Remains-of-the-cheese-board by ImipolexG (fickr)Poor Rahm.

First he dumps on the Veal Pen for ads against Blue Dogs who have been obstructing health care reform, calling them "f—ing retarded."

This does not go down well with progressives, but they’re used to it from Rahm. It also does not go down well with folks like the Special Olympics, who have a big campaign called "End the Word" aimed at eliminating this kind of language that demeans one group by associating them with those who have various disabilities. (See r-word.org for more.) Unlike polite progressives, they’re not used to it, so Rahm offers Tim Shriver an apology and says everything’s fine.

Except, of course, it isn’t:

The vice president for communications at the Special Olympics, Kirsten Seckler, told me that this account of the conversation is "inaccurate."

"Tim didn’t accept his apology," she said. "Tim can’t do that. He can’t accept an apology on behalf of all people with disabilities."

Shriver had simply said, she said, that he was willing to continue the conversation with the chief of staff.

Oops.

Perhaps what Rahm needs to do is offer to help out with the "End the Word" campaign. Rahm’s a well-known politician, after all. Surely there’s something that could be worked out . . .

Three words for you, Rahm: Public Service Announcement.

In fact, I’ll even give you the script.

* * *

Scene: Rahm at a fancy dinnertable in an upscale restaurant

Diner at a neighboring table: . . . So I said, "That’s f—ing retarded."

Rahm (wipes his mouth with his napkin, then puts his napkin to the side of his plate, gets up, and walks over): Don’t give me that sh*t.

Diner: Excuse me?

Rahm: You f—ing heard me.

(entire room is looking at Rahm, who turns and catches everyone’s eyes)

Rahm: That’s right. You all heard me. That kind of language is f—ing unacceptable. Out of f—ing bounds. (leaning close to the Diner) Un. Ac. F—ing. Ceptable.

(Diner backs away in his chair)

Rahm: (picking up his steak knife) "Retarded"? That R-word is dead to me. (stabs table) "Ree-tard"? Dead! (stabs table again) You hear me? Dead! (stabs table) Dead! (stabs table) Dead-dead-dead-dead-dead! (stabs table five times)

(Rahm turns to catch every eye once more)

Rahm (quietly): F—ing dead. Anyone have any questions?

(silence)

Rahm: I didn’t think so. (leaves knife in the table, takes his seat, places his napkin in his lap, and resumes eating)

* * *

I’m sure this will smooth everything over quite nicely.

photo h/t ImipolexG