In penance for my sins, I watched the Republican National Convention tonight. Well, mostly, as I did flip to comic relief every once in awhile to the Browns-Bears preseason football game from time to time, and from what I saw there it was possibly one of the worst preseason football games ever, but I digress.
I did see Clint Eastwood’s speech, which had its humorous moments, and Marco Rubio’s, which would have made Torquemada blanch, and then, finally, Mitt Romney’s.
I’ve watched at least parts of lots of political conventions, starting in 1964 when I was six years old. Don’t remember much about those. I was ten when the DNC in Chicago unfolded, which was, to say the least, interesting. Then there was Nixon’s recoronation vs the hope of McGovern, the fresh smiling face of Jimmy Carter vs. the Nice Guy who was so nice he had pardoned Nixon, the truth-telling Carter vs. the American Exceptionalist fantasist Reagan, the I will raise your taxes Mondale vs. Fritzbusters, boring vs. boring, The Man from Hope vs. The Man Who Marveled at Supermarket Barcodes, President Let the Good Times Roll vs. A Mean Old Man, Wooden vs. Awshucks, Mr. Heinz vs. Awshucks, and Hope and Change vs. Another Mean Old Man and his White Trash Sidekick.
After an introduction delivered by a Batista Fascist saying that belief in God was what had founded America and made it great, Mr. Plastic took the stage.
Mitt Romney stuttered and stammered for over a half hour, made choreographed fake smiles, and tried to sell the American people that his experience making millions at Bain Capital by “improving” the companies Bain “invested” in qualified him to become a president who can create jobs. He only looked serious when he was enthusiastically leading cheerleading for unfettered “free enterprise,” ie capitalism, which he equated to families, faith, community, and yes, America itself. He promised unqualified support for Israel and Poland, and implied that his election would result in a new Cold War with Russia.
Never mind that Bain Capital never created a single American job for anyone not in the investor class, though it did destroy thousands. If you want to know how in an entertaining way, see Other People’s Money with Danny Devito and Gregory Peck.
No doubt the M$M will gush about what a fantastic speech Mr. Plastic gave, and no doubt national polls will give the Republican nominee a post-convention bump. Probably. Maybe.
All I could think was, first, do the Republicans really believe this crap? Even the RNC attendees weren’t exactly enthusiastic. And second, was this the best they could do?
Maybe it was, but either one of my cats could have put on a better act.
Obama’s going to destroy this fool.
And I’m still voting for Stewart Alexander. Good night, and good luck.