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1984 in 2012

3:30 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

George Orwell has a well-deserved reputation as one of the 20th Century’s greatest authors – one with a Jules Verne-like ability to predict the future. Unfortunately, his predictions turned out to be much darker than Verne’s visions of spaceships and submarines. If possible, Orwell’s are more nuanced and scarily true. If he missed anything, it was the full-implementation of Ingsoc 20 years too late.

“There was of course no way of knowing whether you were being watched at any given moment. How often, or on what system, the Thought Police plugged in on any individual wire was guesswork. It was even conceivable that they watched everybody all the time.” – George Orwell, 1984.

Let the Dystopia Begin!

In his book 1984, Orwell described a dystopian society tightly held under the thumb of Big Brother and his ruling elites. When I first read the story in the early ’70s, many of the elements of an Oceania aborning were already there. There was plenty of double think and double speaking abounded. Citizens, scared of almost daily hijackings to Cuba, were already grumblingly submitting to metal detectors, even as pundits agreed the public would never accept such a restriction on their personal liberties. But at least First Amendment-crushing wiretaps were still mostly the province of J. Edgar Hoover and the Richard Nixon Plumbing Company.

It makes me long for someone I can trust.

Today, Americans’ unnatural fear of bat-shit crazy extremists, and pretty much everything and everyone else on the planet, has turned them into lemmings that not only refuse to question draconian security rules, they beg for them – and Big Brother didn’t even have to brainwash them to do it.

Metal detectors are the least of a traveller’s problems in a day of strip-searches, x-ray peepers, no-fly lists, any liquid not contained in a clear 5 oz. bottle, or a spork. We have the classically doublespeak-named abomination PATRIOT Act to keep us safe by allowing our government,  and pretty much anyone with a $1000 campaign donation, to spy on anyone they please. The only way to treat a telephone these days is to assume it is a party line with you and 200 of our closest spies listening in.

Our complete conversion to Oceania isn’t quite complete…yet. However, the last pieces of technology needed for complete subjugation are going on line. We’ve already covered wiretapping and you can’t move anything on a computer without having the whole world watching. Mail snoops have been around as long as Ben Franklin was the first postmaster. However, Franklin reputably put his influence to better use than spying – reputedly peddling porn.

In a recent and little-noticed FAA funding authorization, the ruling elite wedged in a non-funding related requirement for the FAA to speed up authorizations for government agencies operating drones. The FAA must allow government lookie-loos to fly any drone weighing 4.4 pounds or less and operated in the line of sight, below 400 feet, during the day.

I await the day when an airliner sucks one into an engine on approach to St. Ronnie of Reagan National and crashes. I’m sure airlines will be forbidden to fly to leave more room for the drones the next day.

Wide-Open SnoopingBy nature, I’m not much of a Libertarian. People like Ron and Rand Paul are generally nutty and spend far too much time trying to make the rest of us nutty too. But Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson’s problem with a bill that makes America a, “wide-open playground for government snooping,” hit the nail on the head…and there’s probably drone video somewhere to prove it.

“Big Brother is alive and well, and now we’re talking about making it easier for him to fly remote control planes loaded with cameras over our neighborhoods,” Johnson said. “Based on our experience with the PATRIOT Act, the National Defense Authorization Act, and several other laws Congress has enacted in recent years, it is not alarmist to fear or assume that when we give the government the power to snoop, they will indeed snoop.”

No truer words by a Libertarian have ever been spoken. Government WILL snoop. They will sometimes do it for a good reason and actually stop some nefarious plot. They will sometimes do it badly and someone will end up at Gitmo sans habeas corpus. But most of all, they’ll snoop because they can and there is no one to watch them. It’s human nature. Everyone has a little bit of Mrs. McGillicuddy across the street peeking through the drapes in their DNA.

I’d feel much more confident about this slippery slope we’ve almost gotten to the bottom of  if the Pauls and other members of government would stop carping about the scary tyranny of light bulb efficiency regulations and low-flow crappers and concentrate on real tyranny.

That is unless they have a secret plan to bring Big Brother to his knees by faking the number of lumens a light bulb must have.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Newt Gingrich: Leading the Cockroach Ticket

2:58 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Newt's Dick

AND THEN I TOLD MARIANNE… – “Darlin’, I got some serious junk here and there’s just too much of Newt to not share the wealth.”

Newt Gingrich has an ego as big as all outdoors, or at least a big as Donald Trump’s. He’s a historian with only a nodding acquaintance with text book history and his own self-professed place in it.  The other thing Newt has is a propensity for pissing people off. People like voters and political allies in his own party. While this isn’t an altogether useless skill in an election, it isn’t so great when a President has to work with people rather than through them. If cockroaches will survive nuclear holocaust Newt will be right there tossing garbage to them.

Newt and the Bulldog
The Grey One has already screwed the pooch in the opinion of most political pundits. Screwed the bulldog just like The Crazy One, The Pizza Deliverer, Governor Big Hair, and The Unknown Candidate. He’s left competing with The Even Crazier One, The Crazy Little Old Man, and The Moronic Mormon.  As long as evangelicals, pissed off white guys, and the rest of the Ignorati from small, unimportant states vote like lemmings he’ll still be winner take all on pure political gutsiness.

