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Running Away from George Bush Like Usain Bolt with a Rocket Up His Ass

1:56 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Oh brother, that’s rich! Suddenly, George W. Bush is no longer the crazy uncle no one wants to talk about. Some key Republicans have stopped running away from him like Usain Bolt with a rocket up his ass to turn and tell the world what a magnificent ass cake the Texas Tugjob really was. With apologies to Sally Field, “They hate him, they really hate him!”

Until now if you brought up George the Lesser in Republican quarters you’d likely get an, “Um, I think I left my lights on,” with a quick exit. Sure they knew he was a carbuncle on the ass of society, but how do you cop to supporting an incompetent boob for eight years and spend the next four blaming all the steaming turds he left on someone else?

It turns out you do it cravenly.

Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-Wherehtehellhaveyoubeenfor12years) thinks Obama’s handling of Al Qaeda is Iraq War III. He told Face the Nation, “I have seen this movie before.  I went to Iraq in 2004 and everybody told me things are going fine, this is just a few dead-enders. Iraq was falling apart, and you couldn’t get the truth from the Bush administration.”

I have to agree with him there, but no one got the truth from him either.

Crazy Amir’s Carpets, Home of the $5 Deal

After his famous 2004 trip with John McTheusela, he said, “We went to the market and were just really warmly welcomed. I bought five rugs for five bucks. And people were engaging.” Of course they were, the cracker and the old man traveled through the Green Zone with a scad of soldiers, in heavily armored Humvees (that real soldiers couldn’t get), with helicopter gunships flying top cover. It was the safest everyday Iraqis in the market had felt in years, especially since 88 people died there not long before our fearless twosome stared down Osama himself. Those rugs from Crazy Amir’s Carpet and AK-47 Emporium were the most expensive $5 rugs in history…but good for lying on apparently.

Now Lindsey and his cohorts think, “The Middle East is falling apart, and they’re (the Obama administration) trying to spin what happened in Libya because the truth of the matter is, al Qaeda is alive and well, and counter-attacking.”

True enough. They are alive and well and bombing, but then so is just about every other jackhole in the world – Americans included. But as we learned since then, al Qaeda weren’t even IN Iraq until George the Lesser Texas 2-Stepped in.

We should’ve gotten the hell out of there long before we started to, but with Condi W. George, “victory” was always just around the corner. If there is fault with Obama’s handling of an intractable Iraq mess, it is not coming up with a better solution for a problem that cannot be “solved”. He unwisely followed the plan the previous court jester plan left tucked in the top drawer of the Resolute Desk.

Oh, and two more points. First, Obama has never said al Qaeda is dead. He is acutely aware of their liveliness. In fact, they’re probably responsible for the Benghazi bombing. Second, your boy lost interest in Osama bin Laden while Obama squelched the skeevy bastard with extreme prejudice. So in one swoop, he did more to rid the world of the dangerous knotheads than George did in 8 years. However, there is no way to rid the world of knotheads. If there were, Graham wouldn’t be bloviating now.

Rep. Darrell Issa (R-Disneyland) is criticizing Obama for a lack of embassy security, that he – “Oops, I forgot to mention that” -  voted against. He compares Obama’s Middle East policies to “Mission Accomplished” George’s. “…when President George W. Bush went aboard an aircraft carrier and said, ‘Mission Accomplished,’ I listened, rightfully so, to people saying, look, but there are still problems, and they’re still dying,” Issa said. “And quite frankly, things got worse in many ways after that famous statement.”

Duh. Ya think? Of course things weren’t bad enough to vote against Bush’s mission, accomplished or otherwise, now were they?

Mission Accomplished Moment?  Um…No

“We’re going through a ‘Mission Accomplished’ moment,” Issa now says with no sense of irony. “Eleven years after September 11, Americans were attacked on September 11 by terrorists who pre-planned to kill Americans. That happened. And we can’t be in denial, particularly when there are compounds all over the Middle East that need to be legitimately protected at a level that security professionals ask for.”

