• If buffed barbarians are on display, then Mr. “Dr.” Marcus Bachmann will be front row center…

    And Jeebus must favor marriage equality. After all, wasn’t he the girlfriend that told Michele ‘You really ought to go out with the guy. He’s a “Doctor”!!’

  • Believe me, a bargain matinee showing of ‘The Unconquered, er, The Undefeated’ at a prime time for the hardworking Salt of the Earth Tea Party folk isn’t going to do much better.

    Why? Because there are only about 3,000 Tea Baggers in the USA despite what you see on CNN and Fox.

    Any more members of a cult of morons like that living in America and America would collapse like a Hot Wheels car set on top of a hollowed out stack of syrup-and-margarine-soaked Eggos still sitting on the kitchen table at three pm on a Saturday afternoon while Mom is drunk on the couch and Dad is cruising the mall restroom.

    No one knows what happened to the kids.

    Need I add that the mom and dad are Tea Baggers?

  • tellybelly commented on the blog post Bristol Palin’s Airing of Grievances

    2011-06-23 20:32:14View | Delete

    ” ‘Oh, the complaining’.” – exerpt from Bristol Palin’s book.

    When I woke up, I durn near tripped and fell over my houseshoes. When I went into the kitchen to bristol to mah man about it, he said ‘We need things. Go to the store.’ At the store, I went for the lemons, but they was the color of oleomargarine and bigger than gold bricks. I walked up to the manager and bristoled ‘Wha keint you ever git any good vegetables and fruit and things? Whats the matter with yew?” Henry, thats his name, turned and bristoled ‘Your lucky ah even ordehs any them things ‘cuz all you folks evah buys is Cracker Jacks and RC Cola and Ajax Cleanser and Double Bubble and them carrots and the oranges jus’ go bad and I gotta throw ‘em out!’ Then he commmenced to cryin’ and ah was so sorry ah said that that ah just went and got a box a Eggos and vowed nevah, nevah to bristol at Henry agin ‘cuz he’s real sensitive since I ran over his dawg.’

  • tellybelly commented on the blog post Death Of A Ladies Man

    2011-06-17 09:29:57View | Delete

    Celebrity Rehab indeed…

    I am going to be tasteless and callous enough to suggest that with Dr. Drew Pinsky’s success rate with worn-out celebrities, I would be delighted to see The Grifter Queen make that her next (last?) reality show project.

    There! I said it!!

  • tellybelly commented on the blog post Fenway Eats

    2011-06-13 10:35:35View | Delete

    So happy to see that Fenway is doing better. He does look under the weather in that picture, but the poor baby’s been sick.

    Glad Fenway is on the mind. You will probably have to explain the entire Anthony Wiener saga because I know when I’m sick, I want the pundits off my TV while I get better.

  • tellybelly commented on the blog post Rick Santorum To Once Again Humiliate And Sadden His Family

    2011-06-08 11:14:28View | Delete

    Back in the day, we called that ‘Dysfunctional Family Circle Values’…

  • tellybelly commented on the blog post This Is Not The Tree You Should Be Barking Up

    2011-05-02 11:42:40View | Delete

    And many rugged individualists will be trying desperately to boost a copy from their local Target or WallyWorld because it belongs to them, damn it.

  • tellybelly commented on the blog post James Pethokoukis Is Now Totally Gay For Paul Ryan

    2011-04-27 10:45:47View | Delete

    “Miss Ryan is ageless.”

  • tellybelly commented on the blog post Send In The Clown

    2011-04-27 10:42:31View | Delete

    Totally off-topic but relevant:

    Nicole Sandler, who has an internet radio show and frequently subs for Randi Rhodes, was arrested yesterday evening at a town meeting held by odious crazy congressperson Allan West in Southern Florida for asking a question.

    Am waiting to see if she is on this afternoon to recount what happened.

  • tellybelly commented on the blog post Send In The Clown

    2011-04-27 10:36:24View | Delete

    I can’t remember the last Great White ‘Heterosexual’ Male Hope that was going to save America for the repugs because that had to be, oh, twelve months ago.

    I bet he had his portrait on the cover of National Review at the time…

  • tellybelly commented on the blog post Meet Tomorrow’s Sociopaths Today!

    2011-04-10 06:03:53View | Delete

    And that is where the right’s beloved ‘Social Darwinism’ kicks in. I envision a ‘Road Warrior’ style dragging for Alex behind a cobbled together out of spare parts buggy driven by the spiky-haired punks of that same prophetic movie…

    And, gee, when I saw it in a dollar theater in 1983, I just thought it was violent fun, not a documentary.

  • tellybelly commented on the blog post Meet Tomorrow’s Sociopaths Today!

    2011-04-09 21:29:27View | Delete

    ‘Dagny Taggart’

    Among many, many other things, Ayn Rand wasn’t too good with fictional names.

    But it must have run in her family, since, apparently, they didn’t know how to spell ‘Ann’…

  • tellybelly commented on the blog post Meet Tomorrow’s Sociopaths Today!

    2011-04-09 21:20:03View | Delete

    If you clicked on the video, listened to him, watched his facial tics and noted his PinkPowerShirt&Tie combo, you know why dood is a libertarian:

    1) Is loving the mood-altering drugs (sez his freaky, deaky smile and wild eyes; and
    2) Is as gay as a picnic basket (Thank you, ‘Golden Girls’ writing staff!!)

    He wouldn’t last five seconds in that other bastion of American Selfishness and Irrationality: The Tea Bag Party

  • tellybelly commented on the blog post Drunk Dialing For Dollars

    2011-03-23 12:05:29View | Delete

    “Did you fuck my husband” is an even sadder question when it is obvious to the entire universe that NO ONE would want to fuck Clarence Thomas except her…