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Akin Didn’t ‘Misspeak’, He Believes Every Word

5:47 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Campaign 2012 is like most campaign years. It’s mean, it’s nasty, it’s vituperous. There is plenty of truth stretching and truth breaking and as many opinions as people who have them. Dump trucks of dollars blow in an ill wind and the intransigent become the immovable. This is politics American style and for better or worse many people have come to see it as a big game in which everything is fair in love and…well, you know the rest.

To intelligent and sane observers this travesty sucks the nation deeper into the muck at the bottom of a very deep well. It is depressing really. Many people who used to faithfully follow the issues and reliably vote their conscience – right or left – based on the best possible information are opting out of America’s foremost democratic privilege.

It appears sanity left the barn long ago – perhaps too long ago to coral it now. Intelligence is already edging to the door, so let’s discuss it before it too slips irretrievably away.

Although gross partisanship, shameful tactics, and misrepresentations are reprehensible, there is a growing element of willful ignorance carrying the day.

The Fable of the ‘Legitimate Rape’

Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) is the latest example. On Sunday, he spouted his now infamous lines about women’s bodies being able to correct the effects of “legitimate rape”.

First, what is a legitimate vs. an illegitimate rape? Second, Akin is repeating a “medical” position from the 13th century. Its non-validity should be beyond question for anyone with even a marginal acquaintance with human reproduction, women, rape victims, or news about rape. Still, he’s not alone. Just ask state Rep. Stephen Freind (R-PA) who estimated the chance a rape victim would become pregnant as “one in millions and millions and millions.

Both Freind and Akin ‘apologized‘ with the usual ‘I misspoke’ homilies. Akin still says he’ll not drop out of his senate race, but the man has become such an albatross around Mitt the Ancient Mariner’s neck the GOP will soon pitch him overboard – with an anvil tied around his neck. Politically, he is not long for this world.

But the amazing thing is not that he said something so stupid. The amazing thing is he apparently believes this stuff. He didn’t ‘misspeak’. He believes every word and he joins a growing and ignominious list of people who seem to believe similar stupid things without hesitation.

The Unauthorized Colonoscopies Are on Mordak

Birthers ‘know’ Obama is a Kenyan communist, despite every kind of proof that anyone can give. They aren’t just politicking, they believe it – fervently -  in the same way some people believe UFOs swept down in the night and treated them to unauthorized colonoscopies. It doesn’t matter what proof they get, as if there was something that hadn’t already been handed over, it will not convince them otherwise.

Michele Bachmann believed the U.S. Census was an Obama plot to collect everyone and put them in FEMA interment camps. There is no reason to distrust what she says. I saw her say it and she seemed pretty genuine to me. Besides, she has a whole string of these fantasies including curing teh gay and communists behind every pillar in Washington – among others.

Pat Robertson believes hurricanes strike because people support gays. He also believes he can pray them away from his hometown. Just last week he said international adoptions are a bad idea because the kids, “grow up weird“. There is no shortage of the things the man doesn’t hallucinate and believe with all his heart.

Long is the list of loons who believe being gay is not only a guarantee they are pedophiles, but that they’re also trying to recruit other pedophiles like some To Catch a Predator army recruiter. DADT is in place, but for years many people believed you were somehow less gay if you weren’t asked if you were gay.

Just ordinary – and sometimes some decidedly not-so-ordinary – folks cite their constitutional rights by claiming the Declaration of Independence grants them. This might not be so bad if you pointed out they were looking at the wrong parchment and they corrected themselves. Instead, try it and you’ll get an earful of how your socialist ways mean nothing and the Declaration does so grant rights.

Spelling-Challenged Sign Makers

From severely spelling-challenged sign makers to those who believe the Constitution guarantees the right to deprive non-Christians of their citizenship, we’ve become a nation of supreme nincompoops.

This many stupid people, this many unable to verify the easily verifiable people, led by those who are equally ignorant cannot be simple happenstance. It is willful ignorance. It is the kind of ignorance you couldn’t break with a 12-megaton bomb. It is the ignorance of the tree stump or can of peas. If you looked up the word “imbecile” in the dictionary, you would see a picture of someone like Akin, Robertson, or Bachmann.

