Late last night I ran into a beguiling metaphor at the Dangling Participle Lounge. Wow, what a figure of speech. She similied at me and I thought, "What’s not to like." She reeked of stimulus.

It is hard to chat-up a metaphor, so I listened. She had had a hard and confusing week. It seems she stumbled out of the gate while extending an open hand that resulted in ruining a planned 100 day honeymoon. Worse, by the end of the week she found herself in the middle of the road giving Bill Stimulus a haircut! It must have been too stimulating for her, because after knocking back a couple of Ablative Absolutes she just kept repeating "haircut" ad nauseum.

When she started talking about meltdowns and the nuclear option my head cleared and I backed away seeing that she was a lost clause. Turns out that like most metaphors, she was shallow and way too easy. At last call I saw her leave hand in hand with two lowlifes – Bottom Line and Bottom of the Ninth.