Darrel, you’re completely right of course. The Obama administration didn’t protect the Benghazi embassy and they should have. We do need to know what happened. The story is in knots and the Administration must be honest, admit mistakes, present plans to fix them, and move on. Whether Obama and Biden personally knew about requests is beside the point. Whether it was al Qaeda or not is beside the point. Whether you and the rest of the Boehner Boys voted against funding is beside the point. The cock-up came on their watch and it is their responsibility.  But a “Mission Accomplished moment”?  Um…no.

Go ahead and investigate, but don’t be too pious about it and keep it fair. Remember, you were investigated for financial irregularities, grand theft auto, and illegal gun charges? You got a fair hearing. You might want to keep that in mind as an example of how to get problems solved.

Speaking of fairness, let’s not heap all this on the Republicans. Bush-era Dems voted like people sans vertebrae for 8 years. They aren’t so happy to trot that out today because they are afraid to and don’t have the morals to admit they screwed Barney during the Bush years. But then, the Republicans always were the ballsy ones.

Let’s not forget, Iraq and Afghanistan ain’t over and they never will be. People are still dying. We’re still paying off the huge off-budget bill for George’s nearly decade-long drunken spree. And, other hot spots crop up faster than the Great Ursine God Smokey can stomp them out. The problems, many of which were there long before George the Lesser was a twinkle in George the Ancient’s eye, are still problems with no solutions. It is not because people haven’t tried, but because you can’t solve terror or win a war that is no such thing. That is precisely why the candidates would rather walk over a broken glass, weenie roast bonfire than talk about the bedamned places.

Nope, there was plenty of blame to spread then and there is plenty of it to go around now. I’d recommend any politician who drives the Lindsey-Issa Craven Expressway to check their tires before they start the trip.

They’re bound to have a blowout.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks! More than politics, more than pop culture & humor.

ROMNEY TO EXECUTE BIG BIRD ON NATIONAL TV!

9:18 am in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

We haven’t seen headlines like this in a long time. SNEAK ATTACK ON HAWAII! NIXON RESIGNS! KIM K. TO MAKE SEX TAPE WITH KANYE! ROMNEY TO EXECUTE BIG BIRD ON NATIONAL TV!

Huh?

Come on, Mitt just launched one of his famous “zingers”. He even practiced them before the debate, although he probably cribbed this one from the snot jokes on his debate hanky. He didn’t mean he’d strap Big Bird to an altar, cut open his chest, and hold his still-beating faux-avian heart up as a sacrifice to the Goddess Ayn Rand. (Alternatively, Mitt could probably pitch him into a volcano too. I strongly suspect the asexual avian is a virgin.)

No, he meant he’d strap PBS to an altar, cut open its chest, and hold its still-beating pledge-broken heart up as a sacrifice to the Goddess Ayn Rand. (PBS is certainly no virgin since Republicans think it is chock-a-block with filthy references to that homo-icon Liza Minnelli.)

That’s not a new idea. Republicans hated PBS since the beginning. Why do you think their business model looks like reverse outsourcing? They couldn’t brook the, “commie, homeless, cookie thief living in a garbage can” thing. It’s programming for the eastern elites you understand.

Since the entire PBS budget is roughly equal to Bain’s luncheon martini bill, the Republic will not collapse – even the toddlers PBS recruits for the homosexual lifestyle using the immoral, queer Teletubbies – if it goes.

But then, it will have zero effect on the budget. So, it’s mostly a wash even though I’ll toss a petition signature or two and some money in the collection plate next pledge drive. This isn’t so much a War of Error, War on Christmas, or Class War; it’s sending an Aviary Expeditionary Force into harm’s way – without a Coalition of the Inept led by Mitch McConnell.

