Well, as long as it’s confession time, I’m actually Erick Erickson, and I’ve been scouting for oppo research. I would have crushed you puny libs earlier, but got distracted by the bassets.

Full-time Reporter: Loesch (She’s on CNN after all!)

Blogger: Brooks Bayne

Citizen: George Tierney of Greenville, South Carolina

If these aren’t the winners, then it’s a LIBRUL CONSPIRICY!

Fine. More real books for me. I cannot stand e-readers. I think they’re the result of a conspiracy to make people read less by making it so damn uncomfortable.

And your little find-myself jaunt better not preclude Thursday night basset blogging, Mister. What do we pay you for, anyhow?

And the thing is, we’ve all seen what conservative wit and cleverness actually looks like: “Teleprompterz!! LOL!!1 Obama eats teh puppies! 57 States! LOL Michelle is so fat!1!!” They make Johnny Knoxville look like H.L. Mencken. Lighting their farts would be a step up.

From what I understand of Twitter, actual content is at a premium, and not really necessary-all it takes to build a popular or fast growing topic is to retweet what everyone else has said until to shove your way to the top. No wonder conservatives are ‘dominating’ Twitter: It requires the most obeisance and the least thought of any big networking site.

Don’t know much about their music, but Yauch seemed like a great guy. And so young, too.

Omegaman – The Police
Dancing Choose – TV on the Radio
Cliche – Fish
Big Railroad Blues – The Grateful Dead
Wave of Mutilation – The Pixies
Canadian Idiot – Weird Al Yankovic
Kids – MGMT
Wendell Gee – R.E.M.
Man In The Box – Richard Cheese
Broadsword – Jethro Tull
And finally: Well You Needn’t – Thelonious Monk

and teams that contain names for women’s private parts that only Bill Maher feels comfortable saying.

Only Bill Maher! Wow! Does that mean every liberal/feminist blogger is Bill Maher in disguise?

Also too, a trip to the Internet Anagram people shows us that (among other things) ‘Obama Fed Hitler Carl Marx Stop Now’ translates to ‘A Candelabra Flesh Mitt Morrow Pox’. OMG, Obama’s going to infect Mitt Romney with flesh-eating bacteria! Why can’t you people see it!?

And if you don’t think David Axelrod doesn’t know this, you really ought to think again.

As usual, the Grand Conspiracy is so clever that nobody can figure out its sinister undertones except for the conservative blogger spending 5 minutes on Wikipedia. The Conspiracy really oughta step up its game, you know?

Blech, talk radio. The cancerous tumor on the nation’s asshole. Seems like every media market big enough to fill a school bus with has its own meatheaded alpha douche filling the airwaves with garbage. I think they grow the bastards in labs.

Femme Fatale – The Velvet Underground
Ghost of a Chance – Rush
Childhood’s End? – Marillion
Last Great American Whale – Lou Reed
Hold Music – Architecture in Helsinki
Sunshinin’ – The Vines
Renegade – Styx
The Weird Al Show – Weird Al Yankovic
My Generation – The Who
Defying Gravity – Idina Menzel
This one goes to 11: Please, Baby – Big Bad Voodoo Daddy

Looks like it’s Velvet Underground and Associated Acts night ’round here. Can the rest of you keep it up?

Welcome to the club, Jesse! Now, let’s get started with the hazing.

You know, I think the argument “Why didn’t Obama pick true progressive John Edwards?” itself would make the argument obviously snark, let alone the strikethroughs and DLC reference.

Actually, I should probably just post the definitive Mitt’s Veep prognosti-palooza: http://mightygodking.com/index.php/2012/04/10/vice-presidential-prognosticatin-2/

Other candidates who won’t be too exciting to detract from Romney:

Tim Pawlenty
George Will
A cardboard cutout of Ronald Reagan
Jon Arbuckle from Garfield
An aging housecat
An old log covered in moss
A cup of pudding

Guns don’t kill people: Heart-attack guns do!

In The Beginning – The Moody Blues
The Christian Life – The Byrds
Jerry Springer – Weird Al Yankovic
The Tourist – Radiohead
Bold as Love – Jimi Hendrix
Over My Head – The Fray
Love Dog – TV on the Radio
Something For Nothing – Rush
The Water Maiden – Nobuo Uematsu
Secret Journey – The Police
Autumn Leaves – The Bill Evans Trio

R.I.P. Levon.

Tbogg, how dare you focus on such frivolous things as vaginas? Don’t you know that Barack Obama is using drones and it’s all your fault? Because if you wrote about it then everything would be magically wonderful and perfect?

:O) :O) :O) :O) :O) :O)

But don’t hold your breath for the choruses of “You go, girl!” from the feminists.

Oh dearie me, why wouldn’t they applaud? Could it be that they see Mitt Romney the way most other people see him-not as a “catch” but as a hollowed-out sociopath?

As long as we’ve brought it up, everyone sit back and imagine the columns Cuppy and the rest of the clown car would write if Barack Obama had been worth 9 figures when Michelle married him. I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger, indeed.

Well, there’s a connection there-being stoned out of your mind is the only way that Austrian economics makes sense.

As for Jonah trying to draw a jock/nerd connection between Obama and Romney, he is talking about the same Obama who gets cameos in Spiderman comics and does photo-ops with Star Trek cast members, right?