Oh brother, that’s rich! Suddenly, George W. Bush is no longer the crazy uncle no one wants to talk about. Some key Republicans have stopped running away from him like Usain Bolt with a rocket up his ass to turn and tell the world what a magnificent ass cake the Texas Tugjob really was. With apologies to Sally Field, “They hate him, they really hate him!”

Until now if you brought up George the Lesser in Republican quarters you’d likely get an, “Um, I think I left my lights on,” with a quick exit. Sure they knew he was a carbuncle on the ass of society, but how do you cop to supporting an incompetent boob for eight years and spend the next four blaming all the steaming turds he left on someone else?

It turns out you do it cravenly.

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-Wherehtehellhaveyoubeenfor12years) thinks Obama’s handling of Al Qaeda is Iraq War III. He told Face the Nation, “I have seen this movie before.  I went to Iraq in 2004 and everybody told me things are going fine, this is just a few dead-enders. Iraq was falling apart, and you couldn’t get the truth from the Bush administration.”

I have to agree with him there, but no one got the truth from him either.

Crazy Amir’s Carpets, Home of the $5 Deal

After his famous 2004 trip with John McTheusela, he said, “We went to the market and were just really warmly welcomed. I bought five rugs for five bucks. And people were engaging.” Of course they were, the cracker and the old man traveled through the Green Zone with a scad of soldiers, in heavily armored Humvees (that real soldiers couldn’t get), with helicopter gunships flying top cover. It was the safest everyday Iraqis in the market had felt in years, especially since 88 people died there not long before our fearless twosome stared down Osama himself. Those rugs from Crazy Amir’s Carpet and AK-47 Emporium were the most expensive $5 rugs in history…but good for lying on apparently.

Now Lindsey and his cohorts think, “The Middle East is falling apart, and they’re (the Obama administration) trying to spin what happened in Libya because the truth of the matter is, al Qaeda is alive and well, and counter-attacking.”

True enough. They are alive and well and bombing, but then so is just about every other jackhole in the world – Americans included. But as we learned since then, al Qaeda weren’t even IN Iraq until George the Lesser Texas 2-Stepped in.

We should’ve gotten the hell out of there long before we started to, but with Condi W. George, “victory” was always just around the corner. If there is fault with Obama’s handling of an intractable Iraq mess, it is not coming up with a better solution for a problem that cannot be “solved”. He unwisely followed the plan the previous court jester plan left tucked in the top drawer of the Resolute Desk.

Oh, and two more points. First, Obama has never said al Qaeda is dead. He is acutely aware of their liveliness. In fact, they’re probably responsible for the Benghazi bombing. Second, your boy lost interest in Osama bin Laden while Obama squelched the skeevy bastard with extreme prejudice. So in one swoop, he did more to rid the world of the dangerous knotheads than George did in 8 years. However, there is no way to rid the world of knotheads. If there were, Graham wouldn’t be bloviating now.

Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Disneyland) is criticizing Obama for a lack of embassy security, that he – “Oops, I forgot to mention that” -  voted against. He compares Obama’s Middle East policies to “Mission Accomplished” George’s. “…when President George W. Bush went aboard an aircraft carrier and said, ‘Mission Accomplished,’ I listened, rightfully so, to people saying, look, but there are still problems, and they’re still dying,” Issa said. “And quite frankly, things got worse in many ways after that famous statement.”

Duh. Ya think? Of course things weren’t bad enough to vote against Bush’s mission, accomplished or otherwise, now were they?

Mission Accomplished Moment?  Um…No

“We’re going through a ‘Mission Accomplished’ moment,” Issa now says with no sense of irony. “Eleven years after September 11, Americans were attacked on September 11 by terrorists who pre-planned to kill Americans. That happened. And we can’t be in denial, particularly when there are compounds all over the Middle East that need to be legitimately protected at a level that security professionals ask for.”

Darrel, you’re completely right of course. The Obama administration didn’t protect the Benghazi embassy and they should have. We do need to know what happened. The story is in knots and the Administration must be honest, admit mistakes, present plans to fix them, and move on. Whether Obama and Biden personally knew about requests is beside the point. Whether it was al Qaeda or not is beside the point. Whether you and the rest of the Boehner Boys voted against funding is beside the point. The cock-up came on their watch and it is their responsibility.  But a “Mission Accomplished moment”?  Um…no.

Go ahead and investigate, but don’t be too pious about it and keep it fair. Remember, you were investigated for financial irregularities, grand theft auto, and illegal gun charges? You got a fair hearing. You might want to keep that in mind as an example of how to get problems solved.

Speaking of fairness, let’s not heap all this on the Republicans. Bush-era Dems voted like people sans vertebrae for 8 years. They aren’t so happy to trot that out today because they are afraid to and don’t have the morals to admit they screwed Barney during the Bush years. But then, the Republicans always were the ballsy ones.

Let’s not forget, Iraq and Afghanistan ain’t over and they never will be. People are still dying. We’re still paying off the huge off-budget bill for George’s nearly decade-long drunken spree. And, other hot spots crop up faster than the Great Ursine God Smokey can stomp them out. The problems, many of which were there long before George the Lesser was a twinkle in George the Ancient’s eye, are still problems with no solutions. It is not because people haven’t tried, but because you can’t solve terror or win a war that is no such thing. That is precisely why the candidates would rather walk over a broken glass, weenie roast bonfire than talk about the bedamned places.

Nope, there was plenty of blame to spread then and there is plenty of it to go around now. I’d recommend any politician who drives the Lindsey-Issa Craven Expressway to check their tires before they start the trip.

They’re bound to have a blowout.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks! More than politics, more than pop culture & humor.