Make no mistake, Newt will become the candidate. I’m not a believer in legislating personal behavior , but a man pandering to values voters while having none of his own isn’t a problem. The values folks vote that way all the time and a little pecker-waving is a small price to pay beating The Messiah (oh, and BTW, when’s he going to show us his birth certificate?). By election time, the Mormon will have as big a reputation for never meeting a position he didn’t like and revealing his birth certificate instead of his 0% tax rate forms will be the least of his problems.

Newt is Newt
Newt will stride across the GOP stage like John McTheusela and try to convince the Republicans that running as President and Vice President at the same time is a good thing. After all, he’s Newt and Newt is more powerful than God. Still, some single-payer corporate grifters will kibosh the idea and force Newt to take on a wildly ridiculous running mate, maybe a Dan Quayle comeback.

The Dems will float a Biden Presidential run because they are just as afraid of Newt as the few thinking Republicans are.  But eventually, The Messiah will clinch the nomination after some public cat herding. Eventually, the Obamunator will win by the skin of his socialist nose after Newt’s hubris trips him up by saying something so weird even the Republicans can’t overlook it – perhaps moving into the White House immediately after his nomination.

Never underestimate the power of a man who can schtup wife two while taking on the Stepford Wife with the bad hair and can explain that the whole thing was Calista’s doing.

Hey, it could happen.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!

Newt “I Got My Ass Kicked Over That Name A Lot When I Was a Kid” Gingrich

2:16 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Poll watchers are writing the obituary for Newt “I Got My Ass Kicked Over That Name A Lot When I Was a Kid” Gingrich. Pundits are screaming at each other with full-throated vigor and the public stands agog that none of the punditocrisy saw this coming.

“Newt’s a smart guy and will pull it all together!” Newt has too much baggage and doesn’t have a hope in hell” go the chants.

My opinion is that Newt has an ego that would give Donald Trump a hard on. And, he likes to play the “(revised) history professor” to a party well-known as the ignorati since medieval serfs used sticks for shovels… and housing… and, when necessary, food. Besides, everyone had a 7th grade history teacher that hated them. That memory is really hard to overcome.

Newt, the Small Salamander
In the end, Newt will fall into his own mouth and swallow himself into a heftily paid lobbyist and “professor” in some of the nation’s most academically-challenged institutions of higher learning. Besides, he’s named for a small amphibian and that’s a heavy cross to bear.

Noting unusual here. Politicians flame out all the time.  What seems to differ this time is that the Republican field is like the Kentucky Derby with 6 more horses than starting gates.

So far, the ultra-insane wing – Michele Bachmann and Governor Goodhair – have fallen prey to that old political disease, Village Idiot Syndrome. Herman Cain – who passes for a moderate in today’s Republican Party – went down with “I Can’t Keep it in My Pants” Disease.

Rick Santorum is a late bloomer angling for the “Uber-Ultra Insanitite With a Cherry on Top” vote. He’ll fare about as well as anyone who, when Googled, displays a picture of runny shit.

Jon Huntsman will die a quiet political death while trying to explain how his billionaire father has nothing to do with his campaign while accepting more money than God from him. Breeding truly tells.

Ron Paul will pull the hardcore daffies like he’s the second coming of Dennis Kucinich, but daffiness doesn’t sell nearly as well as bat-shit, full-moon lunacy.

That religious cultist Mitt Romney – who’s sole redeeming feature is that he isn’t one of the others – will still lose. It seems what you don’t say is almost as bad a saying something stupid. Wearing special underwear and having been named for a piece of baseball equipment will not overcome his challenges either.

I Love the Smell of Moose Urine in the Morning
Who’s left? No, not Donald Trump. He won’t find campaigning nearly as cool as delusional idol worship, gold-plated everything, and swag lamps. The White Trump House is simply not klassy enough for him.

But, is that moose urine or wolf carcass offal on the tundra I smell? Why of course, Yosemite Samantha Sarah is baaaack!

She’s nowhere as loony as Santorum or Bachmann, but they’ve been genetically bred for maximum hilarity – religious, anti-chimp/anti-evolution claims notwithstanding.  Perry gives her a run for her money, but in the end he still sounds like George the Lesser raised from the dead. And the one thing everyone agrees is that George the Lesser should be exiled to Sardinia… forever.

For some inexplicable reason, people will listen to her. Maybe it’s her folksy delivery or sexy schoolmarm schtick. Maybe it’s her “just plain folks” sensibilities. “She just seems so darn nice,” Republican women will gush. People see her as having the same troubles as them. After all, her reality show was cancelled and it’s replacement withered on the vine. Everyone can relate to that, can’t they?

Of course, Obama will win the election – not because people like him – but because they see how bad things are now and are absolutely terrified it’ll get even worse with someone else in the catbird seat.

Surprisingly, Republicans aren’t driving nails into their own coffin with this baffling array of candidates with donut holes for brains. No, they’ll just look like buffoons until such time as the Democrats out-buffoon them and then put up some yokel with lots of money and no morals for the win.


Perry’s Sex Life, Out of Bounds

1:53 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Perry Sex Sex Scandal

IS RICK PERRY HAVING SEX - 'Rick honey, move over you're hogging all the covers'.

“Governor Perry, do you now or have you ever schtupped a stripper, escort, or young hottie?”

What kind of question is that?

Read the rest of this entry →