Don’t get me wrong. I love PBS. I like the occasional Met concert or Nova, though in the interests of full disclosure I’m not much of a 50th rerun Dr. Who fan. It’s not as if it’s totally worthless. Big Yellow puppets that read and classroom educational shows for teachers to TIVO at 3 am are useful – even if they teach ideologically unedited history and that Noah didn’t load a herd of Triceratops into the ark. Again, see the eastern elitist bias? Although, it’s hard to miss when Mitt’s humongous flag pin blocks your view.

DOWN IN FRONT!

I learned to read in a pre-Big Bird world – in fact, in a pre-PBS world. There were no cute yellow birds brought to you by the letter “C” to teach you, mainly because I could already read before TVs could show the Wonderful World of Disney, Bonanza, and Big Birds colorful plumage in “living color”. Even then, it was slow to catch on. Color TVs were very expensive, possibly foreshadowing the poor state of the current Consumer Confidence Index.

Judging from the hubbub over the much vaunted free-range reading finch, it’s unlikely Mitt will kill him. First, Congress will actually have to cut it and even Republicans are nervous birders when it comes to offing popular TV characters. Hell, 24 was on for years and they even water boarded. There would be yellow blood in the streets!

More likely, the Republicans will keep the eastern elitist programming, including that pinko yellow bird, because they need handy, safe punching bags to bully. Taking on subjects their own size is decidedly not a plank in the Republican platform. A bully could get hurt like that.

So let’s all calm down and keep our eyes on the “real issues” ball. Obama is still pinko and I hear Michelle Bachman thinks the census takers are on the way to toss us into concentration camps and throw away the fluoride. To quote another source of “the programing you love”:

SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM!

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks! More than politics, more than pop culture & humor.

Muslim or Mormon, What’s the Difference?

9:32 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Large and increasing numbers of Republicans, particularly conservative Republicans, believe Barack Obama is a Muslim. This fiction has been helped along by goobs conflating Islam with terrorism, or in Michele Bachmann’s fevered imagination, traitorous unamericanism. Many Christian zealots believe Muslims, and by extension the “Master Muslim” Obama, are filthy devils incarnate chiefly because they aren’t Christian. But aside from Atheists, they inexplicably don’t make such a big deal over Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, or any number of other non-Christian beliefs. Even child-abusing priests are somewhat OK as long as they are conservative child-abusing priests.

Among a group of people that wouldn’t believe Obama was born in Hawaii if the delivery doctor showed up and took a polygraph to the contrary, falsely believing Obama is a Muslim isn’t much of a stretch. ‘I want to see the long-form baptismal certificate, dammit!’

By comparison, everyone correctly believes Romney is Mormon. However, despite believing Mormonism is an unchristian cult and those clean cut fellows on bicycles wearing black tie and white shirts are vaguely evil because voters know zip about them (including that their church is called the Church of Latter Day Saints and not The Church of Mormon), they don’t seem much bothered.

Despite all that, the larger and more interesting question here is, “why does it matter”?

Except for the fringiest of the fringy, no one accuses Obama of terrorism against Americans. Hating the commie bastard for Obamacare and the fact he can’t create jobs isn’t a Muslim thing it’s a Democratic thing and no one, even the Muslim conspiracies, suggest otherwise. Conversely, cult member Mittens is the good, though not particularly well-liked, guy. Perhaps Romneylans believe the angel Moroni or God can both create jobs and repeal Obamacare equally well and Mitts is just the vessel for creating burger-flipping serfs. Who knows? We are not talking rational logic here.

Come on conservatives, hate him because you hate him, and don’t cower behind a false belief like some Democrat wussy. You’re supposed to be the party of hard-edge authoritarianism, not some gaggle of bleeding heart socialists. You are the self-professed, iron-willed masters of the universe. Hating him for being a Muslim is like you bowing to the Queen despite that special Anglo-Saxon relationship. Hate him for something real like being black or singing Motown passably well or being a taxing taxer of the over taxed taxpayer. Be genuine. Be real. Fess up and admit Obama being a Muslim and Mitt being a Mormon are about the same thing.

