xpurg8d commented on the blog post A Gaggle of Geese, A Scrotum of Teabaggers – A Treasury Of Shit I Wrote
Damn. I was holding up pretty well till Nancy had to go remind me about Jennifer. What a pisser.
Do you know how uncomfortable it is to lie here, prone, both arms wrapped around Tbogg’s left ankle, while he limps along the beach and lets the dogs drool on my head? But that’s okay. I’m not lettin’ go.
I hardly ever participated in the Random 10s because I realized I was from another planet and didn’t want to crash an otherwise good party. All my favorites are way different from most of the fine folks who mingle here on Friday nights, what with my tastes having peaked in the sixties (you usually like the music of your adolescence and young adulthood best, probably because it’s when you started figuring out who you are).
But, since so many have talked about great guitar work in this thread, I’ll mention that one of my all-time favorite songs is “How High The Moon?” — Les Paul and Mary Ford’s most fabulous version that played on the radio when I was in kindergarten.
Aw, GWPDA, don’t waste your time. Some people show up late to a party, try to shit in the punchbowl, and only show everyone that they don’t know how to punctuate. Leave it alone and it will eventually come off the bottom of your shoe.
xpurg8d commented on the blog post My Opening Farewell, So Long And Thanks For All The Fish, Oh The Places I Will Go, How Can You Miss Me If I Won’t Go Away, Just Leave Already Fer Chrissakes, Post Thingy
Nobody does it better. But because of that, the rest of us (which means me, myself and I) have spent way too much time enjoying your wisdom and snark and all-around cool shit to read.
So, now I’ll have way more time to spend enjoying my own family. That’s got to be a good thing, right? Do whatever suits you and, if you ever write that book, it’s already on the bestseller list. Happy trails to all the Boggs and Dogs.
xpurg8d commented on the blog post Tim Pawlenty Has Finally Found Someone He Can Beat
Well, Tim must fancy himself one big effing stud. I happen to be a woman in my late 60s, on the smallish side, and “green paint lady” would’ve been sorry if I was there when she vandalized the memorial. Because I would’ve said, “Hey! Stop it!” and then I would have told the cops what she looked like and where she went. Do I look studly now?
Thankfully, George Zimmerman will only turn 33 years old just before the 2016 election. That makes him ineligible to become President in January 2014.
Unless this Congress can get its $h!t together enough to pass an amendment making it possible for, let’s say, anyone who has formally been acquitted of murdering an unarmed teenager to take office before their 35th birthday.
Really, PJEvans and SteveJ are onto something here.
In the mid ’60s I worked for a world class jerk who treated all the “girls” to his leers and suggestions and brush-bys and liked to show nude pictures of his wife to all the “boys” in the office. Everyone spent a good portion of each day steering clear of him. He was worse after lunch (three martinis?) but still managed to hide it when anyone above him in rank was around. Over the years, I’ve worked for and around other such stellar fellows, but Bob was the worst.
But this sounds like something entirely different. The mayor has gone off the rails and apparently has no ability to curb it, even in the face of imminent destruction. He is not acting like a guy who feels free to sexually harass women, he is acting like a guy with a short circuit.
xpurg8d commented on the blog post Geraldo Rivera Will Not Splatter His Man Juice On Jersey
This news just makes me smile.
I used to have a Dan Gurney For President button. It was 1964. It was a joke. Dan Gurney never ran for president. Pat Paulson did run. It was a joke. Most people enjoyed it, because he was cool and funny, and it was a joke.
Donald Trump doesn’t hold a candle to Pat Paulson, or to Dan Gurney, although Trump is a joke. Jesse Ventura has a nice tan.
xpurg8d commented on the blog post Those Bolshevik Rapscallions And Their Blasted Velocipedes
Maybe seeing all those BLUE bikes cruising past her stuck-in-traffic automobile (limo? cab?) makes her think of blue things.
The Blues, that music the dark-skinned people play that attracts the riffraff where she can see them from her window.
Blueberries, the food all those hippies eat that stain her dentures and those of all the people of polite society.
Smurfs, the cartoon characters that attract shrieking, giggling children that make her head hurt by just existing.
Blue States, those awful smudges on the Electoral Maps that remind her how just a little tiny bit of Blue can contaminate the entire damned country with their strange ideas and cause government to take over every facet of her private life like bedroom stuff and, oh, wait…
Yes, that is brownie heresy.
The pecans are fine, but not the marshmallow fluff — that’s for fudge.
Oh, hell. Now the Canadians are laughing at us, because they put out this joke website (like The Onion, only not as funny) and called it “Politico” and a bunch of people fell for it.
Now, just when we most needed Canada to be our friend, they are going to attack us. There aren’t enough brownies with walnuts in the world to combat this.
xpurg8d commented on the blog post Mitt Romney Urges College Graduates To Have Sexytime “For Realsies”
When my daughter was just out of high school (class of ’90) a friend set her up with a blind date. The friend knew this guy who was just so nice and thought said daughter should meet him.
She arranged to go to a matinee movie on a Saturday afternoon. Then they headed to the ice cream parlor. Pretty perfect way to meet someone you don’t know at all, right?
She was home by about 4 p.m., looking distressed. Thinking I needed to go track down the bastard and kill him for what he’d done to my kid, I tried to stay calm as I asked what was wrong.
She said, “He’s Mormon.” I said, well, that’s not the worse thing in the world, it was just a movie and ice cream, blah blah blah and she said, “I didn’t even get to eat my ice cream. He made me sick. He started talking about being done serving his whatchamacallit, you know, that thing Mormon guys go on, and he has some pretty firm ideas about how many children I’m supposed to have for him.”
Mitt would have loved that boy.
What does it say about us that Tbogg gives and gives and gives and all we do is whine about the missing captions? It says that Tbogg is not giving enough, that’s what. I miss those snarky little tidbits with all my heart, too.
I used to have a gardening shirt with the Dorothy Parker quip, “You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.” From the days of the Algonquin Round Table when someone would say the word of the day and each of them would use it in a sentence.
Mrs. Parker is regarded by many (myself included) as a pretty good smartass. So you don’t need to apologize. Brilliant minds and all that.
First, I’m not going to pretend I already knew this stuff, but Google is a wonderful thing.
But, hey, I could tell right away that Lesbian Gym was something special because at my gym they don’t allow anyone to wear high heels while working with free weights. Also too — you can’t tell who the virgins are by their saddle shoes any more.
I hope your birthday was a good one, Mrs. Tbogg. And add my name to the list of weird little internet friends who appreciate your sharing your family with us. Your dogs have helped many, many people smile through some trying times, and your snarky husband is, well, you know, pretty okay hisownself. Don’t think we don’t understand that you’re one of the main reasons Mr. Tbogg holds together at all.
I don’t want Mommy and Daddy to start looking at me with hatred because it’s all my fault that Daddy is so unhappy because he stayed here just for me. I’m sure all your other little internet friends will feel the same. Like everyone else has said, do what’s good for you, and whatever morsels you give us will be accepted with gratitude.
That picture of the lovely and talented one is stunning.
Now, go spend more time with the missus and the bassetts and just check in with the rest of us as it suits you.
Fenway’s treat looks like a thoroughly masticated rawhide chew. Good for a day’s worth of chomping, but I had a dog who tried to swallow one whole once he got it all soggy and limp, and that was a fun day at the doggie doctor.
Leslie (@18) why do you hate Tbogg? He’s not busy enough already?
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