These people, some with college degrees, believe a degree makes you an dangerous elitist unqualified to speak about education. Yet, they are quite loud in their own educational theories.

They hold forth about how education is impossible without pitching biology or anthropology in favor of a theory that men and dinosaurs once roamed the Earth side-by-side. They see nothing wrong with removing verifiable historical facts from history curricula and replacing them with half-truths better suited to their ignorance of history. They see nothing wrong, because they believe what they spout.

Clearly Akin has to go, and he will just as soon as the RNC can slip some free weights around his neck. But let’s not forget why he has to go. It isn’t because he’s an ideologue. It isn’t because his apologies are about as sincere as Hitler’s promise not to invade the Poland. It isn’t because he is anti-abortion or had a slip of the tongue.

It is because he is truly, unexaggeratedly stupid…stupid in the largest, most perfect sense of the word in which he believes every ignorant syllable he uttered.

Forgive them Lord for they know exactly what they do…they are stupid.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks! More than politics, more than pop culture & humor

Newt Gingrich: Leading the Cockroach Ticket

2:58 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Newt's Dick

AND THEN I TOLD MARIANNE… – “Darlin’, I got some serious junk here and there’s just too much of Newt to not share the wealth.”

Newt Gingrich has an ego as big as all outdoors, or at least a big as Donald Trump’s. He’s a historian with only a nodding acquaintance with text book history and his own self-professed place in it.  The other thing Newt has is a propensity for pissing people off. People like voters and political allies in his own party. While this isn’t an altogether useless skill in an election, it isn’t so great when a President has to work with people rather than through them. If cockroaches will survive nuclear holocaust Newt will be right there tossing garbage to them.

Newt and the Bulldog
The Grey One has already screwed the pooch in the opinion of most political pundits. Screwed the bulldog just like The Crazy One, The Pizza Deliverer, Governor Big Hair, and The Unknown Candidate. He’s left competing with The Even Crazier One, The Crazy Little Old Man, and The Moronic Mormon.  As long as evangelicals, pissed off white guys, and the rest of the Ignorati from small, unimportant states vote like lemmings he’ll still be winner take all on pure political gutsiness.

Make no mistake, Newt will become the candidate. I’m not a believer in legislating personal behavior , but a man pandering to values voters while having none of his own isn’t a problem. The values folks vote that way all the time and a little pecker-waving is a small price to pay beating The Messiah (oh, and BTW, when’s he going to show us his birth certificate?). By election time, the Mormon will have as big a reputation for never meeting a position he didn’t like and revealing his birth certificate instead of his 0% tax rate forms will be the least of his problems.

Newt is Newt
Newt will stride across the GOP stage like John McTheusela and try to convince the Republicans that running as President and Vice President at the same time is a good thing. After all, he’s Newt and Newt is more powerful than God. Still, some single-payer corporate grifters will kibosh the idea and force Newt to take on a wildly ridiculous running mate, maybe a Dan Quayle comeback.

The Dems will float a Biden Presidential run because they are just as afraid of Newt as the few thinking Republicans are.  But eventually, The Messiah will clinch the nomination after some public cat herding. Eventually, the Obamunator will win by the skin of his socialist nose after Newt’s hubris trips him up by saying something so weird even the Republicans can’t overlook it – perhaps moving into the White House immediately after his nomination.

Never underestimate the power of a man who can schtup wife two while taking on the Stepford Wife with the bad hair and can explain that the whole thing was Calista’s doing.

Hey, it could happen.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Independence Doesn’t Spring From Ignorance

11:16 am in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

It’s no secret that many young Americans graduate from school with little more than the knowledge of where to find the cheat codes for the  Call of Duty electronic game. Only a small number know how to use a globe or know you have to pay interest on credit card debt. They expect to start jobs with $100,000 salaries…at McDonalds. And enough math skills to balance a checkbook? Fugetaboutit!

Every holiday a plethora of polls expose the latest statistics for American Dumbassness. This year it’s a July 4th Marist poll pointing out that only 26% percent of Americans (4o% of 18-29 year olds) don’t know which country we fought in the American revolution.

