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These are the Only Candidates We Can Field?

9:30 am in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

The Barack Obama faithful are enthusiastically lining up behind their man even as a healthy heap of Democrats and moderates are either going elsewhere or sitting on the fence. It’s early yet, but polls already show Obama making few inroads against a gaff-prone, non-committal, out of touch boob of a pandermeister. That is not a good thing, early or not.I’ll confess up front that I wasn’t a dyed-in-the-wool Obama man in 2008. I felt as I usually do in Presidential elections – we have more than 300 million people in this country and these are the best we can field? At one point or another I toyed with almost all the candidates and found each of them lacking – some more than others.

However, I was sure of one thing. John McTheusela and Moosilini Mom were potentially even worse than George the Lesser – and those are big cowboy boots to fill. The nation was in the crapper and a cranky, serial panderer with skin as thin as a condom paired with an illiterate, half-term governor with an expensive clothes jones would only make things worse. So, it came down to a razor-thin choice between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama…and an opportunity to be called sexist by Hillary supporters and racist by Barack supporters depending on who I eventually voted for. Either way, I was pre-convicted in the court of public “isms” with only bad choices available.

Even though neither candidate was perfect, as none will ever be, I looked at both sets of campaign promises and found each acceptable to vote for.

Prepared for the Unpreparable

Those promises aside, I felt Hillary was as prepared to become President as anyone could be for a job for which nobody is truly qualified. My biggest knock against her was a belief that Republicans would make her an even more polarizing figure than she was as First Lady and that weakness would make digging out of the Bushole even tougher than it already was.

Barack had something the Cowboy With No Hat sorely lacked for 8 years – charisma and an ability to speak with a degree of intelligence while not sounding like an ignorant, shit-kicking goat-roper wearing Presidential Seal boots. Still he had a disturbing habit of speaking with his chin up and slightly pouted lip not unlike Mussolini. I also had dim hopes he could weasel at least some bipartisanship out of the MMA ring that is American politics. However, I didn’t completely buy into the whole Hope and Change thing. I may be a skeptic, but there’s a reason they call politics politics and some sunshine in the air never lasts, especially when Mitch “Yertle the Turtle” McConnell announced getting rid of the Kenyan Communist was his first, and only, priority for the next 4 years. Mitch may be an asscake, but he is true to his word.

While the current Obamunites have many good points proving things have gotten better, the general populace is still restive for some good reasons.

Yes, the previous Crapweasel-in-Chief tanked the economy, but the O-Man’s successes since then have been modest. When you sit in the Big Chair all issues great and small become your issues on Day 1, fairness and the poor ability for Presidents to cure economic ills notwithstanding. It goes with the crappy job. Besides, Obama’s economic cures started as small retools of flawed Bushian solutions he timidly deployed and including provisions – like excessive executive pay redress – falling by the wayside. Selecting a fox from the chicken coop for TreasSec, Timmy Geithner wasn’t a way to get tough with Big Ballsy St. either.

Sure, he sneaked a sort of health care past the perpetually healthy and wealthy crowd, but he did it by conceding plenty before his minions even entered the negotiation room – a used car salesman he clearly isn’t. He also picked it as his signature issue and decided to do it as his first big order of business – a rookie tactical mistake.

Pandering Isn’t an Altogether Bad Thing

LGBT rights were a general success, though he still straddles a line between saying what’s good for gays is good for the country and waffling on his “personal” belief that letting no man tear asunder God’s assertion that marriage doesn’t apply to gays. But he got it largely through, proving pandering isn’t an altogether bad thing.

But he’s not only been worthless on my core issues, he’s actually taken the Bush line and made it worse. Civil rights and a reasonable expectation that drones won’t be colonoscoping my kiester are hardly mentioned anymore. There is still a de facto suspension of habeas corpus and you can’t talk on your unregulated phone without being tapped and spied by ubiquitous street-corner TV cameras. Watch the TV show Person of Interest for a real reality show way more true than Snooki and Co.

