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Mitt the Merry Prankster and Barack the Pusher Downer

9:01 am in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Kids do stupid things. Sometimes they know no better. Other times Mom and Dad don’t teach them right from wrong because they’re morons who don’t know right from wrong either. And sometimes, kids are just evil seeds. Yes, kids do stupid and inexplicable things. It is the way of the world.

Sometimes the stupid things catch up to them as adults. Mitt Romney is in that PR hell now. He supposedly led a group of boys – there’s that leadership thing he goes on and on about – and held down a kid with a ponytail, cut it off, and badgered the kid for being gay. That’s the sort of thing that causes kids to commit suicide these days. It probably did back then too, you just didn’t hear about it as often because suicide besmirched the family reputation so much it was hidden as often as not.

The Romney Hairborne Legion Attacks One of the bully boys met the poor hairless sot later in life. He learned that, indeed, the kid had been gay and the Romneycut had been a life changing affair. The member of the Romney Hairborne Legion apologized. It came late, but at least the guy apologized and owned up to his stupid youth.

On the other hand, Mitt first categorically denied it happened. Then he said it, um, MIGHT have happened and if it did he apologized. He defended his stupid youth by passing off the incident, if it happened at all, as a “prank” and using the bee’s knees, 1930 buzzword of the day, “hijinx”. Very jolly. Very fun. Twenty-three skidoo.

Now I’ve been on the receiving end of bullying up close and personal and stupidly reciprocated a time or two. But, a wedgie is a prank. Holding someone down, roughing them up because they’re gay, and cutting off their hair is a prank,  if by prank you mean something like waterboarding.

But hey, maybe it didn’t even happen. Never know. Mittens forgot. Besides, Mitt says he didn’t know the kid was gay.

Now the Mittenites have ferreted out a passage from Obama’s book, Dreams From My Father, in which he cops to once shoving a girl because his classmates teased him about the possibility that she was his girlfriend. He yelled at her and she ran away.

Some conservative pundasses – like Sean Hannity – rejoiced at this “good news”. “We have uncovered somebody who has actually admitted to engaging in real inappropriate behavior as a youth.”  He pointed out that Obama also openly admits he used drugs and alcohol as a youth, saying it “puts Romney and the bully issue to shame.”

A Drinking, Stoned College Kid…Really? Sean, a college kid who drank too much and fired up a doob or two…in 1980 fer chrissakes? Really? Now that’s some outlaw behavior. Real send ‘em to the gallows stuff. Nothing like your fellow anti-bully Rush Limbaugh’s brush with OxyContin and hydrocodone. Good thing he took his rehab time to reflect on his contention that drug addicts deserved life sentences. Change is good, eh Rush? Especially when yours is the life being sentenced.

But if you’re truthful about your own youth – face it, if you are this stupid as an adult you must’ve been a colossal moran [sic] as a kid – you probably kicked the crap out of some kid every morning before smoking the third  joint of the day while cooling your bruised dukes with a 6-Pack of Old Milwaukee. But we’ll never know because I suspect your memory on that score is as bad as the Scion of Salt Lake’s.

No true blue conservative would ever engage in such brutish, bullying behavior except, well, George the Lesser. Sort of a reverse noblesse oblige and all that. His cocaine and Wild Turkeyfests are well known. He looks like he has a little Captain in him if you catch my drift. I’d wager Skull and Crossbones had some ass-kicking hazing rituals too. But let bygones be bygones shall we?

So yes, Obama admitted his dirty deeds. Admitted them without anyone even asking. Sean, your boy can’t even remember if it happened. But you know what, however lopsided the rights and wrongs appear to be in both these cases it doesn’t much matter.

Both of them did something wrong. But once you’ve done a wrong, there is really no way to stuff it back under the rock from which it came. It sticks to you like glue.

The only thing you can do is apologize and try to make amends. Adults, when charged with stupid childish behavior, do not say, “Mom! It’s OK if I do it, he did it too!”  To which any wise Mom (or voter) would answer, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

Two stupid kids don’t make a President either.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks! More than politics, more than pop culture

Flushing Rush Is Too Good For Him

7:10 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Update Limbaugh apologizes to law student for insult (5:53 PST)

If nothing else, Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke is a class act. She’s a young woman who understands the best thing you can do when attacked by an unlanced boil on the ass of humanity like Rush Limbaugh, is to hold your head high and keep your cool.

Me? I’m not so charitable.


Limbaugh, a man who once called for the execution of drug users while being an Oxycontin addict himself, says inflammatory and outrageous things all the time – though judging from the fact he hasn’t been executed yet suggesting he does not practice what he preaches. You can expect no less from a blubber-coated blowhard, 12-rungs below pond scum on the evolutionary ladder.

To defend the indefensible, is itself indefensible. The only defense of his words is that he is legally exercising his First Amendment right of free speech, assholish though they are. Though it pains me, I’ll even back him up on that. However, that didn’t stop Rush from doubling down by being an asscake in an attempt to become a crapweasel. His response to the hubbub is to demand sex tapes in exchange for contraception.

‘Morans’ are Always on the Sex Train

“Femi-nazis, here’s the deal,” he said. “If we are going to pay for your contraceptives, and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something for it. We want you [sic] post the videos online so we can all watch.”

I’m not charitable toward the “moran” because he’s a bully. He sits in his untouchable Excellence in Broadcasting (EIB) booth bloviating into a gold-plated microphone while showing off a model of his private jet in the background and if there is one thing I cannot brook, it’s a cowardly bully.

I’d advise the coward to pick on someone his own size, but we’re fresh out of sumo wrestlers. But I’m a bit portly, so I’ll take his fat ass on. I’ll even spot him the 100 lbs, by which he outweighs me if he wants to take the chance.

I’m ready to rumble anytime you are Rush. Have voice, will travel. Still, it is an unfair fight to go up against a man with the acumen of a donut. Like shooting drug addicts in a barrel it is.

He’s not the only shitheel here either. Insanitorum, Mittens, and cryin’ John Boehner attacked Rush’s words with the most flaccid responses they could think of. Again, it’s like shooting fish in a barrel, because they have the acumen of jelly-filled donuts who can’t think on their feet.

‘We Make It Up, You Drink the Tea’

And let’s not forget the lunkheads at, “We make it up, you drink the tea” Fox. In fact, I’ll take all you idiots on at the same time. It should be as easy as kicking the shit out of a school yard bully.

And finally, the boycotts. It’s a nice sentiment. really it is. However, those companies have supported the Hillbilly Ass Catcher for years and no one thought to boycott them all the other times he’s gone bat shit crazy on the air.

In this case, the boycotts will ultimately mean zilch. As soon as the balloon juice blows through EIB HQ other sponsors will line up to sell the prols penis enhancers and instruction videos from the Sinclair Institute of Man on Horse Sex Not Safe For Work . As every CEO says, “We’re in the business of making money and a sucker’s born every minute.”

Some of my readers liken me to an old man sitting on his porch and throwing fire crackers at the birds. To be sure I don’t go easy on the charlatans and Future Felonists of America crowd, but I’m not normally this rabid. I calls ‘em like I sees ‘em and I sees a World Class, Puss-Filled bully that won’t dare invite anyone into his studios for the spanking he deserves. That is unless he’s reading this and somehow grew a backbone this week.

Ready when you are Rush. Prepare to be flushed.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!