Clearly, we’ve done a bad job of educating our children and parenting them in such a way that they’re ready to learn basic skills. But then, it’s hard for a parent or teacher raised in a dysfunctional educational system to teach subjects for which they’re only moderately better prepared than their students. Think of a copy machine. As you make copies of copies of copies, each new copy progressively degrades more.

Of course, there are many reasons for the collapse and just as many ideas of how to put the wheels back on the school bus. The Every Child Left Behind Act, school voucher programs, the abandonment of tried and true teaching methods and curricula, and cataclysmic budget cuts all do their part. Members of the ignorati, like Rick Santorum, simply believe only liberals are responsible.

It’s appalling that kids don’t know who we bested (geography lesson: not England – they aren’t the same thing) at Yorktown (crib note: it’s in Virginia along the York River). It’s even more appalling that parents, teachers, and politicians trying to win seats in the very heart of American democracy know just as little as the kids they’ve helped intellectually cripple.

American education policy is in a shambles. It seems all we can do about it is spew dogma at each other. Since dogma is a “big word”, here’s a little vocabulary help. One definition of dogma is, “a point of view or tenet put forth as authoritative without adequate grounds“. Do you know how I know that definition? I learned how to use a dictionary.

Study up kids. You should know what your soon-to-be adult screeds mean before you end up being incapable of delivering them.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Michele Bachmann, Amy Myers: ‘Let’s Get Ready to Rumble!’

6:14 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Michele Bachmann is a multi-talented woman. Conspiracy theorist. Miscommunication expert – in both the with and without 100 word freestyle Teleprompter events. Spinner of wild fantasies. Stand up comedian. The list is endless. She’s a barrel of laughs. The nation is lucky to have such comic relief in an era of unbroken heartbreak.

She’s also a member of the ignorati, those folks possessing brains the rough size and intellectual heft of an overcooked turnip. Aside from the obvious, we know she is a card-carrying member because a New Jersey high school sophomore wants to go mano a mano with ‘Chele in a debate about civics, history, and the Constitution. A debate that’ll never happen in a million years.

Amy Will Take Her in Three Rounds
Amy Myers, has Michele’s number though. “The frequent inability you have shown to accurately and factually present even the most basic information about the United States,” pits “my public education against your advanced legal education,” Amy says.

I’ll bet on Amy, even if she is one of the Every Child Left Behind generation.

“As one of a handful of women in Congress, you hold a distinct privilege and responsibility to better represent your gender nationally,” Amy says. “Though politically expedient, incorrect comments cast a shadow on your person and by unfortunate proxy, both your supporters and detractors alike often generalize this shadow to women as a whole.”

I’d be happy if she better represented the human race, but I’m always left hanging.

Will Michele take up the challenge? I doubt it. She may be stupid, but she’s just smart enough to understand Amy would hand her perky little ass to her on a platter. Sort of a Glenn Beck in a conservative cloth coat.

No Michele will “debate” her goobulent peers instead. Sarah Palin. Newt “The Snoot” Gingrich. Rick “Lock Me Away In a Sanitorium” Santorum. Donald “King of the Motherfu*kin’ World” Trump – even though he’s dropped out of the race and Michele keeps asking him where he got the “hot” do.

A Plaid Skirt Covered Ass
It’s a sad state of affairs when an allegedly serious candidate for public office wouldn’t know a fact if it bit her on her plaid skirt-covered ass. It’s a sad state of affairs when a 16-year old calls you out for your stupidity. And it’s really sad that a serious candidate won’t engage in the debate because she can’t comprehend the kid’s letter.

“Proxy? Huh?”

I’m ready to start the Smoothie Party right now. No more of this Chai Tea and Sumatran blend coffee party stuff. I’m willing to vote for Amy now. You should be too. We need someone with an ounce of sense in the White House. Someone to rebut the tea swillers and miscreants. Someone who knows the meaning of “proxy”. Someone, dare I say it, with a brain.

Come on ! Who’s with me?!!

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

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