I still have to strip to my skivvies to catch a flight and stand in a long, ill-tempered line for the privilege. Gitmo’s still an open sore on our international reputation and corporations and their Gods-on-Earth still run amok. And, despite quasi-draw downs both Iraq and Afghanistan are still wars no matter how you look at them. We fly drones over our erstwhile ally Pakistan with the same impunity we use them to spy on our own people and prop up an Afghanasshole who pisses on our shoes while we say, “thank you sir, may we have another squirt?”

No doubt, Obama has made headway and should get his just props, especially while doing it with an anvil tied around his neck. Am I, like the American people, demanding too much of a mere mortal? Yes, but we vote to get Gods, not Joe the plumber. We’re Americans. We’re funny that way.

No President ever measures up completely, but some do a much better job than others. All things equal, if I had a viable choice, I’d be looking for my God elsewhere. But, Mittens is not only unviable, he looks suspiciously like a Stepford Husband. As the election grows near, I’m shopping for a clothes pin for my nose and getting ready to vote for Mr. Obama.

And, wondering how we can have 300 million people and these are the only candidates we can field.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks! More than politics, more than pop culture.

John Hagee Doesn’t Like Pat Tillman…Or Me Either

7:36 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Pastor John Hagee doesn’t like me. I know this because I’m an Atheist. He told me I don’t belong here. America is a Christian-only nation he says. He says if I don’t pray to the Big Guy, read the Bible, and dismiss all other religions I should just get the hell out, go back where I came from. Although, America is where I came from. He says I have no right to live in my own country which seems a downright uneighborly thing for a Christian to say.

But, it’s OK. I don’t care much for John either. His spittle gets in my eyes. And his Christian brimstone breath? Wooo, give that man an ecumenical Tums®!

John’s making a big hubbub on his website this week. It’s D-Day and he’s effusively thanking all those people who have defended this country. He should thank them. They’ve defended his contemptible ass’s right to launch hateful, bigoted screeds at the top of his lungs. God Bless America! Or in the case of we Atheists and other religious vermin…USA…USA…USA!

I know John is a little weak on American history, so I’d like to fill in some of his blanks. John, there were Atheists at Normandy and Salerno, Guadalcanal and Saipan. Atheists were in the skies over Germany and on the field with General Washington. They served in Korea, Viet Nam, the War of Error and the followup Wars of Even Bigger Errors that still dog us. So were Muslims and Catholics and Jews and probably even some Wiccans and Satanists. I hear you’re none to fond of those folks either, but they were there. So were gay soldiers, sailors, and airmen, but that’s another of your screeds and another of my posts.

I served John. I was a Cold Warrior. Got a medal to prove it and everything. I’m one of those guys who helped St. Ronnie of Reagan personally and single-handedly knock down the Berlin Wall. You remember Ronnie. Tall guy. Prayed a lot. But no need to thank me, being as how I’m an Atheist and all.

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Calling Caspar Milquetoast a Thug

1:44 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Care Bear-in-Chief made an ill-advised move to put the hammer – or more like a feather – down on SCOTUS. The hyperbole begins. Charges of  “playing politics” fly from the mouths of some of the most partisan politicos the world has ever seen. It’s just another shite-storm in Rancorstan.

Karl Rove decided the O-Man is, “some kind of political thug”. A thug that comes into the health care fight wearing a lace glove and with two hands tied behind his back and a shiv already sticking out between his ribs. Of course, Karl would know about such things since he is the embodiment of  bad faith and shakily ethical politiking.

Karl thinks Obama, by virtue of being President, gives up his First Amendment right to say anything he wants about the Court or even Rowe. Talk about your political “activism”. In fact, you can make a case that Obama is right on many counts. However, to suggest he will wreck the Constitution and bring about the end of the Republic while somehow intimidating the court is piffle.

Hot Air from the BalloonThe court is an independent branch of government and under no obligation to make a decision based on political opinion. The idea they can be intimidated as Karl suggests is absurd at best and disingenuous at worst. Karl’s idea of Obama’s move is about as empty a threat anyone can muster. Rove’s translation of Obama’s statement, “You better uphold my law or there’s going to be political damage created and I’ll help do some of the creating,” is just hot air out of the balloon – Karl Rove autographed edition.