The answer to the question, “why does it matter” is this. It doesn’t. Not by a Muslim longshot.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks! More than politics, more than pop culture & humor

Regardless of Economic Plan America Can’t Compete

2:08 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Both Republicans and Democrats jabber a lot about jobs, even when times are relatively good. When times are bad the talk turns into a nasty shite-storm. The mantra for both sides is America can’t compete if we don’t [fill in the blank]. But here’s a dirty little secret: America can’t effectively compete regardless of which ideology you prefer.

Republicans argue that if we didn’t tax the wealthy or corporations and got rid of regulations we’d be trickling jobs like Ronald Reagan’s pissing down Donald Stockman’s leg.

The Democratic vision is to tax the hell out of the wealthy and make corporations pay dearly, but oddly considering their constituency and history, get rid of regulations too. Dems also like to retrain those with unmarketable skills into those with different unmarketable skills. Turning steel makers into assembly line workers doesn’t gain much unless you only need workers to assemble steel Big Macs.

We Unbombed Them Back From the Stone AgeAfter WWII, America spent a lot of money rebuilding the world economy. We rebuilt countries we bombed back to the Stone Age. Sure it was altruistic, but more importantly, there was plenty of economic benefit for America too.

Made in Japan” used to be code for cheap crap – items from faux Stucky’s gift shop Indian drums to transistor radios that barely lasted through the voyage to American shores. Crap made cheaply, sold to relatively wealthy Americans, kept the money flowing and built a unified international economy that replaced the chaos of dozens of national unequal economies.

By the late 60′s, Japanese cheap crap became a flood of very good Japanese products. There was still a fairly vibrant US economy where heavy industry provided adequate jobs for adequate pay. Japan was still cheap enough to compete with American companies, but that was rapidly changing. As America exported more jobs, we also became a nation of consumer debt ridden, credit-crazy, not-saving orgyists buying stuff like 5-bladed razors and houses we couldn’t afford.

The collapse was on.

But the Japanese were no fools. As their fortunes rose. they began to demand the same sort of money and working conditions as Americans. American corporations responded to their demands and continued to send jobs even as their products became inexorably more expensive.

Eventually, both America and Japan became too expensive. Jobs moved from there to places like Korea. Then by the same route, Korean jobs moved to places like India, and lately, China. Radically low costs may draw jobs to places like Uganda next.

Truth is,  America can’t compete with foreign sweatshops and Chinese prison labor on cost. If Americans worked for those wages they’d have even less money than we do today.

What about deregulation? We’ve already moved most high paying American jobs to Third World countries. Their lax or unknown regulations make their sweatshops and factories some of the most dangerous jobs on the planet.

Doing Anything to Turn a RupeeFor example China, on behalf of American companies, push Chinese workers to the point of suicide. The air in most Third World countries is too thick to breathe. Workers die from exposure to toxic chemicals or crushworthy machines and when they do are replaced with other destitute people willing to do anything to turn a Rupee – regardless of the danger and damage to their health and safety. If you don’t provide adequate health care, the cost of dead and disabled workers doesn’t matter much.

It’s often said that Americans won’t take some jobs. That may be true, but there’s a reason. American corporate sweatshops may make products cost competitive with India or China, but do it at the expense of worker safety while producing less and less money to buy their own goods.

You got no money, you can’t buy a color TV…from anyone.

The economic pendulum has swung one direction for a long, long time – perhaps too far to swing back. We should expect recessions to be deeper and last longer than ever before, regardless of the Democratic or Republican plans.

The War on the Middle Class is true, but so is the War on the Wealthy. Sadly, these are but the first battles in the War on Everyone, rich and poor alike. It’s united we stand, divided we fall time. Absent some agreement between waring political factions, we’ll all be killed in an economic holocaust.

