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Pootiehead Romney Likes the Poop Head Bit

2:16 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Using the word “human” and Mitt Romney in the same sentence is such a weird concept that his campaign’s mission is to “humanize” him. When the man is a 1 percenter who brags of joy in firing people, describes corporations as people, and needs an elevator for his cars, it’s a tough order. Not everyone comes to comedy naturally – like Sarah Palin.

Mention the word “funny” in the same sentence as Mitt Romney and you get something wholly different. The man is funny, but not in that sharp-witted Jon Stewart way. No, he’s more of a crazy George Bush smirking, millionaire bumbler, accidentally scary sort of way.

However, Mitten’s sons may have found the trick to humanize him. They’ve revealed his humor is normal and all American. Two funny-assed birds with one hilarious…a human funny guy. This could change the election.

The crew of last election’s Five Brother Bus tour sat down with Conan O’Brien, a funny fellow himself, and revealed Mitt really loves poop jokes – specifically the one featuring a Will Ferrell-Cheri Oteri cheerleader skit on Saturday Night Live.

“Taco! Burrito! ” and then Mitt says, “What’s coming out of your Speedo?”

Even if you’re the stuffy, high nosed Miss Manners type, you have to agree that shite jokes are quintessentially American. No one in the world guffaws at a good old fashioned dog rocket joke than we folks in the land of the free and the home of the infantile. That 9-year old boy at the center of the American psyche just can’t suppress the twittering mirth after someone cracks wise about cutting the cheese.

“Hee, hee. Mitt said poop.”

Until now, mention Romney and “poop” in same sentence and it is probably  someone comparing him to an actual turd,  in much the same way George the Lesser referred to Karl Rove as, “Turd Blossom“.

“AH, HA, HA, HA, HA…oh. good times!”

You have to love the crapulent Mitt for his love of crap. He always said he was a mischievous little dickens. Remember that , “hold the kid down and shave him bald” incident? Mitt himself said it was just hijinks, nothing more. Hijinks just like writing “HE” “LP” on the shoes of a friend gettinig married so “HELP” appeared when he knelt at the altar.

That’s funnier than shit. Bwah, haw, haw!

Now that the boys have bailed Dad out of the Stepford Dad box he was in, he’s all prepped to, “Win One with No. 1 and No. 2″. Just another happy go lucky man of the people, able to laugh at immigration reform and give a sheepish grin when he explains his wife wrote off $77,000 on her “dress-age” horse.

The change will all but clinch the teabag fringed hat wearing, misspelled sign carrying Tea Bagglers and sew up the “Back to Bush” crowd that so ardentally follows him. Every one loves a good giggle. Except…

…those damn no-humor Democrat bums. Come on! These are people who don’t find job loss, firing teachers, or tapping phones one damn bit funny. WTF democrats? Jump on the Five Bothers Express and  laugh a little.

If you don’t, you’ll be forced to cry.

Cross posted at The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks! More than politics, more than pop culture.

Victoria Jackson Wears the Tutu of Fear

2:31 pm in Uncategorized by Omnipotent Poobah

Some Lovely Tutus (photo: ilovememphis/flickr)

Some Lovely Tutus (photo: ilovememphis/flickr)

 

There is no shortage of Americans full of crackpot ideas and imagined conspiracies. They’re usually part of an unknown cast preaching to like-minded goobs. But occasionally someone with a not-so-unknown name takes to the bloody pulpit.

Truth be told the left and right both have plenty of celebrities in their ideological quivers. But the right’s stable may be smaller and makes up in bat-shit craziness what it loses in quantity.

Ted Nugent is the prototypical conservative in camo. The Nooge never misses a chance to link omnipresent commies to nefarious plots bent on confiscating cross bows or some other equally deranged story. A lifetime of hearing Cat Scratch Fever set to 11 has damaged the man. But Nooge, step aside. There’s a new crackpot in town.

Victoria Jackson made a comedy career of dressing like a 10-year old girl and speaking in a voice that sounded like Carol Channing on helium. The combination was good enough to win her an SNL role and star in a few forgettable movies that required a vacuous girl wearing a tutu and playing the ukulele.

After a long stint playing a Florida homemaker – why is it always Florida – she’s back with a show of her own and a political ideology that makes a Michele Bachmann/Sarah Palin Siamese Twin sound positively grounded.

Vic’s latest rant – branded Victoria Jackson’s Still A Crazy Asshole – suggests she has fallen under the sway of the, President Obama is behind all of this and we will all have to “convert or be killed!” crowd. In her mind, Anti-Christ Hussein Obama will force everyone to join the Muslim Brotherhood and accept sharia as the law of the land. This isn’t an unknown position amongst the ignorati, even though it is illogical using their own logic: How can Obama be too stupid to tie his own shoes yet carry out what would have to be a cover up roughly the size and complexity of the Manhattan project?

Some might argue that her return to TV, helming a show on PolitiChics, is just an extension of her career acting like a bubble head. Others would argue she isn’t “acting”. If she weren’t so damn scary, in the same way Rick Santorum is scary, you could probably take the show and her actions as an inspired comedy patterned after Andy Kaufmann. Read the rest of this entry →