Now giving Karl some credit, he isn’t the only one flinging Molicrapitov bombs. Appeals court judge Jerry Smith took the “unpresidented” step of ordering the administration to produce a 3-page letter – not 2-page or 4-page and single spaced, not double spaced letter- from the administration to explain themselves. Apparently Smith believes his court’s responsibility is to act as third grade teacher. Check that. Act as a third grader.

BTW your honor, I’d be happy to produce a letter – punctuated and formatted any way you like – to defend my assertion you are a whining crapweasel. Far be it from me to bully your honor or SCOTUS, given the immense political power I have over you and the Supremes.

SCOTUS is, like it or not, a political animal. The President recommends the justices  and the Senate approves them. I don’t think anyone could reasonably argue that a Congress and President viciously divided against themselves aren’t “playing politics” whenever possible. And thinking Karl isn’t the worst of the worst – or best of the best  depending on your point of view – is fantasy enough to have you committed to the closest asylum post-haste. After all, politicos are live in highly partisan institutions. Playing politics is what they do. In fact, it is what they are supposed to do.

The Business of the People Luckily, the court has been reasonably responsible for most of the nation’s history. Sometimes they make decisions I may not agree with and certainly decisions none of the professional politicians agree with, but that is what it is designed to do.

Would I have done as Obama did? No. Would I have criticised the Supremes during the State of the Union address? No.

In hindsight, even Obama agrees. He’s walking the statement back and that walkabout probably hurts him more than the original statement anyway. I’m sure it doesn’t change his mind unless he’s got some Romney DNA that makes him a compulsive pander bear with no mind to change.

We already have enough to distract us from the business of the people – unless the business happens to be acting stupid.

Fer Chrissakes, give it a break.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Rush Limbaugh, The Man With No Toes

6:05 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Rush Limbaugh has an uncanny knack for shooting himself in the foot every time he speaks – which is about as often as a continuous-fire Gatling gun with an inexhaustible supply of ammo. Quite frankly, I believe the man has no toes left. He lost the shriveled pea in his head long ago. Thank God, the rattling was driving me crazy.

Rush likes to exercise his First Amendment Right to free speech with extreme prejudice. He’s allowed to do that. The Constitution only talks about free speech. It says nothing about stupid speech. He can insult much as he likes and he’d be legally right. Morally right is something with which Rush has only a nodding acquaintance.

In the panoply of things he’s said about others and that others have said about him, calling someone a slut and prostitute is pretty tepid. I’m sure George Carlin’s advice would be, “Hey, they’re only words man. They won’t hurt you.”

I agree. In fact, people have called me much worse and I didn’t get mad about it. It goes with the territory. But then, I have rhino-like skin and am very poorly socialized. I also like to piss off people like Rush and The Dittohead Nation, so any verbal havoc I can raise is icing on the cake baby. Still, I know others aren’t so thick-skinned and will be outraged when he says stupid things.

He will go on – as he did in Slutgate – standing at a podium in a huge, imaginary stadium and nodding and thrusting his chin out like Mussolini to accept the rapture from the likes of FoxThe Conservative News, and CNSNews.

As he had done so many times before, Rush said something stupid, doubled down on it, and watched the advertisers jump ship like Captain “I Forgot My Glasses” Schettino of the Costa Concordia. Finally, he issued an apology blaming everyone except himself.

With Rush, these things never last long. He’ll immediately ignore it as soon as the chatter blows over as if it never existed at all. Rush’s Rubes will finally stop slobbering and pretend as if it never existed. Eventually, enough of them will drift back so that advertisers will see a large block of people who are easily fooled and start advertising to separate them from their money. Think a 7-month plague…with a lot of weaselry going on.

To the extent that Rush babbled when he should’ve bobbled, he brought things on himself. He could’ve saved himself some bucks by simply keeping his perpetually flapping pie hole closed, but it doesn’t matter.

