In my inbox this morning:

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent and very confidential secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude. I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of $800,000,000,000 (Eight hundred billion United States Dollars). If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred. Consequently, my proposal is that you act in this capacity.

This is simple. I would like you to reply immediately with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction, and it will not get into the hands of some corrupt government officials.

After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds, how the funds will be spend, and how you will benefit. There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this transaction will be done by attorneys and my position at the Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America guarantees the successful execution of this transaction.

Please observe utmost confidentiality about this, and rest assured that this transaction would be most profitable for both of us. I will be investing the $800,000,000,000 (Eight hundred billion United States Dollars)in certain debt properties. We will share in these profits as outlined in the documents you will receive and you will become very rich.

Awaiting your Urgent Reply,
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson