with pants on the ground, Hoochie Mama Hiltons, or base-ball cap wearing meat heads. Exceptions made for well attired hip-hop stars except for…
5. Any member of the Black Eyed Peas.
6. Entitled “business travelers” who think they are such pros at travel because they do a lot of it. Leave that laptop in the bag, this isn’t Starbucks or your personal office, or don’t be surprised if some water “accidentally” gets spilled on the keyboard. Douchebag.
7. Fatties who can’t fit in their allotted chair space and spill over into yours. Stop buying cheap seats and pay the wider fare in business class, cheapskates! You didn’t skimp on meals, why start now?
8. Social media mavens who giggle incessantly at their smart phones before take-off, breathlessly typing inanity to their three followers on Twitter about some shared in-joke while ignoring at least 3 requests to turn off all electronic devices before take off. And can’t wait to take out their Macbook/iPad/iPhone and whine incessantly about the speed of WiFi on the plane, or the lack thereof. Actually, they can join the line-up on the tarmac for execution.
9. Bitchy stewardesses. Of both genders.
10. Everyone else. I’d like some quiet so I can get some sleep, now get the hell out!