Rush knows the money will be back as sure as there will be a morning tomorrow. Though money appeals to him like a jackal loves a T-Bone, he managed to highlight some important testimony that otherwise would’ve appeared next to the pork belly prices  in the newspaper. In an odd sort of way, he handed the Democrats something of a victory, tiny though it may be. Lots of people heard not only the insults, but also the actual issue. And judging from the advertiser rebellion, more people were agin’ him trather than fer him.

This entire thing could’ve been avoided if Rush STF up for a change and lefties ignored him (unlike me). In the end, it will all turn out to be a wash. The teabaggers will brew a fresh pot. The Obamainatorists will continue to call him a numbskull and life will go on with more important, or at least more entertaining, fare.

Like the 6 billionth Republican “debate”.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Flushing Rush Is Too Good For Him

7:10 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Update Limbaugh apologizes to law student for insult (5:53 PST)

If nothing else, Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke is a class act. She’s a young woman who understands the best thing you can do when attacked by an unlanced boil on the ass of humanity like Rush Limbaugh, is to hold your head high and keep your cool.

Me? I’m not so charitable.


Limbaugh, a man who once called for the execution of drug users while being an Oxycontin addict himself, says inflammatory and outrageous things all the time – though judging from the fact he hasn’t been executed yet suggesting he does not practice what he preaches. You can expect no less from a blubber-coated blowhard, 12-rungs below pond scum on the evolutionary ladder.

To defend the indefensible, is itself indefensible. The only defense of his words is that he is legally exercising his First Amendment right of free speech, assholish though they are. Though it pains me, I’ll even back him up on that. However, that didn’t stop Rush from doubling down by being an asscake in an attempt to become a crapweasel. His response to the hubbub is to demand sex tapes in exchange for contraception.

‘Morans’ are Always on the Sex Train

“Femi-nazis, here’s the deal,” he said. “If we are going to pay for your contraceptives, and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something for it. We want you [sic] post the videos online so we can all watch.”

I’m not charitable toward the “moran” because he’s a bully. He sits in his untouchable Excellence in Broadcasting (EIB) booth bloviating into a gold-plated microphone while showing off a model of his private jet in the background and if there is one thing I cannot brook, it’s a cowardly bully.

I’d advise the coward to pick on someone his own size, but we’re fresh out of sumo wrestlers. But I’m a bit portly, so I’ll take his fat ass on. I’ll even spot him the 100 lbs, by which he outweighs me if he wants to take the chance.

I’m ready to rumble anytime you are Rush. Have voice, will travel. Still, it is an unfair fight to go up against a man with the acumen of a donut. Like shooting drug addicts in a barrel it is.

He’s not the only shitheel here either. Insanitorum, Mittens, and cryin’ John Boehner attacked Rush’s words with the most flaccid responses they could think of. Again, it’s like shooting fish in a barrel, because they have the acumen of jelly-filled donuts who can’t think on their feet.

‘We Make It Up, You Drink the Tea’

And let’s not forget the lunkheads at, “We make it up, you drink the tea” Fox. In fact, I’ll take all you idiots on at the same time. It should be as easy as kicking the shit out of a school yard bully.

And finally, the boycotts. It’s a nice sentiment. really it is. However, those companies have supported the Hillbilly Ass Catcher for years and no one thought to boycott them all the other times he’s gone bat shit crazy on the air.

In this case, the boycotts will ultimately mean zilch. As soon as the balloon juice blows through EIB HQ other sponsors will line up to sell the prols penis enhancers and instruction videos from the Sinclair Institute of Man on Horse Sex Not Safe For Work . As every CEO says, “We’re in the business of making money and a sucker’s born every minute.”

Some of my readers liken me to an old man sitting on his porch and throwing fire crackers at the birds. To be sure I don’t go easy on the charlatans and Future Felonists of America crowd, but I’m not normally this rabid. I calls ‘em like I sees ‘em and I sees a World Class, Puss-Filled bully that won’t dare invite anyone into his studios for the spanking he deserves. That is unless he’s reading this and somehow grew a backbone this week.

Ready when you are Rush. Prepare to be flushed.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!