And, that benefits no one.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

The Limbaugh Fight: Will the Winner Get an Asterisk in the Record Book?

11:45 am in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Let’s get this straight. In my opinion, Rush Limbaugh was wrong. He was wrong in calling a young woman a slut and prostitute. He was insincere, at best, in his multiple apologies. He was wrong – or deliberately lying – about salient information covering contraception.

He’s done this many times before. Yet, the Dittohead Nation always answers the clarion calls to defend him and their other conservative heroes with a scorched earth policy comprised of, “it was those dirty (liberals, leftists, socialists, communists, Nazis, or secular humanists, take your pick) “made me do it” and a series of “heartfelt” apologies that are anything but.

In short, the man is a dog rocket, but his oft repeated claim that Democrats are just as guilty at slinging the mud at him has some validity.

Previously rebuked Don Imus called Limbaugh an “insincere pig“. Liberal talking head Ed Schultz made similar cracks about Fox’s Laura Ingraham, calling her a “talk slut”. Not exactly taking the high road and just as bad as taking Rush’s low road.

This same tit-for-tat, “I never do it, but the other side always does it” argument is rampant in today’s toxic political environment. Politics has become a zero sum game where scorning any sort of compromise is accepted as the cost of doing political business. It’s unfortunate, but not unexpected.

America’s biggest bloviators have honed the art of sneak attacks while hiding behind the other side’s temerity in saying bad things. The point is you poke another kid on the playground in the eye and then deny the whole thing ever happened – despite witnesses and security camera. Though both sides claim the righteousness of taking responsibility for their actions, they really mean everyone but them.

If you call someone a slut, own it. Say, “Yes I did it” or say nothing to start things at all. This takes a disciplined mind, but it also takes a disciplined mouth – something most commentators don’t have.

I take full responsibility for what I write. I frequently say bad things about stupid people, but try to acknowledge that folks of the opposite opinion do stupid things too – like in this post.

My blog may be bombastic, but I try to be open-minded about what other folks feel. I learn a lot from those exchanges and sometimes so do the people with opinions different than mine. Those exchanges rarely change my mind because I believe for a variety of reasons mine are better. The only thing I’m normally swayed by are immutable facts – not opinions about them – that cause me to question my own logic. Agreeing to disagree is a good thing, but truly taking responsibility for what you say is even better.

Let the disagreements begin!

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

The New LaManchas

11:43 am in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Flip Floping Romney

FLIP FLOPPER - Apparently Mitt Romney has as much fidelity to his "principles" as John "Flapjacks" McThusela.

Opinions are like bandwagons, everybody has one. Almost all opinions have a grain of truth at their core, but you have to winnow through a lot of crabgrass to get to it.Many people like to compare the Tea Party to Occupy Wall St. I’m sure it’s a delight for the pundits to debate themselves on innumerable news programs and shout fests, but it doesn’t mean much right now. The situation is simply too fluid to predict where it will go.

One notion says the Tea Party is a laser-focused group of very loud Stepfords harping on taxes, healthcare many of them already accept, and the Obamunist. They applaud anything that agrees with their Pollyanna view and boo anything that doesn’t. By contrast, OWS (there’s an unfortunate abbreviation for you) is a complete rabble of hippies and drifting malcontents that don’t have a cogent message, much less a strong organization culture. They might possibly be Communists or, worse yet, liberals.

Militant Librarians

MILITANT LIBRARIANS - Hell hath no fury like a librarian scorned.

The profile of your average Tea Bagger is quietly in flux. Some of them want limited protest and unquestioning adherence to their own ideology. Some are hammering in a religion plank and are thrilled with Rick Santorum and Michele Bachmann, the goofiest two candidates who have personal speed dials for God. Mitt Romney, of course, can’t stand on that plank because he belongs to a cult/non-cult called Mormonism. They’d vote Muslim before they’d vote for that quasi-Christian poseur. At least Muslims look different so you can always see their evil or require their papers.

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